Animal Biology Cupcakes By: Clever Cupcakes – Used by Creative Commons LicenseComing out of high school, I had no idea what career path I wanted to choose. Artist or teacher? Veterinarian or animator? “How about *insert random job here*?” I knew I wanted to be successful and, above all, enjoy my life, but I had no idea how to go about it.
I decided to train for a career in animal medicine. Then I started working. Man I was excited! I got to put my skills into use, and good use at that. I worked my butt off. And yet, each night I came home and felt wrong. I thought it would pass, but a year and a half later, I still feel wrong. Uneasy. Each time I think about going to work I feel physically sick. I hate that feeling. And it’s nothing my workplace has done per se. Yes, it is high stress, and the doctors demand a lot. But I had expected that. I just am coming to realize that I am not cut from the proper fabric to deal with these things. And that makes me sick, too. To know that time was “wasted” at school. That money was “wasted” on tuition. Time and money that I will never get back.
I just feel so lost and stuck. I am afraid of giving up my current job because, heck, it pays the bills. But I can’t continue living in this state of constant worry and aggravation. I would love to stay in the medical field, but not work with animals. But how can I afford school when we can barely stay afloat now? And I will have to work through school, no two ways about it, but what the heck would I do?
A few words of wisdom, a little snippet of advice, anything, really, would help right about now. -Dances With Cats
Homies? Who’s been in this position and has some advice?
So am I! It’s so hard! My parents have even noticed how unhappy I am, and have offered to help pay for schooling. But I don’t want to take them up on it because I would feel so guilty. I’m 26 goddammit…shouldn’t I have my life more together?!
THIS! I’m 26 too, and feel the exact same way. Honestly, it’s a bit paralyzing — I can’t help but feel like “I screwed up what I wanted to do, but I’m lucky enough to get paid for it… why risk making it even worse?” But it’s nice to hear I’m not alone 🙂
i went through this reciently. i spent 6 years as a fulltime college student, and gratuated in 2010 with a BS in speech, language, hearing sciences… i was NOT grad school bound in these fields (the two choices are audiology and speech pathology). i felt like i had been viewed as a second class student throughout my college experience, because i have a hearing loss and i grew up in both fields.
i graduated, spend a summer applying to a LOT of jobs in education. but i ended up doing what i had been doing all along: being a nanny to 2 families with a total of 6 kids. i was very very happy doing this, i love these kids and their parents. and i just kept at it for 2 years.
then i got married, and i felt like i needed to offer more to my husband and i wanted to start our own family soon… so i did alot of soul searching. and during a yoga class, after spending 14 hours that day with my sweet-nanny-babies, it kind of dawned on me that there was a profession that would require all the skills and instincts and passion and love that i had been doing on my own all along. social work.
so i applied to the graduate program at the state university in the town i live in, and i was so excited, and my husband was so supportive, and my employers were so supportive, and i was not admitted. which sucked, big time. (turned out i had way too many science classes, and not nearly enough social science classes) so then i reapplied to the same school, but instead to the under graduate program.
i am now a semester in to completing a second bachelors degree, which will be 2 years. i am so happy, and i feel like i found my place (finally!!) and i am still working with children and families. i dont have my own kids yet, but i have been taking care of other people’s kids for 17 years. so i have a fair amount of experience, and i can identify with an exhausted parent.
so, here i am, almost 27 and still in school. trying to give all that i have to give to my community, and to society, in my own way. i would not have foreseen that i would be here, still, at this point in my life. but i am, and its right for me.
I love all the comments and advice. The only additional thought I have to offer is this: I think part of the problem a lot of us have is with the concept of a “career choice” at all. In my experience, the work I do to earn my keep has been less of a choice and more of a semi-directed evolution. I went to college, majored in something random, worked at a job I happened to get that was only very distantly related to what I studied, went to grad school, landed a great job that paid crap but was wonderful for me, burned out of that job, took time off, worked a crap temp job related to my grad work, was unemployed for a while, landed a great leadership role in my general area, moved cross-country, got a less-senior and less-relevant to my studies but higher paid role in a much-larger organization… who knows what’s next. I don’t think I’ll stay on this path (inasmuch as it is a path at all!) much longer – I’m hoping that the evolution of my husband’s career is going to give me some freedom to try something new.
