Crossing bridges when I get there: my life as a legally-blind single mom
Living differently than the norm with a disability was riddled with obstacles even before I became responsible for a wee human being. Back then I’d often make personal sacrifices to accomplish goals I wouldn’t expect of a child. These days it’s a balancing act of happening upon alternative opportunities that are within my abilities, don’t require a car to get there, and because I don’t have childcare, toddler welcoming.
A life-altering diagnosis: I just found out my unborn child has Down Syndrome
I knew I was pregnant the moment I conceived. Call it a woman’s intuition or a case of mother-knows-best, but I knew. As the weeks went on and I could finally take a pregnancy test and receive reliable results, my partner Brian and I stared at the giant plus sign and I said, “I told you so.” As things progressed, I also knew I was having another boy. So when I got additional news about our son, I was shocked that I didn’t already know…
How can I explain where my deceased daughter is to our future children without bringing up religion?
Our first child passed away at five months of age due to cancer. Just because she is no longer physically with us does not mean that she is not in our everyday life. How can I make the afterlife a non-scary place for a child without the clouds and harps?
How do you decide when to tell your kid about your personality disorder(s)?
My fiance and I are planning on having children in the near future. He has ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, and Dissociative Identity Disorder — multiple personalities if you will. Right now, it’s just me, him, and my sister who know. We’re wondering: how do we tell our future kids?
Releasing feelings of guilt and blame when your child is born with an illness
I’ll never forget the moment I realized I didn’t get to hold my baby right after his birth like I was “supposed” to. It wasn’t when you would think, but instead it happened several hours later when I sat alone in my half of a shared hospital room and listened to the woman next to me coo at her baby. All of a sudden it hit me: I didn’t get to do that, and I didn’t know when I would.
How do you talk to your kid about differences?
My daughter is growing up with parents who have a strong judgement-free policy, but we don’t have the ability to introduce her to every type of person in the world. How are you explaining differences (physical, mental, racial, etc.) to your children?
My baby can’t leave the house and I’m going nuts: what low-key games do you play with your infant?
My son spent most of his first four months of life in a hospital. Because he is so recently post-transplant, he can’t be in most public spaces without either a wee baby-sized face mask or without being in his stroller under a rain cover to block out airborne germs. We’ve played the same five games over and over — what else can we do to keep one another entertained?
Knowing when to call the game: we don’t care if our son doesn’t play team sports
As I have been diagnosed with ADD and can spot the signs, my husband and I anticipate our son will end up with an ADD diagnosis down the line. Until it interferes with his happiness, success, and self-esteem we’re quietly (nervously) watching from the sidelines. And if he’s not into sports… that’s fine.