Living in the home your partner owns: “Welcome to the secret society of imposter syndrome ‘housewives'”
I’m definitely beyond excited and happy to be living with with my partner. But, I find that I’m struggling with living with someone who owns their own house for a lot of reasons…
Gifts for a friend going through a divorce, separation, or break-up
The first few weeks of a separation can be fucking intense. The grief, the loss, even a sense of physical pain… it’s weird that something so common is so awful! Offering your ear is the most important thing you can give to any friend experiencing a profound loss or recovering from a trauma, but we get it: sometimes you want to give something more to offer your comfort. Of course you know your friend and their interests best, but here are our suggestions for great gifts for grieving friends.
How to identify and remove toxic people from your life in 3 steps
Pruning negative, toxic people from your garden of friends and family is essential, basic self-care, and never something you should feel bad about doing. But how do you know if someone is truly toxic, and not just having a bad moment? When do you know when it’s time to finally cut ties, and how do you go about it? Here’s how I do it…
Being The Backup: The one who gets the text when no one else is available
If someone is constantly telling you how much they miss you, but finds time weekly to spend with other people they just met, can’t find time for coffee, lunch, a quickie — ANYTHING with you — then it’s clear how much you and your time actually means to them. You aren’t even really a friend to them let alone a lover. Finally, it becomes clear: You are The Backup. You are who they go to when nobody else is available. So, fellow Backups, what are we supposed to do? Should we just smile and be happy that someone wants us, even if we are their last possible choice?
How do you have adult time when living in a small space with a kid?
My partner and I just moved into a 600-square-foot cottage with our one-year-old. Although there’s technically a separate bedroom, the wall doesn’t go all the way to the ceiling. So it may as we’ll be a studio for sound purposes. Is there a magic equation for living in a small space with a kid? Will we ever have sex again? And what can I do when I just really, really need some personal space?
Why is it still socially un-acceptable to discuss your personal financial security as a married woman?
I’ve had two conversations in the past couple months that have set off a bit of a lightbulb in my brain when I realized that it still isn’t socially acceptable to discuss your personal financial security as a married woman. I will tell you why that’s not cool. (Beware of gendered language ahead…)
How to communicate with your partner when you’re bad at expressing yourself
I’m bad at communication (like really, really bad). Even if I can bring up the courage to talk to someone I never know exactly what to say and I struggle to figure out how to express what I’m feeling. That’s when I started to write letters to my partner.
Becoming a wife and mother: What’s going to happen to my identity?
The kind of questions my husband and I get are totally different. People ask him, “Are you ready to lose your freedom?” while people ask me, “Are you ready to be a mother?” Maybe it’s just the way these jokes and comments and questions stacked up, but it doesn’t feel like I can just “lighten up.” Any confidence I had in myself to ignore what people were saying quickly dissipated, and one of my newest and biggest worries was born.
As I grow in my relationship with my husband and future family, what’s going to happen to my identity?