Training and experience is NOT wasted! You have shown an ability to get through school, commit to a job and work hard, not to mention all of the transferable skills that go along with all of that!
Now, to exploring what it IS that you want to do! I echo the above posts about taking really good care of yourself right now, easing as much stress as possible to get a clear head and be healthy. Even seeing if maybe you could make it financially work if you cut back…even just 5 hours a week less could help if that was devoted to meditation or stress relief or job hunting.
I know I’m not adding anything new to this, but just another voice to let you know I am in the exact same boat. Luckily it’s a retail job, just with a really stellar company, that I’ve had for six years since I was 18.
I have great managers, great support, I am just suddenly miserable and dread going in to do something I’ve been doing cheerfully and talking up to other people for six years.
One thing I have learned is that it has become much less common to have a single career. More and more people change their path somewhere along the way. The idea of having a single job for the entire time you are working is becoming foreign. So part of it is just changing your perspective, that it is actually normal to change. My dude has made some major changes also and we’ve been finding ways through it.
I’m australian so I’m not sure how much of this will be relevant. I’m also a nurse. What is it about your work that stresses you? you say you want to stay in the medical type field but working with people has its own lot of stresses and issues so think really hard about whether a face-to-face job or a behind the scenes job (say research?) would suit you better. Also on a side note the first year of working at the hospital I cried nearly everyday and wanted to quit but because i had spent so much time and effort on my studies i couldnt. I moved to a different ward and OMG the difference! I love my job, i look forward to it everyday. like you said, there was nothing inherently bad about the other places i worked but it just didnt feel right. perhaps try a change of scene and see if you can find your mojo again?
If you want to change careers over here the government funds courses that we are in need of (aged care workers, disability workers etc). Also look into if any of your subjects from your previous work gives you credit in another course. 🙂 good luck!
I always stress to friends and family to really really spend tons of time doing something as close as you can to your end goal ASAP. I worked in the medical field and saw new grad nurse after new grad nurse stop working within a year because nursing was just not for them and they went to school without really knowing how the actual day-to-day job works. Take your time and really try to figure out what you would love doing and spend all your time getting as close to that as possible whether it be volunteering, shadowing, reading professional journals, talking with whoever you can who works in the same position and asking TONS of questions. I’m not sure why you hate your job now but the medical field as a whole is incredibly stressful but also very rewarding. I burned out after 5 years and am now doing something completely different. Before you commit to more education try as hard as you can to put yourself in the day to day routine of whatever your end goal career is. Your experience is not wasted, you learned a ton about yourself and what you want (or I guess don’t want) so learn from it and identify what aspects you like and eliminate those that you don’t for your future career. Many many people have been in your shoes, three of my close friends just finished their second undergrad degree in something completely unrelated to their first!!
I just wanted to chime in to recommend that before making any drastic career changes to maybe try to find a different job in the same field. Even if it is not what you want to do forever, finding a better work environment might give you a little more space to plan and save up for a career change without going bonkers in the meantime. I was in the same boat of hating my job, feeling totally stressed out, dreading going in everyday and was really depressed. Long story short, I work in the same field now but at a different company and it is so much better. I still want to make a career change, but I’m not faced with the same urgency as when I was in that soul-sucking job, and can save up money, pay off debt and make the change when I’m ready.
I also want to echo the joys of part-time work. Knowing you don’t have to go in to the same hell full-time can be such a relief. Even if you get a second part time job just to pay the bills it can help take away some of the stress. Or if you can find a second part-time job that relates to where you want to be or go to school part-time, even better.
I am in the midst of this very realization. However, I really do like what I do…it’s just that I’ve discovered that 1. I’m not going to make much money if I stick with this field, 2. There is not much room for career advancement, and 3. I hate, hate, hate working for large corporations.
I’m looking for a change and am spending all of my free time searching for local jobs (preferably a family owned business) where I can get some new skills that might give me a chance for growth in my career. I’m also planning to go back to school to get a master’s degree.
I am definitely separating myself from the job I dislike. I used to pour a lot of energy into my work, but it really hasn’t paid off and I’ve been sick with stress headaches. It’s time to refocus-put my energy where it matters…on my family and our future. In the meantime I’ll do my job and most importantly collect my paycheck. It’s sad to me that what I’ve worked hard to create is going unrecognized, but that just means that the change in my focus is also going undetected (lucky me…).
