Posted byIt’s been a while since I featured an offbeat DILF. I got some feedback from one reader who said the feature was “so wrong and trashy” and I got a little gun-shy. BUT! I just can’t stay away from the pictures of hottie dads, so despite some of you thinking this feature is “like Hooters for women,” here’s this week’s DILF, James!
Helen Jane explains, “Back when I was 22 , I wrote a list of exactly what I wanted out of a husband. Someone who would play guitar to our kids was number one on the list.” … Mission accomplished, HJ!
For a couple more shots of James, and a poll about whether I should keep featuring DILFs, keep reading!
And now I want to know what you think:
I love it. I think I need to submit my own hubby for this! 😉
but why arent his hooters out?! (love it, very clever btw:)
Oh come on guys! The term "MILF" is tossed around ALL THE TIME! Bring on the hot DILF'S! But yes…I agree…bring on the MILF's too!! Let's see some hot Mama's! Let's celebrate them all! 🙂
dad i'd like to 'friend' is brilliant. i think, if their partners are up for a group of off-beat women oogling their men then it's all good in the hood. some people might find it trashy, or be offended or whatever, but we're 'offbeat' right? some people are offended by many things, including same sex marriage, untraditional values and even non-white dresses…
If DILF ogling is wrong, I don't want to be right. Rawr, Mr. Hearn.
Amen!
I think Dads need to be celebrated! I love it.
I'm in no way offended by the term "DILF" (or offended by much of anything) and I think it's awesome to feature a great dad. BUT! I'm so in love and loyal with MY man that reading something titled "DILF" makes me feel a little uncomfortable. I'm not at all an uptight person but I think "Heeey, I don't want to f*ck that guy, I've no interest in other guys so I'm not gonna read that!" I'm not saying those who do want to read are not in love or loyal, I just have a hard time showing an interest in a guy that's labeled as a dad I want to f*ck.
But honestly, I don't enjoy "eye candy" because I don't really consider anyone "eye candy." There is no one hotter to me than my man and I'm actually divorced so I'm not trying to sound all high and mighty, just at this point in my life, I've no interest in DILF anything. But a great dad needs to be honored and I'd love to read about them. I'd personally prefer another, yet equally "offensive" in just a different way, term.
Second that one too :-D…. in fact, it is like Cara took what I was thinking and penned it perfectly!
Oops, I actually needed to edit my comment, kinda wanted to delete and start over but anyway.
I just now saw the "Friend" part and while that definitely makes me feel a lot better, I don't think my mind will ever not associate the F in DILF for Friend.
(But my man should totally be a DILF, ha ha).
Keep the DILFs coming and keep change the name! The naysayers have no sense of humor.
"keep change" lol. I meant "don't change."
I love the term and the idea . . . and seriously MILF is used all over the place without a second thought . . .here's to us using the term DILF to mean friend or **** and enjoying some harmless fun! Couldn't you see a DILF calendar created with Dad's and their kids and the $$ going towards some family charity/non profit that helps moms and dads raise kids? All in good fun, keep it up!
It makes me sad, as i am missing that in my life, but i think it is great that there are some DILF's out there. I love this category and would like to see more.
I agree with lots of things said by previous commenters. 1. It is a little heteronormative – certainly doesn't make room for featuring my partner, 2. I think the feature generally is a great way to include dads or partners, 3. I think the name leaves something to be desired (yes – MILF is a term bandied about all the time in our culture, but I personally find it a term that's, well, lacking to say the least. In this sense, I don't think it's super to use it for men, either). 4. I really like the idea of using the feature but using a name like "offbeat partners" or something similar that might be more inclusive to families in all of their forms.
i totally agree! offbeat partners or partner porn (pulling from the OBT vein) would be awesome! and give my hottie co-mommy (or someone else's) a chance to be celebrated!
I love it! I love that you're celebrating Dad's that rock. So often in our society Dad's aren't there for their babies and I think those Dads get too much attention. Maybe if we celebrate the amazingly, spectacular Dad's that kick ass more often we'd inspire some of the not so great ones to get off their duff's and be better. Plus the great ones deserve to be recognized!
