Posted bySaw this comic today and almost fell out of my chair:
Seeing this reminded me of my own experiences growing up, where try as I might I just couldn’t faze my parents…
I remember being a 21-year-old party girl in San Francisco, and my dad asking me very straight-forwardly about my recreational substance consumption, and me answering him very honestly. (It was, uh, A LOT at the time.)
My father looked thoughtful for a second and then said, “That’s a pretty heroic dosage of toxins. I hope you’re prioritizing sleep and eating well, too.”
I thought to myself, “…!! Fuck, there’s no way to get a rise outta this guy.” And stopped trying.
I posted this story on the Offbeat Families facebook page, and started getting some amazing comments that I just HAVE to share:
- When I told my mom that I lost my virginity (at 18) she said “well, it’s about time!” that’s when I gave up! 🙂
- All of my friends that it was weird that my mom was the one to help me dye my hair pink and purple at 15!
- My mom would say “is that Metallica dear, i really like that song” not what I wanted to hear when I was cranking metal trying to piss her off when I was 15. God Bless her!
- My mother very bluntly asked me if I liked boys or girls when I was about 19, and when I told her I hadn’t decided, I thought I might just like both, she just nodded and said “Well, no rush to decide. May as well make the best of it while you can!”
HA! I love these stories.
I wasn’t too rebellious (at least towards my parents, society.. different story) though I was/am offbeat for sure, and my AMAZING CONSERVATIVE mother (though just as offbeat and even more rebellious than me in her own ways) has always been game for the ride.
She didn’t bat an eye when I decided to “skip the college thing” and “be an artist” then proceeded to fill conversations with talk of Europe and Asia, busking for a living, and traveling/backpacking the earth, alone.
I’ve always shared with her anecdotes of my long time best friends’ adventures (alcohol, premarital sex, tattoos, weed, and one notable weekend in jail). Despite the fact that she’s “against” all these choices she’s always honestly welcoming and respectful of him, and has said on more than one occasion that she’s glad he’s in my life.
When I decided in a hormonally induced teenage strop to dye my hair a “natural” but brilliant flaming henna red, the woman who’s never touched a bottle of dye in her life helped me do it. Now she likes it so much she won’t let me dye it back *sighs*.
She excitedly and cheerfully helped me move out of her house and into a 12′ vintage travel trailer rigged to roll, knowing that the transient nature of it wasn’t a “gap year” thing but a lifestyle choice.
And then there were so, so, many random and “experimental” conversations about nearly every conceivable life choice over the years.
By the time I started seriously talking about getting a motorcycle to aid me in my life of travel and adventure I think she was almost bored.
What they say is true, rebelling against laid-back/respectful parents (no matter their personal ideals) is HARD.
I am definitely the liberal parent…raised by liberal parents as well! My first drink was at age 15, I rode up to the porch on my bike and my stepdad handed me a 7+7. I figured out real quick that 2 drinks is my limit, and I’ve stuck to that ever since. I know they were aware that I smoked pot, they just insisted that I keep it on the DL for my grandparents’ sake. They paid for my nose piercing and my 2nd tattoo as birthday gifts. I never rebelled because I never felt I needed to. 🙂 Recently, I developed some nerve pain that worsens at night, and my mom suggested smoking a joint to alleviate the pain so I could sleep. Bless her.
Now that I’m raising teens of my own, I pretty much let them know I’ve done it all and if they’re going to do it, be safe about it. Know your body/your limitations, set firm boundaries for yourself, and don’t drive. I told them they can call anytime, day or night, for a safe and sober ride home with no judgment or consequences. Of course my kids are (so far) squeaky-clean and one is going into the military. I just told her the other day, “You need to get in more trouble. Not too much, just a little. Don’t waste these years!” LOL!
The first time I smoked pot when I was 15 I didn’t react well. I got all out-of-body experience feeling and paranoid feeling. My friends were freaking out trying to calm me down but I just wanted to go home. I called my mom and said “Mom we got high and I don’t like it. Can you come get me?” And she came and picked me up, sent me to bed, and then in the morning she told me pot didn’t always make you feel that way and my real mistake as also drinking Budweiser.
When I came out to my mom (also at 15)as bisexual she said “Okay. You still have to empty the dishwasher.”
And lastly, when I went to a birthday party when I was 17 with two friends we drank. A lot. I told my mom before the party that we would be drinking because the birthday girls parents were buying the alcohol. She said “Okay. Make sure you stay at her house and don’t try to walk home. Call me when you’re ready to leave and I’ll pick all three of you up.”