I have a super-short attention span and I suck at getting work done on anyone else’s timetable. Or any timetable. Or… at all. And I tend to start a multitude of things and never finish them. And I’m notoriously and comically forgetful. (That “baskets!” moment? That would take me years to remember… or to remember that I remembered it.) I also tend to totally tune out huge parts of the universe. Once that dirty mug has been there more than a few days — it is gone. It is 100% INVISIBLE. “Hey, hon, could you get the dirty dishes from the den?” “Uh… what dirty dishes?” “Uh…” “Oh!” *picks up sole spoon from the middle of the pile*
So me and housework, planning, organizing, and housework have this love/forget relationship… But stuff has to get done somehow. Here’s what I have figured out…
Write lists
General lists:
Write ALL OF THE LISTS. Make long-term and short-term lists. Some of them are only wishful thinking lists. Just having the lists in existence can be useful. It means that if I hit a good focus day, I have something to refer back to.
Give them titles:
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- “Jobs I will never, ever get done but it would totally be awesome if it did.”
- “Jobs that might happen when I have an overachieving, organized, unemployed friend over for the afternoon/weekend/fortnight.”
- “Jobs I have to do right now before decomposition causes spontaneous combustion in my bedroom.”
- “Jobs I want to get done today.”
- “Jobs I should be able to get done today that will probably not get done today.”
- “Jobs that I should do to prevent my partner from experiencing spontaneous combustion in the bedroom.”
Designate “active” and “passive” lists:
Active lists tend to be items with a specific deadline, or which are regular to-do items. Passive lists tend to be long-term and eventual items and can include wishful thinking.
Specific notes:
When making lists, I think often of Haroun Khalifa, a character from a Salman Rushdie story, who, after a traumatic event, could only focus on anything for exactly eleven minutes. That’s me! And eleven is erring on the high side.
So I break tasks down into little pieces. Really little pieces. Maybe even smaller than most would consider manageable:
- Throw away trash.
- Gather unattended bits of paper into grocery bag.
- Gather aluminum cans into a grocery bag.
- Place bag full of cans into recycling bin.
- Remember #1, and then place papers into recycling bin.
Mark down your accomplishments, even the tiny ones.
Put checkboxes next to your “to-do” items. Check the boxes as you accomplish stuff. This not only helps foster that sense of accomplishment (which, for me, often encourages further progress), it also prevents you from forgetting that you did a task and doing it over again, or worse, finding out that it was already done and getting thrown off course.
If checking off a task feels like its own reward, make it a bonus reward by allowing yourself to check off tasks with different coloured pens, or marking the “done” boxes with little stickers. For big jobs you could/can even draw little pictures in the check box or arrange a points system. (This is probably really good for kids. I’m pretty much a kid and it works for me. People with kids, may it serve you well.)
Write schedules
Schedules have been the most surprisingly useful thing for me, particularly when I have work-at-home-deadlines that I have to follow. (Oh how I hate project deadlines. All they make me want to do is work on anything else.)
You just have to remember that you’re making a schedule for YOU. Not for Kryten (who has “drudgework” in his basic programming), or Lulu down the road who has coordinating doilies and placemats. So, when you write up your schedule, try to be very forgiving, mindful of your needs and limitations, and for goodness sake, schedule yourself breaks. Lots of them if necessary.
Give yourself permission to achieve only part of your goals. Remember the “jobs in small pieces” bit from the section above? That applies here. You can schedule yourself down to five minute increments if that will help
Write EVERYTHING on your schedule: Breaks, random jobs, everything.
- 11:00-11:15 AM: Write schedule, drink morning tea. (Look, you can check these things off already!)
- 11:15-11:20: Wash breakfast things, boil water for 2nd pot of tea.
- 11:20-11:30: Pour tea, Locate broom and garbage bags.
- 11:30-11:40 Start laundry
- 11:40-12:00 Sweep kitchen.
- 12:00-12:15 Mess around on the internet, drink more tea.
- 12:15-12:45 Fill out {x} paperwork.
- 12:45-1:00 Switch laundry, start second load.
- 1:00-1:30 Free Play (Productive tasks only)
- 1:30-1:40: Switch laundry again.
