I’m shamefully addicted to my computer. I’d like to say it is mostly to stay in touch with the friends and family that I recently moved 1000 miles away from, but it started long before that. In fact, I put off getting a smart phone until this past year because I was well aware that I could never go back. True to my fears, I don’t hesitate to check it every time it dings for an email or Facebook notification. I spend way more time on the internet than I would like to admit.
And television? I like to say I don’t let my daughter watch too much television. I used to never put it on, but recently she has fallen in love with Mickey Mouse (who she calls “Hot dog,” due to the song they sing). Now she watches an episode every two or three days. Unfortunately, just because she doesn’t watch cartoons doesn’t mean the television isn’t on. I watch about an hour a day while she plays with her toys or naps. Though she doesn’t pay attention, she has to be aware. We live in the same house as my parents, and there is a constant stream of the news or some Law & Order show coming from the second living room where my retired stepfather sits. Though I hate to admit it, she is constantly exposed to media.
A few weeks ago I watched as my 20-month-old daughter “cooked” at her pretend kitchen while I was making dinner. She then proceeded to bring her baby doll to the rocking chair and “read” her a book, the exact same way that I do. She gave the baby a kiss, tucked her in, and said, “Night night!” I thought to myself, “My god, this child pays attention to everything I do.”
Although I was happy to see that she chose some really nice things that I do to imitate, it made me wonder what things I wouldn’t want her to mimic. I try to censor my poor language. I do my best not to talk about my weight and to only emphasize the good things that my body does. I involve her in many of my day-to-day activities so that she sees what I do and also feels like she is helping. In the back of my head there was that nagging guilt of having her see my daily media use. Is it the worst thing in the world? No. But would I want a teenage version of her spending as much time attached to a screen as I do? Absolutely not.
While I’m not quite ready to give it up altogether, I decided to make a change in my habits at least once a week. I started No Media Mondays in our house. This is a day once a week that we completely unplug. My computer is never opened, the TV stays off, and though I keep my phone on me for safety reasons, I don’t use it for anything other than that. Even my car radio is turned off and replaced by my terrible singing voice or just talking. It was a scary prospect. You really don’t think about the time that you spend — five minutes here, 10 minutes there — using electronics. A day without media doesn’t seem totally overwhelming, but when faced with the actual reality of it, it seemed uncomfortable.
You know what? It wasn’t as hard as I thought. Although I generally spend a lot of time playing with my daughter, this is a day that I do nothing else. When we keep busy, the days fly by. We’ve gone hiking and I slow down to her speed. I see so much more that way. I used to get a little exasperated that she would stop every few seconds, but when I really stopped to see what she saw, it was worth the extra time. We dance and play in the rain. Now whenever it rains she darts to the door, and when we pass a puddle, she has to jump in it no matter what she is wearing. We paint and do crafts. Cleanup in the hose becomes a lot of fun. We went fairy hunting in the woods.
Cartoons that might teach your little kid a thing or two
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Early imagination is not something that is taught on TV, and it is so much fun to participate in and watch in your child. We read lots of extra books. She runs to get another book before I even reach the end of the first. We spend tons more time one on one, and I see the twinkle in my daughter’s eyes grow brighter. I get a little anxiety as the day goes on thinking about how many emails I must have, but nothing is as urgent as how fast Avalon is growing and learning. When I watch her learning a new word or two a day, I ask myself where I want her to learn her new skills from. Is it from the background noise of the television or is it from the individual attention I can give her during our time together?
There have even been unanticipated benefits. I am more aware of my daily media use, so I spend less time in general “plugged in.” When you spend a full day a week without media influence, you realize how little you really need it. Yes, I need to search for jobs and check emails, but do I really need to spend that time on StumbleUpon or Pinterest? Maybe after her bedtime.
I actually look forward to Mondays now. I try to plan a fun activity every week. I like to make sure that there is some time during the day that we don’t have anything planned, too. I think there is something to be said about learning to be content without an activity or event going on. We as a society are set to GO, and we forget the simple things. As I watch Avalon at this moment as she breastfeeds her baby doll, I’m glad I made this choice now and I hope she continues to see my best side. I know I can’t protect her forever, but I love to cherish the time that I have now when her innocence and trust in me are so pure.
Other posts you may enjoy:
- Cartoons that might teach your kid a thing or two
- My son’s flirting with the Dark Side: why we’re evicting Star Wars from our home
- Unbirthdays, cereal vacations, and more non-holiday traditions we’re creating
This is awesome! What a great idea. Keep enjoying those mondays 🙂
Is it coincidence that today is Monday? 🙂
That was my doing! 🙂
We don’t even have kids yet, and we’re planning No-Tech Tuesday!
