I’ve gone from Child-Free to confused and now I’m grossed out
In the break rooms at work, over lunch, next to coffee pots or in store aisles while shopping for high gloss paint, I have proclaimed with unwavering conviction to at least a hundred people: “I never, absolutely never, want kids.” This stance has come to symbolize a lot more than my choice on children: it represents my autonomy, my position in (or not in) various social spheres, and, to some degree, my rejection of conventionality. And thus, my recent confusion about whether or not I want a kid has felt like a lot of very unpleasant things.
How and when do you tell your kids your dirty little secrets?
Like many of us my husband and I have pasts… and not everything is lily white. While we aren’t proud of these things in our past, we also aren’t ashamed of them — they are part of who we are, and helped define our characters. How do we talk to our kids about our pasts while making sure it’s not OK that they repeat our mistakes?
My son and I left my abusive marriage and have never been happier
One day, as I was contemplating driving into oncoming traffic, I just snapped. I took my one-year old son, left my nice house and my not-so-nice husband and went to my local women’s shelter.
Feeling comfortable in my own skin: I’ve birthed and breastfed two kids and I’m happy with my body
I have a bucket list. I keep it written in a little journal and I get it out and stare at it once in a while. Some of the items on there are big, lofty experiences that I hope to have one day. However, many of the things on that list are simple, personal experiences I want to achieve. This week, I got to cross one off the list: feeling comfortable in a bathing suit.
Finding happiness in the unexpected serenity of new parenthood
I’m new to it all — breastfeeding, changing diapers, not sleeping through the night because every cough and rumble makes me jump. I feel pretty inept at all of it. Happiness, I guess by its nature, is a fragile kind of thing — poised on some sort of ledge ready to go either way.
Babysitting and boundaries: my 5 rules for watching friends’ kids
Children are gifts, right? Sometimes they’re diamonds… or a gift bag of your favorite perfume… or a cheese tree. Other times they’re your great Aunt’s fruitcake. One way or the other, when you’re trying to plan an evening away, the rules of gift-giving apply.
I survived post-partum depression — twice
Before I had kids, I was really, really happy. I didn’t exactly party like a rock star, but I had all the free time in the world. I worked 40 hours, had a great boyfriend, vacationed every chance I got, and spent office time Googling fun drinks to make after work. Then I missed a period, found out I was pregnant, and everything I thought I was dissolved.
How involved are you when your kid visits family?
My husband and I each have pretty abrasive families. We don’t fear for our child’s safety in anyone’s company, but each set of personalities present their own unique complications — our families don’t really know what it means to be “kid-friendly.” What kind of ground rules should we lay down for when our kids visits?