Other ADD-hacks:
Does listening to music help? Get a good pair of headphones, or ear buds if you swing that way. In my experience, music plugged directly into your head blocks out more distractions and therefore works better than ambient noise.
Try to be aware of your focus levels. I can tell a bad focus day because I do things like filling two different teapots at the same time, or turning on my iron and walking away from it until the “you left me on!” buzzer goes off. Don’t try to do too much work when you know you are having a “bad focus day.”
Buddy up. Find a friend or partner who is aware of your behaviour patterns and can (compassionately) help keep you on task. Already have a buddy? Treat them well. Buy them pizza, or sushi, or a hat. (You know, next time the memory train rolls by that way.)
And don’t forget to give yourself an “A” for effort. Every time you finish a task or remember something important, THAT is an accomplishment. You’re awesome.
Good.
I am not a housework hero. I still wander off in the middle of tasks, or forget them completely, or walk into a disgustingly messy room that is arse-deep in dirty socks, and then alphabetize the knickknack shelf by color. (Oh yes. This has totally happened.) And these are just tips to add to the arsenal you probably already have.
What are YOUR tips for cleaning when you have ADD?
PS: If you loved this post be sure to check out:
- How I learned to stop worrying and love the domestic arts
- “Unfucking” your habitat together: 5 ways to get your partner to help clean house
- 5 ways to cope with hoarding
Is it too gratuitous ot say that i LOVE LOVE LOVELOVELOVELOVE LOVE the fact that people tend to bring all kinds of relevant science and research to the table in the comments? It’s awesome.
I had a pretty severe car accident years ago…actually, I was t-boned by a dump truck. No big whoop, really. 😉
The most severe injury I had was a traumatic brain injury, so needless today, I can relate to much of this! In the last year, I got married and bought a home with my sweetie. It’s been a long, long road for me, and living in a big home with another person and three dogs has been challenging in a lot of ways!
I have people to help me with a lot of things, from organizing, to making my home functional for me physically. I find this post helpful, and I’d like to add a few points…
Having a space be functional for me physically has also helped me be far more organized. We recently had a laundry room built on the main floor. The storage, folding table, shelf height, etc, has made doing laundry SO much easier, and therefore something that I don’t avoid. While it is a physical issue for me, functional spaces also help people who are disorganized in that things become logical. I can’t believe that I’m going to admit it…I actually enjoy doing laundry now., and I complete the task start to finish. Who knew!
I too make lists in the morning. Often it’s just in my head, goal setting. “Today I want to…” I have learned that setting realistic goals is important. Also, not setting too many. If I have too many expectations of myself, I get overwhelmed and do nothing. It’s silly, and a vicious circle, but so it goes. If I have two or three goals planned, I can accomplish them fairly easily, then look back on my day and say to myself “that was a productive day!”
External pressures are a tricky thing in that it causes so many people, I think women especially, put such high expectations on ourselves. My friends who do not have ADD or head injuries still relate to these things. I’m sure many do!
I also have a brain injury, and while I don’t have the physical things you’re speaking of, I do have cognitive problems as a result. People like myself have ADD-like symptoms; I also have epilepsy and take medication for it that works by slowing down the brain–making it even harder to focus/stay on task/process information. This thread’s given me some great ideas. I’m a huge proponent of Lists and Sub-Lists (groan…)–but thank you for your idea of putting just two or three items on my list-I too am easily overwhelmed by it all. Someone upthread mentioned Habitica (https://habitica.com/static/), which is supposed to help one form habits. I think I’ll give that a try, along with the one chore index cards, and see if that helps manage life a little better.
My mister is undiagnosed ADD, but poster child (adult?) for it anyway. I’m not ADD, but I have chronic pain and such, which a lot of these tips are also good for managing that.
I am the list maker anyway, but what we have figured out works is that even on my worst days, I can add stuff to a list and check them off. So I’m in charge of the white board, which has our schedule, meal plan, and to-do lists on it. (Not trying to pimp my blog, but my name links there and you can see pictures if it suits you.) I have a master list on Toodledo that I can access on my phone, but the one he sees on the white board is the short, prioritized list that we’ve scheduled together according to our plans for the week. Not the one with 300+ tasks in it.