Absolutely great idea! Congrats on improving who you are for your daughter’s sake (and also your own)!!!
Great idea! This weekend we didn’t really use the internet at all because we were off having fun. We watched one comedy skit my brother-in-law showed us and I played a little Angry Birds, but that was it. When we got home my husband remarked that he hadn’t even noticed it, which is amazing because he spends almost all evening online.
How ironic that I am reading this on my smartphone, on a MOnday, while breastfeeding my newborn. I already had it bad with my iPhone before I had a baby, constantly checking while at work or wherever to see if I had any notifications from Facebook, new emails, or other non essential sources of distraction. Now that I spend hours a day feeding my little one, it’s gotten much worse! I hope to implement something like this in the future, and have even talked about doing it before (along with throwing my phone into a deep body of water). I have a love – hate relationship with technology- love it for it’s convenience and niftiness, hate it because it’s so addicting and easy to use.
I totally understand your love-hate relationship, but if it weren’t for my iPhone when my son was a newborn, even through his infancy, I seriously would have gone crazy from the isolation. That link to adult conversation through twitter, texting, blogs, and even the dreaded facebook was essential for me.
THIS, and also I would have quit breastfeeding. No joke. I had a (still undiagnosed) pain issue for the first few months and the only thing that made it bearable was just distracting myself with my phone while my daughter nursed.
Let’s not talk about how long it took me to get to this point, but I started learning sign language on my smart phone while feeding my daughter. Gives my brain something to do and I figure if I sign every word I learn whenever I say it, it’ll ultimately benefit her. Granted, I still screwed around on my phone (you can only stare lovingly at your baby as she eats for so long), but I felt a little better that some of my plugged in time involved something I could teach her to help her communicate.
This is a great idea, and this is definitely something we will be implementing. I’ve been toying with the idea of this for a long time, but this is a good idea to just put it all aside for awhile frequently and not worry about it.
I don’t feel that I’m addicted to my smartphone, but honestly, that link to other adults has been essential to my life at home with my kid. But now that he’s older, I don’t feel so lonely, and it’s not essential to my mental health. (I only slightly kid.)
Just wanted to say that I really like the picture of the kid playing in the rain in her underwear with no shoes on! For someone who babysits for parents with the craziest rules .. indoor shoes and outdoor shoes, really? it is refreshing to see!
I’ve been doing this on Saturdays (Shabbat) for about 9 months now, and it’s really liberating and restorative. I find the only time that it’s difficult is if I’m traveling or have guests. Televisions are so ubiquitous now that it can be difficult to get away from them.
I also loved the pics of your little girl. She’s adorable! Time for dress up shoes and time to be without shoes.
I used to keep Shabbat… this post made me want to re-start!
I think we’ll give it a shot in our home too! I especially think Monday is a great day to unplug because we typically spend Sunday evenings indulging in too many movies/cartoons as it is. I like the idea of starting the week off fresh with no TV and no internet distractions – perfect time to implement this with school starting soon.
I don’t have kids yet, but we often do No Screen Sundays. I find that those days are the days I get around to all those “someday” projects (screenprinting, building a garden box, sewing a new skirt, going for a bike ride and picnic). I also find that as Sunday evening winds down I start to kind of dread the coming “plugged in” day. Like Amy observed in the article, the more often I stick to my No Screen Sundays, the more I am aware of my media use, and the more I cut down on my screen time during those other six days of the week, and the happier (and more productive!) I am overall.
I highly recommend some sort of regular media vacation, whether or not you have kids, and whether it’s one day a week or just a few deliberate hours a day.
Good for you! My wife and I started no computer Saturdays (we already didn’t have a TV). It’s just like you describe, not that bad and I’m more aware of distractions the rest of the week.
Also: Turn off your alerts on your phone. If you’re like me you’ll check Facebook often enough anyway (though since no computer Saturdays I check it less than I used to)
An unplugged day and a media-free day aren’t the same thing. Books are one of many entertainment media. If you’re reading books, looking at pictures and other works of art around the house, listening to each other sing, or playing a board game or a card game, you’re still using entertainment media.
I’m not criticizing the idea – if you feel like taking a day away from electronic stimuli, by all means go for it – but let’s be clear and specific about the fact that that’s what’s happening. DIY Media Mondays, maybe?