I had a post-divorce “freedom session” on my would-be wedding anniversary
How does a wedding planner/photographer celebrate her divorce? She drinks her way through Champagne, France, and has a Freedom Session photo shoot.
3 secrets for learning the language of money in relationships
It’s no secret that one the most contentious issues in many relationships is money. It truly does make the world — and our lives — go ’round. Money also doesn’t discriminate as to who its issues affect; it influences partnerships between people of any age, race, gender, background, or income level. I’m by no means an expert on relationships or money, as I’m sure Dr. Phil and Suze Orman could tell quickly given the chance. But I am someone who’s had to examine her own financial values in the context of her relationship. I’ve had to work with my husband to cultivate shared ideas and practices for our life together. The following tenets are a product of my six years of learning, compromise, and growth…
7 things I have learned about relationships (since my divorce)
It has been interesting, over the last two years or so, to be an outsider in the relationship world. The dust has settled on my divorce, I have had time to reflect on things, and it is so much easier to see certain situations from an emotionally detached vantage point.
Being fat isn’t a sex-life death sentence: how to be body positive in the bedroom
Confession: I was a covers-pulled-up-to-my-chin, lights-off, minimize-jiggling-however-possible lover. I hated my nude body. I used to think somehow that if my partner couldn’t see the parts of me that I didn’t like, (s)he’d magically not know about them. Then, I met a partner who finally called me out on it. That’s the moment I had my great epiphany: Being fat isn’t automatically a sex-life death sentence; it’s SO possible to have mind-blowing sex and be overweight
4 secrets for surviving a long-distance friendship
This March, my best friend packed up her life in Massachusetts, and she, her husband, and their two dogs set off on an adventure to Hawaii. So what do you do when one of your besties moves 5,000 miles away? It took a little while, but over the past several months we’ve figured out some ways to stay connected.
“He’s not my husband, he’s her husband, but we all really want a loan together”: Life as a long-term polyamorist
I have been following the recent stories on polyamorous relationships, both on Offbeat Home and elsewhere, and saying a silent “hallelujah.” I’ve been in a polyfidelitous triad (like a marriage but with three people) for thirteen years, but have never found the strength or the venue to start a larger conversation about long-term polyamorist relationships. But given how long the three of us have been together, I feel like I can offer some useful tidbits of advice and some observations on living a life that exists on the fringes but still in the mainstream.
How to share BDSM with a vanilla partner
I wanted my man to be assertive and to take charge. I wanted to be swept off my feet by our romantic encounters. Malik, however, is a sub. He wanted me to take charge. He wanted me to be commanding, to dominate him. I had no experience with that whatsoever. He wanted to be paddled, blindfolded, gagged. And he wanted to do all of this with me. If your partner wants you to try something new, be it anal play, bondage, role play, ice cubes, or anything else, here are a few tips I learned from exploring the world of BDSM as a vanilla partner.
Conservative family vs. liberal partner: How do you make it work?
It’s 2015, so a liberal Filipino woman dating a white conservative man isn’t so unusual. And our relationship is amazing. Except… while my family has welcomed the man I love with open arms, his family keeps their arms shut. Normally I wouldn’t be too concerned with whether or not people like me. But it’s different when you’re talking about the parents of the man you’re dating.