I’m taking extra good care of myself these days-aromatherapy, a hot bath, extra time with my daughter and making extra effort to do things I enjoy. I’ve also started seeing a therapist, am back on an antidepressant and am lucky to have a very wise mentor helping me on my job search. Work sucks, but life is GOOD!
I didn’t read all the comments, so if this has been covered, I apologize.
I work in HR, and I can tell you right now, any time spent in any career path for whatever reason is NOT wasted time, so please don’t think that. Our experiences and education shape who we are, and even if you want to do a complete 180, careerwise, those experiences will serve you in your next career. I went to school for journalism and then decided it wasn’t for me, and I found that I use those skills every day in my current job: writing, analysis, asking questions, research, etc.
Having a degree that is heavily bio/chem is certainly useful.
Start thinking about what it is that drew you to what you’re doing, and what it is you DON’T like about what you’re doing, and what else you might find interesting. A lot of it is trial and error (something that makes me a big advocate of seeking out internships while still in school, for example).
You may or may not need to go back to school for what it is you think you may want to try your hand at, but there are always part time and/or online options.
I can say, if you feel physically ill before going to work, this is not a good state to be in, even if it is a “good job.” I would recommend looking for something low stress and low skilled for the interim. If it will require a pay cut, make sure you can afford that, of course, and don’t leave without some kind of game plan in place (if not another job, then hefty savings to get you through at least a couple of months + COBRA; or a plan to go to school full time; etc.), but start making those plans now. I wouldn’t recommend going back to school until you have a good idea of what you may want to do (particularly since you may not need to go back to school for whatever it is).
A couple comments suggested finding organizations you care about to volunteer for, which is a great idea. You might find you like something you hadn’t expected, and also you’ll meet people who may have an “in” to help you with. I’ve gotten a lot of my jobs (including my current job) from networking. It’s not a load of hooey, believe me.
It could be, too, that the field isn’t the problem but the office you are currently in is not quite right for you. I’ve had this happen, too, and it does make you think you don’t like the career, when it is really just you don’t like the job. Even if the people are nice.
Good luck. The first step is to not beat yourself up or think you’ve wasted time and money. Education and experience is NEVER a waste.
So much good advice here. I want to offer a slightly different view that has worked for my husband and I but may or may not work for you.
You don’t have to one career at a time. Think about what things actually make your happy and see if you can build them into your life. My husband works in IT and is also a firefighter. He wouldn’t be happy with just one of those. We’re foster carers and I now consider that my career, but I also make cakes for people and love it, just not as a full time job.
So you’re not happy now, what would need to be different? Could you handle it if you only had to be there part time? Do you need to be somewhere else? Do you really just need to never go back there again? What actually makes you happy? What are things you look forward to doing and could do all day? If you can’t find something, start trying new hobbies or interests until you find something.
You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. I hope you get there soon.
Although so many people choose a “career” out of high school to begin pursuing in college, I’m not sure I know one person that has continued on that path. Dude, I have a degree in drawing. DRAWING. Have faith that your passion will come to you, because you really can’t imagine it until it does. Five years ago, if someone had told me that my husband would be running a local brewery and I’d be going to school to become a midwife – well, I would have laughed. Heartily. But suddenly, no other job in the world seems important.
Although so many people choose a “career” out of high school to begin pursuing in college, I’m not sure I know one person that has continued on that path.
I know three people that chose a career path in high school and are still on it 9-10 years after the fact, so it’s still possible. That said, these people and I also pursued the top academic track available during high school, so that ability to persevere may have been taught during our adolescence.
That said, I suffer from chronic hobby syndrome. I’d pursue a hobby and want so badly to make it a career only to find out I just did not have it in me to do it. My English degree started because I wanted to write professionally and ended up being finished as a possibility for getting into a law-related program. Of course, it ended up giving me a new hobby of reading any readily available academic writing available (be it law or scientific in topic). I’ve considered going into a career that focuses strictly on researching but think I’d wash out because my discipline is really erratic. I’m thinking in the end I’ll end up bouncing around jobs in the mortgage industry that pay well so I have enough room to support my hobbies. If I’m lucky, I may even find one that also allows me to support my husband.
