Category Archive


How do you make the invasiveness of pregnancy less scary for a rape survivor?

I’ve talked to my husband and I’ve talked to a therapist and now I thought I would share my question to see if I could hear from other people who may have been there before or are looking down a similar path. Do you have any coping suggestions for making the OB/midwife (and pregnancy) less scary for a rape survivor?

I have been dealing with painful sex as long as I’ve been sexually active

I’ve been having sex with my husband for about six years. However, only recently was the first time I had sex where I felt no pain. I have been dealing with painful sex for the entire time that I have been sexually active. I am sharing this to let other women know they are not alone.

Why I got my tubes tied before I turned 30

When I first broached the subject of permanent, non-hormonal birth control with my gynecologist, I wasn’t even considering a tubal ligation. I had originally been trying to decide between the copper IUD and Essure. IUDs (intrauterine devices) are not permanent, but they do last a while. Essure (spring devices that are implanted in your fallopian tubes) is a fairly new procedure that can be performed in your gyno’s office but is permanent. I was leaning toward Essure because it was permanent and would only cost an office co-pay until this happened: “If I were you, I would just get my tubes tied.”

My OB is pushing a lot of scans for my low-risk pregnancy: how do I stand up for myself?

I am 14 weeks pregnant with my first child. So far, everything looks good, and I am considered to be low-risk. My question is about how to say no to my OB. For various reasons, a midwife was not a good option for us. We chose an OB who has a great reputation for low-intervention deliveries and for respecting mothers’ wishes. I don’t agree with the over-medicalization of pregnancy, so I thought we were on the same page.

What questions did you ask when finding a gynecologist?

My husband and I are currently childless but getting ready to start trying to conceive — and my gynecologist is retiring! I’m looking for a new one, and wondering: what did you ask when looking around?

How can I tell my gynecologist I don’t want her to be part of my pregnancy without hurting her feelings?

Is it weird to see my regular doctor for a preconception checkup knowing I don’t necessarily want her to be my OB? Do birthing centers do those kinds of checkups and should I find one prior to getting pregnant to avoid the above awkwardness? Do most couples pick an OB/midwife before getting pregnant, or am I putting the cart before the horse?