Category Archive

Families

Our sister site Offbeat Mama launched in 2009, became Offbeat Families in 2012, and was merged into Offbeat Home & Life in 2015. This archive contains all the posts ever published on those sites! We believe that while children change your life forever, being around kids doesn’t necessitate abandoning your identity. We believe in supporting and inspiring parents and caregivers who are moving beyond mainstream visions of parenting. We welcome anyone who’s interested in families, whether you’re pre-parental, in the process of becoming a parent, or choosing to live childfree.

Why this feminist mom is okay raising a princess

I feel like there’s a certain trend in feminist parenting where we totally support little boys wearing dresses and sparkles… but cringe a bit inside when a little girl wants to do it. Feminism and Queer-positive parenting is supposed to be about choice, and that sometimes sometimes includes the choice to explore the identities of princess or a sparkly fairy.

“I still feel angry and betrayed by my body”: When breastfeeding doesn’t go as you planned

At six months my son bit me while I was trying to nurse him on a plane, and I nearly threw him onto my husband’s lap and said, “That’s it, I am done.” I went exclusively to pumping and supplemented with formula. To this day, nearly three years later, I still feel angry and betrayed by my body.

I really want all new moms to know that for some breastfeeding comes naturally. For others it is the most difficult, frustrating, and demoralizing experience in their lives. That coupled with sleep deprivation, postpartum depression, and life in general, and you can find yourself in an awful place emotionally, mentally, and physically…

plus size pregnancy

“It must be twins!” Having a positive plus size pregnancy

I’ve heard of horrible things my non-plus size girlfriends have gone through while pregnant. And while I’m aware that every pregnant lady gets unwanted comments thrown their way, it seems like those directed at plus-size pregnant ladies is wildly different. Some of the comments can even make you feel like, well, like you’ve done something wrong, or that your body is wrong.

But I did have some amazing people around me while I was pregnant. And in case you don’t, I want you to hear what I heard…

Are there ways you can strengthen a relationship, pre-baby?

We’ve talked about ways you can get your body ready for pregnancy… And we’ve talked about ways you can get yourself ready for a baby… But we haven’t yet talked about how you can get your relationship ready for a baby!

What are some of the ways you went about getting your relationship ready for a baby?

Mothering without a mom: I worry that my mom abandoning me will negatively affect me as a mom

There seems to be a lack of discussion in the world around women who are disowned or cut off from their mothers. The only literature I can find is surrounding the death of a parent and, this is so so different…

I have a mom. She is alive and well. She doesn’t live far from me. But she considers me to be “dead,” and wishes I could just forget she ever existed.

Now I’m pregnant, and the “mom stuff,” as I call it, comes up frequently…

Balance for working parents in emotionally demanding jobs

After a particularly difficult day at work, I snapped at my 3-year-old over something minor that totally didn’t warrant such an overreaction. As I registered the hurt in her eyes, I realized what had happened — I had given so much of my patience to my students that day, there was none left for my own child when she needed it. After a good long cry and some consolation ice cream (for both of us), I knew I needed to start being more intentional about my work/life balance if I didn’t want my psyche to implode like a dying star of stress and guilt.

These are a few of the strategies I’ve put in place to preserve my sanity and ensure that everyone in my life—myself included—gets the care they deserve.

Learning to cope with a parent in prison

My mom went to prison for drugs, the first time, when I was seven years old. When my mom was arrested again, five weeks before my wedding, everything came crashing down on me.

I feel like it’s something that’s so taboo to talk about, even though (according to the US Bureau of Justice) over 2.2 million people were incarcerated in 2013. That’s a big, big number for something that isn’t regularly being talked about…

Mama, why are you fat?: Teaching kids about different bodies

Growing up, I was teased all the time about my weight, and it affected me profoundly. I was almost 30 before I reached a place where I could just inhabit my body without seeing it as a problem. I decided that I didn’t want to view my own skin as an enemy. And I certainly don’t want my children growing up thinking that everyone should look like people in magazines, or that we should all just be miserable with our physical bodies because they aren’t “perfect.”

We all fight this fight, and we probably all want a better world for our children to have bodies in. How do we make that happen?