I would like to recommend reading “The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work” by Alain De Botton. He has some really uncommon and insightful views on careers and life, and I also found it really funny. I read it when I was going through a really hard time with my hating my job, and it really helped to put things into perspective.
Thank you for posting this!! I’m in the exact same boat (only difference is I have a baby on the way) and I feel lost and stuck too. I just graduated with my degree and I feel like it was a total waste of time and money. It got to the point this week where I tried reading a book at home that I have been reading at work on my breaks, and had to put it down because I got so upset.. Just because it reminded me of work too much.
I feel for you, and would love the advice too. Thanks for sharing!
My mom graduated college a couple years ago. She’s been a hairdresser, an LPN, and now a fifth grade reading teacher. She’s nearly forty. She was never really encouraged to do anything. It may take time, but eventually you’ll figure out what to do. I’d suggest researching what you could do with the education you already have. Go from there.
I volunteer for a rescue that recues cats and dogs local Frist Nations communities. These communities have populations of stray and wafering cats and dogs, as well as pets dumped there by city jerks who decided their Christmas/Xmas/anniversary dog wasn’t working out. Spayed and neutered pets in these communities are not prevalent ( though with our work on relationship building with community members, a relationship that works has been established. We have pets brought in that are in the worst kind of shape you can imagine – starving, with gunshot wounds, having suffered abuse, having been injured by bears as they were tied up, hit by cars, severe cases of demodex, heartworm, and parbo virus. A person like you would be invaluable to a rescue like mine. Maybe something like that would help you regain your passion. And like any group that volunteers with extremely at-risk populations, the connections you’ll make with a very special group of like minded people will surprise. I say every day how lucky I am to be involved with a group of (mostly) ladies that are truly awe inspiring and that give me the internal drive to make myself better. And because we all fight the same fight, we’re all true friends. It’s pretty amazing.
Oh Hi Me!
Yup, this is basically my life. As of right now am the proud bearer of one first class hons degree in computing and have worked for *cough*Finnish Mobile Phone Company*cough* for four years then bouncing from two jobs in 2012 after only 3 months in each.
The realisation I’ve had?
I fundamentally DO NOT CARE ABOUT HAVING A JOB JUST FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING MONEY FOR MYSELF, OR SOME COMPANY. I don’t. I can’t. Nope.
So I’m going into teaching.
Because what do I care about: I love the web, passionately believe computing + the internet can improve everyones life and want them to have a better understanding of it. I like talking to, and at people, and I want to be in a job where people appreciate what I do, and I appreciate what I do. Not one where I’m supposed to feel grateful even for having a job when, like you, I feel sick with anxiety having to face it every day. Blergh no thanks.
You are so not alone, quarter-life, mid-life, ‘whatever-its-my-schedule’ crisis, who cares. We all deserve to be happy, we don’t all fall onto a path that will get us there the first time, sometimes we have to try a few roads, see where they go and hightail it onto another.
I actually went through a similar thing recently. I have a BA in business and after all the years of straight a’s and studying, the highest point in my life is being a lowly glorified secretary. I won’t get any higher than this. Yeah, that hit me with depression hard.
At the same time though, like you, I can’t afford to go back to school. College tuition is expensive! $_$
But you do have some options: you can look for a job in the same field (animals) but maybe in a different setting (a small dr’s office, a rescue or a zoo perhaps?).
Another option would be to teach. Like my state offers a program where I can get my certification while working (still thinking of seriously starting this soon).
Or, you can stay where you’re at and find something to do that does make you feel happy/satisfied after work. Like I started volunteering at a local horse rescue on weekends. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment, doing something that I actually like to do for a bit each Saturday. Another example would be that one of my friends (who is in the same situation) started buying art supplies with part of her paycheck. It made up a bit, for her job situation.
I spent a lot of time in a job I hated. Years. Getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t waste a lot of time in a job that makes you miserable. It’s not good for you, or those around you.
Good luck!