We have figured out that having a House Chore to do every day really helps keep the mister on track. He knows there is always a chore to do, the only question is which one, so there’s a bit of routine there. Plus it means that if the day comes to do a chore and we are otherwise busy or having a bad day, it doesn’t take much to get caught up–or at worst if it gets skipped entirely, it’s probably not for more than a week.
Where I struggle is not being able to recognize (and neither can he) when the Good Focus Days are and the Bad Focus Days. As an outsider I’d like to be better able to identify them so I can be more compassionate instead of annoyed, but I’d also like him to be more aware so he can help manage his own coping mechanisms–even if the best he can do is SAY, “I can’t focus today.” I don’t mind reminding him to check timers and checking in every little while to see that he’s on task, but I have to know to do that.
One thing I also found helped him: setting realistic expectations about how long things should take and how long has has to do them. In one regard, our lives getting busier actually helped with this. It was taking 3 hours to clean the two bathrooms, and they were only getting half done. I know some of that was taking breaks, getting distracted while changing music, etc. But some of it was doing things out of order even so that he had to sweep the floor three times, for example. So I made a list of the things you need to do to clean the bathroom, in the order you need to do them, and we agreed on a 30 minute limit for each bathroom. Most days he finishes them both in 45 minutes, but at least if it’s a bad day it’s not much more than an hour (and if I’m having a good day and can help, it’s closer to 30 minutes for both). I’m happy it’s not taking 3 hours, we’re both happy he’s being more efficient, and now he gets to read Facebook in a nice comfy chair rather than sitting on the edge of the tub. He doesn’t even use the list anymore, but it’s there if he needs it.
Kitchen cleaning day is the same, we have a list of everything to do, in order. He’s not so great at getting it done in order, but it’s there to reference when he gets off track. The white board has a list of things that get done every week that day, plus room for a couple “projects” like laundry day and food prep day (which shift according to work schedule), and heavy yard work day or change central air filters which come up less often. Seeing it all spread out makes us both feel like it’s not so big, and it also helps me make sure I’m not overloading one day. If he has a long shift or if the day is just packed as full as it can get, I put an X in the to-do list for the day–NO MORE STUFF can be added! Bonus, if it comes down to realizing that everything won’t get done, we can easily move them around, and he LOVES the feeling of accomplishment of erasing tasks when they’re done.
Thank you so much for writing this.
I am not diagnosed ADD, but have a hard time concentrating on jobs, and / or keeping my home(s) clean. At some point I got so desperate that I actually googled ‘how to get my home clean’ or at least something like that. I happened onto flylady.net. It’s been a blessing for me because this person says exactly that: list the jobs that need doing, put check boxes, put the lists in a plastic document protector. Then use a dry erase marker to check the boxes off, and when you need to get back to these jobs, wipe it clean… This has really helped me. And YES: she even has you make a list of things to do when you get up in the morning (shower, brush your teeth, get dressed,…) That is one I’ve never needed though.
This and using a timer and concentrting on doing ONE thing for three minutes at a time.
That said, I don’t always agree with the rest of the things FlyLady and her team preach (the GOD stuff, and the homemaker-focus don’t fit my life very well) but I do profit from the ‘Crisis Cleaning 101 podcast’ 😀
I’ve been diagnosed with ADD but I’m not on medication for it. I am on medication for anxiety, and when I’m in freak out mode, NOTHING gets done! Thank you so much for this post, I will start making lists to make my life easier.
My diagnosis is dyspraxia and, again, identify with so much in this article – thanks you!! I’ve got the lists of lists. I get frustrated when I’m tidying and I know it won’t be Homes and Gardens-perfect when I’m finished and loose motivation. A huge declutter took place at the weekend, my lovely man-friend helped me – a ‘buddy’ often works and helped when I was writing essays for Uni years ago – even if they were just pottering around in the background, making sure I was working! I used to keep a basket at the bottom of the stairs for things that would go with me when I went up next time but that soon overspilled as I forgot each time I went past it. With a clean slate I’m going to try again – the inside of my door is also a blackboard to maybe a massive arrow will help!
