I’ve talked to my husband and I’ve talked to a therapist and now I thought I would share my question to see if I could hear from other people who may have been there before or are looking down a similar path. Do you have any coping suggestions for making the OB/midwife (and pregnancy) less scary for a rape survivor?
I’ve been having sex with my husband for about six years. However, only recently was the first time I had sex where I felt no pain. I have been dealing with painful sex for the entire time that I have been sexually active. I am sharing this to let other women know they are not alone.
When I first broached the subject of permanent, non-hormonal birth control with my gynecologist, I wasn’t even considering a tubal ligation. I had originally been trying to decide between the copper IUD and Essure. IUDs (intrauterine devices) are not permanent, but they do last a while. Essure (spring devices that are implanted in your fallopian tubes) is a fairly new procedure that can be performed in your gyno’s office but is permanent. I was leaning toward Essure because it was permanent and would only cost an office co-pay until this happened: “If I were you, I would just get my tubes tied.”
I am 14 weeks pregnant with my first child. So far, everything looks good, and I am considered to be low-risk. My question is about how to say no to my OB. For various reasons, a midwife was not a good option for us. We chose an OB who has a great reputation for low-intervention deliveries and for respecting mothers’ wishes. I don’t agree with the over-medicalization of pregnancy, so I thought we were on the same page.
My husband and I are currently childless but getting ready to start trying to conceive — and my gynecologist is retiring! I’m looking for a new one, and wondering: what did you ask when looking around?
How can I tell my gynecologist I don’t want her to be part of my pregnancy without hurting her feelings?
Is it weird to see my regular doctor for a preconception checkup knowing I don’t necessarily want her to be my OB? Do birthing centers do those kinds of checkups and should I find one prior to getting pregnant to avoid the above awkwardness? Do most couples pick an OB/midwife before getting pregnant, or am I putting the cart before the horse?