Alas, I feel your pain. I’m a veterinarian so I deal with much of the same stress, plus I have accumulated the accompanying debts. The sad part is that the parts of the career I like are related to small animal, so most jobs I could switch to at a similar level seem even worse, and other small animal related job would not keep up with my debts. I could handle the job, I think, if not for the hours, especially with a family on the way– and since most vet clinics are small businesses there’s very little flexibility and very little maternity leave. It seems like there’s not a lot of jobs that are both stable and part time available either. I think I may end up taking some time off if we can afford it- I feel terribly guilty about this but I’m kind of hoping that when I have a child that is being neglected for my job instead of just me I’ll have to find a way.
My rants aside I think it is interesting that you still want to be in medicine even if you don’t want to be in animal medicine. This is different from me because I think my issues are with the overall medical culture of constant and total self sacrifice with no balance. I think the important thing to identify is what about medicine that you love and what you don’t, and where in the medical world you might find that niche. That’s the hard part, and I hope you find it!
Also remember you won’t lose the skills you have, if you find you still have the interest. There is a former full-time vet tech where I work who left and became a human ER nurse. Now she fills in for us when she is needed and not working the ER, and she is fantastic for having both skills, compassion, and some serious perspective.
Good luck you you, and thanks for listening to me rant too!
Hey DancesWithCats, I don’t know if you’re on VIN, but there’s a Professional Communication/Stress folder there that you’ll be able to access if you are. I found it amazingly helpful, and totally nonjudgemental. Coming from a fellow vet:)
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This is my exact problem! Thanks so much for posting this. I look forward to reading all the responses after work!
I’m in this situation right now 🙁
So am I! It’s so hard! My parents have even noticed how unhappy I am, and have offered to help pay for schooling. But I don’t want to take them up on it because I would feel so guilty. I’m 26 goddammit…shouldn’t I have my life more together?!
THIS! I’m 26 too, and feel the exact same way. Honestly, it’s a bit paralyzing — I can’t help but feel like “I screwed up what I wanted to do, but I’m lucky enough to get paid for it… why risk making it even worse?” But it’s nice to hear I’m not alone 🙂
i went through this reciently. i spent 6 years as a fulltime college student, and gratuated in 2010 with a BS in speech, language, hearing sciences… i was NOT grad school bound in these fields (the two choices are audiology and speech pathology). i felt like i had been viewed as a second class student throughout my college experience, because i have a hearing loss and i grew up in both fields.
i graduated, spend a summer applying to a LOT of jobs in education. but i ended up doing what i had been doing all along: being a nanny to 2 families with a total of 6 kids. i was very very happy doing this, i love these kids and their parents. and i just kept at it for 2 years.
then i got married, and i felt like i needed to offer more to my husband and i wanted to start our own family soon… so i did alot of soul searching. and during a yoga class, after spending 14 hours that day with my sweet-nanny-babies, it kind of dawned on me that there was a profession that would require all the skills and instincts and passion and love that i had been doing on my own all along. social work.
so i applied to the graduate program at the state university in the town i live in, and i was so excited, and my husband was so supportive, and my employers were so supportive, and i was not admitted. which sucked, big time. (turned out i had way too many science classes, and not nearly enough social science classes) so then i reapplied to the same school, but instead to the under graduate program.
i am now a semester in to completing a second bachelors degree, which will be 2 years. i am so happy, and i feel like i found my place (finally!!) and i am still working with children and families. i dont have my own kids yet, but i have been taking care of other people’s kids for 17 years. so i have a fair amount of experience, and i can identify with an exhausted parent.
so, here i am, almost 27 and still in school. trying to give all that i have to give to my community, and to society, in my own way. i would not have foreseen that i would be here, still, at this point in my life. but i am, and its right for me.
I love all the comments and advice. The only additional thought I have to offer is this: I think part of the problem a lot of us have is with the concept of a “career choice” at all. In my experience, the work I do to earn my keep has been less of a choice and more of a semi-directed evolution. I went to college, majored in something random, worked at a job I happened to get that was only very distantly related to what I studied, went to grad school, landed a great job that paid crap but was wonderful for me, burned out of that job, took time off, worked a crap temp job related to my grad work, was unemployed for a while, landed a great leadership role in my general area, moved cross-country, got a less-senior and less-relevant to my studies but higher paid role in a much-larger organization… who knows what’s next. I don’t think I’ll stay on this path (inasmuch as it is a path at all!) much longer – I’m hoping that the evolution of my husband’s career is going to give me some freedom to try something new.
