Category Archive


Not attending a funeral when my sister wants me to be a pallbearer

My sister wants me to be a pallbearer at her funeral, but I don’t want to go at all

My sister has written to me asking if I’d be a pallbearer at her funeral. She is terminally ill with only a few months to live. I love her. She lives 6,000 miles away. I have, over the past few years, travelled to see her on a few occasions, the last a while back, really to say good-bye.

I’m an emotional person, not very strong, and I’m afraid and the thought of travelling 12,000 miles round-trip to attend a funeral does not appeal to me. How on earth do I say no without hurting her feelings whilst she is still with us? Please help me — even if to say I should just be strong and attend the funeral.

“Where grief and celebration meet”: This end of life pet photo session will break and warm your heart

Beth pulled me aside in her veterinary practice and with tears in her eyes told me that she’d found a mass on Sawyer. It would not be long until he was gone. She wanted photos to capture his unique spirit, before he passed.

In Beth’s grief journey, she made a bucket list for Sawyer and brazenly checked every goddamn thing off of it twice. So we set to making the bucket list part of the photo celebration of his life…

How to talk about death when no one else wants to

Death is natural, and having concerns about death is natural. What isn’t natural is entirely rejecting the reality of the human condition and refusing to talk about death.

This is a tough topic, but here are a few things that might be helpful…

Offbeat funerals: The right funeral is like the right wedding

No disrespect to the deceased or to bereaved family members and friends, whether I love them or not, but I just don’t see the point in a funeral. Do people really find comfort in funerals and I’m the only one that sees it as creepy? Does anyone know a better way to show support for family and friends?

My first time digging a grave (and why it hopefully won’t be my last)

Due to miscommunications, no one had requested that the hole be dug prior to the funeral. The caretaker said that we could pay for someone to dig the hole next Monday, or he had a posthole digger and some shovels in his car and we could dig it ourselves.

So began my first time digging a grave…

Why you should share your passwords with someone TODAY

Do you have an online life that’s larger than just email or facebook. Do you write fanfic, like me, and have a bunch of people waiting for your next chapter? Maybe you post advice in a forum on a hobby you love. Are you close to people who only know your pseudonym?

Here’s why you should write down and share your passwords to all your accounts TODAY…

How do you explain that your fur baby is more than “just a pet”?

I chose not to have human children and instead to have the four legged furry kind. A lot of people have a hard time understanding for me she is not just a pet she is FAMILY. Most of the time I can choose to ignore the people who say “it’s just a dog.” But, after losing my fur baby, I cannot ignore them anymore. How do I accept their caring when they don’t get it? How do I help them get it? Or should I even bother to try?

How have you held private and symbolic memorials?

My son didn’t want to go to his father’s funeral service. But I would like to do something with him, as some kind of remembrance and acknowledgement of loss. Can anyone think of a way for us to privately and symbolically observe an memorial for someone?