My ex and I are amicably co-parenting a year after a contentious divorce
Connecticut mandates that all couples with children who are seeking a divorce attend a series of parenting classes (not together, thank GOD.) The classes are intended to offer advice for co-parenting post-divorce. These classes were long. And often boring. And filled with a lot of “Well, duh” information. But I learned a few good tips that I assumed I would never use because I was certain we would never be able to effectively co-parent.
How do we tell our toddler that we’re breaking up?
My partner of 9 years and I recently made the amicable decision to end our relationship. Though the split hasn’t been easy on either one of us, we are devoted to our almost-three-year-old daughter and are adamant on cultivating a healthy environment moving forward so that she may continue to thrive as we continue to co-parent her in separate homes.
Single parenthood by choice: I adopted a child after ending my 15-year marriage
Most days as I push our stroller up a hill loaded with my son and a week’s supply of groceries and feel the muscles in my arms and legs working, I am reminded of the total body workouts I used to enjoy at my local gym. Not that long ago I lived a very different life — one that included a husband, a charming little house that we owned on a tree-lined street, a fulfilling full time job, a fun fashion part time job, volunteer work as a board of director for two companies, four weekly gym workouts and a circle of friends for dinner parties or BBQs and occasional travel.
How do you celebrate your kid’s birthdays together when divorced grandparents don’t get along?
I’m the product of divorced parents who are happily remarried, but that don’t get along well with one another. Now that my husband and I have brought our three families’ first grandbaby in the world, I’m wondering how we’re going to handle birthdays and other celebrations when two sets of grandparents don’t jive.
The bright side to a “broken” home
As co-parents we have established a new type of relationship between us and the boys have settled into their schedules. Both of us are now in committed relationships, so new parental figures and extended families have been added to the mix. While we don’t aim to all vacation together or live next door to each other, we can truthfully attest to life and happiness as amicable dual households. Even still, we hit rough patches. It’s hard not to blame every temper tantrum on the transitioning between places or question if your kids are somewhat permanently scarred.
My husband and I are divorcing and sharing custody of the kids, fruiting plants, and the chickens
So on our division of assets list when we thought we were nearly done last night, he asked me if we should list the plants. I said, “Just list fruiting plants and chickens — joint custody.” He looked at me for a moment. We just argued over folding chairs and now I say this? He burst out laughing, and so did his family when we told them.
What are your favorite children’s books that talk about being a single parent household?
My husband is leaving me and our almost-two-year-old daughter. I’ve made sure not to badmouth him in front of her and try to keep all conversations about it to a minimum when she’s around, but I know that eventually, she’ll figure out that many of her friends have two-parent households and ours does not.
Four things that help my ex and I happily co-parent
We are both kids from divorced families, and we both realized that we should both be equally and amiably involved in our daughter’s life to raise a happy and secure child as best we could with the circumstances. We take her to dinner together a few times a month, spend holidays together, and try to make sure she knows that even though we are in two separate houses, we are still a family and still her mommy and daddy.