As far as the name, I like whoever suggested DILF stand for "Dad's I'd Like to Friend." It's super cute and catchy. A MILF category would be PC but I think we get celebrated a lot… I mean come on.. they entire group is called OFF BEAT MAMAs. Let the good Dads have some attention and be appreciated. Maybe there should be a group called OFF BEAT PAPAs. =)
I just love that on the Offbeat sites concerns like this can be discussed in a respectful way, and that the people running the site join in on the discussions. It's these kinds of healthy debates that make this offbeat community so freaking awesome:) Thanks everyone!
I’ve rethought my objection to the ILF bit – I wrote before I really thought it over. But how about PILF? (then it can be partners and/or papa’s). Just a thought…
It's not as if the pictures are even nude, much less sexually explicit. There's always going to be a minority who will feel a wrongness about *anything* about sex, but I think the poll is speaking pretty loudly that most of us don't feel any exploitation is happening here.
I get something different out of this feature; hope. My 9 month old daughter and I are alone; her father and I barely dated, and he's not a part of our lives. I haven't been with anyone in more than a year, and I'm in no emotional shape to date right now, so it will be a while. I get lonely of course, but more than that I get so sad that my daughter doesn't have another parent to count on.
I like looking at these dads and imagining what might be someday.
I find the term DILF a little tacky – and funny as heck! I feel the same way about MILF.
Sex is usually am uncomfortable topic for people, even me, and I used to sell sex toys and teach sexual health education to teenagers! But I think a little tongue in cheek amusement is great, and keeps us from getting too serious and cynical.
I think it's a great reminder that our guys aren't the only hotties out there who have their shit together and take great care of their kids!
It never occurred to me that DILF might be offensive until I was referred to as a MILF. I didn't like it! Not in a cognitive thoughtful kind of way but in a visceral yucky vomity kind of way. Being called a MILF made me feel gross! Do dads feel that way? Perhaps this is my own personal issue that I need to overcome. Or perhaps it was the context of MILF comment. Regardless, I thoroughly enjoy reading about sweet and good dads.
Papa porn? Partner porn? Somehow seems less offensive than DILF.
Oh you know I love DILF and tongue in cheekiness. And my hubby is SUCH a DILF ( obviously).
Thanks so much to everyone for chiming in! I really appreciate the dialog on this issue.
So first, as for the whole MILFs vs. DILFs thing, I feature MILFs on the site pretty much every day! I mean helloooooo: http://offbeatmama.com/2010/03/hawaii-maternity-p… 🙂
As far as the dirty connotation of the "F" in DILF, think of it as sort of like Wedding Porn: a little provocative, a little trashy, and a little bit of reclamation. Come to think of it, if OBB had launched with as many readers as OBM launched with, I'm sure the "Wedding Porn" name would have met with a LOT of resistance!
For those of you who feel squeamish about the F, or think that it perhaps winks more directly at adultery than you'd like to think about, I love the idea of the F standing for FRIEND. Dads I'd like to FRIEND. Yes, that's exactly it!
So, while the proof is in the pudding (with 95% of you in the "I love it" category) I really appreciate each of you taking the time to share your thoughts with me on the issue. Offbeat Mama is still very much finding its voice (I suppose mirroring my own progress as I find my own voice and identity as a mother) and while I'm clear the site is ultimately mine to do with as I please (insert evil cackling here) I love the discussions I can have with y'all about how things are going.
This is all to say …. THANK YOU!!!
So not offensive!!! I love the cheekiness of it, and the pictures of the fathers so obviously in love with their children. I say KEEP!
Comparing Offbeat DILFs to Hooters girls… that's a big stretch. Hooters girls are valued for their semi-nude bodies and "F"-ability. And they get points subtracted for having brains or substance. What we are admiring in these DILFs is firstly, their dedication to their children and to being a father, and then maybe their sense of style and a cute face! That isn't the most offensive thing in the world. They aren't just a piece of meat!