I need to get a filing systems in place – that’s my fella’s next project with me! – as I’m self-employed for part of my work, and hopefully for more very soon!
I also have too much stuff – craft stuff, clothes, etc. and if it’s not on display I forget I own it and it lives in a drawer for months so I have lots of things – vintage china, clothes, etc. – out, to the point that it becomes invisible anyway!
I’d love to try a seasonal approach and make over my house every so often with stuff I love and store away for the rest of the year, keeping it fresh and rotated without having to permanently get rid of it.
Thank you, this article is something I’ve been hoping to find on here since I found it.
How did you get in my head? This resonates so completely with me. Definitely did the dishes last night at 11:45 pm under “Jobs that I should do to prevent my partner from experiencing spontaneous combustion.” Meant to do them about 6 hours earlier, but my kitchen was cold, so I made some tea. Then while the tea was steeping I somehow began a Downton Abbey marathon, which led to searching the internet for springtime dessert recipes. Lemon Ricotta cookies anyone?
hahahahaha….haha….ha…this is so refreshing!!! I am so the same. This week I have gone into an organizational mania and have “organizational projects” going in every square inch of the house, which means everything is all over the place. Somebody dropping by would never guess in a million years that what I am doing is organizing. The last time I had the bug to go on such an organizational binge was 7 years ago, so I have to strike while the iron’s hot. I just hope I finish, because otherwise…disaster for the next 7 years….
THANK YOU from a mom with a child who has been diagnosed with ADD. Although he is medicated, I am absolutely determined to give him the tools to manage his life as he grows. We’re still learning, as the diagnosis is less than a year old, and we’ve had as many successes as misses, but… I like some of the ideas I’ve read here. Love the list idea, agree with the scheduling (which is massively hard for me, because I’m not a scheduler, and he’s going to have to be, I think), and I am TOTALLY stealing the Points System… My Boy is a gamer wanna-be, you see, and I suspect that the idea of earning points for his chores, and having silly little prizes that go with the points and bonuses will get him moving and he won’t even realize he’s learning!
So thank you all for the great stuff.
I have self-diagnosed myself with ADD and this is me to a T! If only I could get myself to write these detailed lists more often..I’d rule the world!
I literally could have written this! It makes me feel so much better about how far I’ve come managing my ADD. There is only a couple things I feel like I can add. One is to write your do to list the night before. In the morning I’m not awake enough and I feel overwhelmed trying to remember everything I need to do. It’s nice to wake up and know you have a list detailing the day ahead! Also write your lists on your phone! I ALWAYS lose or forget paper notes. Evernote is a good app and you still have the ability to use the satisfying check mark. I have my grocery list, to do list, cleaning list, packing list and more wherever I am!
My son and I both have ADD, while my husband and daughter both have ADHD. Needless to say, we live in a constant state of chaos. My husband is amazing at keeping everyone on task, (when the mood strikes him). He’s like my housekeeping babysitter. I can’t sit down and take a break if he’s still working. Even when he’s outside doing yard work, I still feel motivated to stay on task so I have something to show for my part of the households duties. And my kids know he’s gonna check on their progress a lot more frequently than I do. However, those days usually only come around one in a while, and that’s just when he’s home. He’s in the army, so between deployments, unaccompanied tours, and various schools, classes, and FTX’s, he’s literally only home half the time. But fortunately he knows us well enough to never expect the house to be clean when he comes home, and that at the very least, there will be a sink full of dishes waiting for him to clean (but he loves us anyway)
We tried living the unmedicated life for 12 years, but when our son got into middle school and nothing seemed to help him with school, and our daughter was starting to struggle with getting school work done for the first time in her life, we decided to all get on medication. It’s been 2 years on the medication now, and the kids are thriving. My son is a freshman in high school, and getting straight As for the first time in his life. While my daughter is in 6th grade and taking all pre AP classes AND getting straight As. However, the house is still a disaster. These are some excellent tips. We will definitely have to try the simple lists!!!
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Currently unmediated due to pregnancy and lists are my life. We need to find that sense of accomplishment that most people get naturally somewhere otherwise our brains are ‘what’s the fucking point?’ Checking off an item on a list works wonders for me. Even if the first item was ‘1. Write list’ … … …..