Queer Parenting for Heteros (and anyone else who wants to teach kids that being queer is awesome)
Well, a lot has been said and written about queer parenting in recent years, but most of this commentary ignores the opportunity to actually engage queer theory and instead simply equates queer parenting with LGBT people raising children. But what happens when we attempt to apply the insights of queer theory to our relationships with children?
Beautiful Freak: The Eels, my daughter, and me
[My daughter] Schuyler has always loved music, which is no surprise given that she’s been surrounded by it from day one, and I’ve always sung to her. The other day, we were singing an Eels song, Beautiful Freak. “Daddy,” she asks, “Am I a freak?”
Finding the difference between being amused by your kids vs. laughing at them
I think a lot of parents have those “I swear I will NEVER do that to my child” rules and this has always been one of those concerns for me. My experience of exclusion and embarrassment has made me want to treat every child I come in contact with as an equal.
It took me 18 months to fall in love with my daughter
It took me one and a half years to fall in love with my daughter. There’s no deadline, I know, but I thought I would fall in love with her right away. It was like that for my partner — she fell in love at first sight.
On liberating ourselves from worrying about our kids
My kids are perfect the way they are. Every parent says this — well, maybe not every, but enough. We might even believe it when we say it (or a part of us does). But the same parent worries, too: my children aren’t getting enough to really develop into their full potential. I’m not doing enough to give them the best start in life.
Honesty and kids: just because you told the truth doesn’t mean they will
Honesty is the best policy. I truly believe that. I am like Honest Abe Lincoln who, when confronted about chopping down the cherry tree, shouted “Give me liberty or give me death and I’m really sorry about the tree but Babe the Blue Ox told me to do it!” Growing up, I may have kept things from my mother but I only really lied to her once.
On making the choice to connect, again and again, with my kids
This morning was a rough one. You know the kind where everyone is cranky and just can’t seem to shake the yuckies? The kind of day where everything spirals down down down and you find yourself acting in ways you wish you wouldn’t — yelling, blaming, threatening. Yeah, we had one of those.
What an overstimulated mom, empathetic toddler, and the Care Bears have it common
I get overstimulated easily. It sucks, but it’s not the worst thing in the world. Usually I just need to take breaks from whatever we’re doing and have some quiet time, then I can return refreshed and ready to tolerate some more chaos. Sometime though, I get stimulated past my breaking point and I freak out. The big freakouts luckily only happen a few times a year, but I had one recently.