Training and experience is NOT wasted! You have shown an ability to get through school, commit to a job and work hard, not to mention all of the transferable skills that go along with all of that!
Now, to exploring what it IS that you want to do! I echo the above posts about taking really good care of yourself right now, easing as much stress as possible to get a clear head and be healthy. Even seeing if maybe you could make it financially work if you cut back…even just 5 hours a week less could help if that was devoted to meditation or stress relief or job hunting.
I know I’m not adding anything new to this, but just another voice to let you know I am in the exact same boat. Luckily it’s a retail job, just with a really stellar company, that I’ve had for six years since I was 18.
I have great managers, great support, I am just suddenly miserable and dread going in to do something I’ve been doing cheerfully and talking up to other people for six years.
I don’t know what to do either. Good luck to you!
I could have written this, only without the stellar company 😛
One thing I have learned is that it has become much less common to have a single career. More and more people change their path somewhere along the way. The idea of having a single job for the entire time you are working is becoming foreign. So part of it is just changing your perspective, that it is actually normal to change. My dude has made some major changes also and we’ve been finding ways through it.
I’m australian so I’m not sure how much of this will be relevant. I’m also a nurse. What is it about your work that stresses you? you say you want to stay in the medical type field but working with people has its own lot of stresses and issues so think really hard about whether a face-to-face job or a behind the scenes job (say research?) would suit you better. Also on a side note the first year of working at the hospital I cried nearly everyday and wanted to quit but because i had spent so much time and effort on my studies i couldnt. I moved to a different ward and OMG the difference! I love my job, i look forward to it everyday. like you said, there was nothing inherently bad about the other places i worked but it just didnt feel right. perhaps try a change of scene and see if you can find your mojo again?
If you want to change careers over here the government funds courses that we are in need of (aged care workers, disability workers etc). Also look into if any of your subjects from your previous work gives you credit in another course. 🙂 good luck!
I always stress to friends and family to really really spend tons of time doing something as close as you can to your end goal ASAP. I worked in the medical field and saw new grad nurse after new grad nurse stop working within a year because nursing was just not for them and they went to school without really knowing how the actual day-to-day job works. Take your time and really try to figure out what you would love doing and spend all your time getting as close to that as possible whether it be volunteering, shadowing, reading professional journals, talking with whoever you can who works in the same position and asking TONS of questions. I’m not sure why you hate your job now but the medical field as a whole is incredibly stressful but also very rewarding. I burned out after 5 years and am now doing something completely different. Before you commit to more education try as hard as you can to put yourself in the day to day routine of whatever your end goal career is. Your experience is not wasted, you learned a ton about yourself and what you want (or I guess don’t want) so learn from it and identify what aspects you like and eliminate those that you don’t for your future career. Many many people have been in your shoes, three of my close friends just finished their second undergrad degree in something completely unrelated to their first!!
I just wanted to chime in to recommend that before making any drastic career changes to maybe try to find a different job in the same field. Even if it is not what you want to do forever, finding a better work environment might give you a little more space to plan and save up for a career change without going bonkers in the meantime. I was in the same boat of hating my job, feeling totally stressed out, dreading going in everyday and was really depressed. Long story short, I work in the same field now but at a different company and it is so much better. I still want to make a career change, but I’m not faced with the same urgency as when I was in that soul-sucking job, and can save up money, pay off debt and make the change when I’m ready.
I also want to echo the joys of part-time work. Knowing you don’t have to go in to the same hell full-time can be such a relief. Even if you get a second part time job just to pay the bills it can help take away some of the stress. Or if you can find a second part-time job that relates to where you want to be or go to school part-time, even better.
I am in the midst of this very realization. However, I really do like what I do…it’s just that I’ve discovered that 1. I’m not going to make much money if I stick with this field, 2. There is not much room for career advancement, and 3. I hate, hate, hate working for large corporations.
I’m looking for a change and am spending all of my free time searching for local jobs (preferably a family owned business) where I can get some new skills that might give me a chance for growth in my career. I’m also planning to go back to school to get a master’s degree.
I am definitely separating myself from the job I dislike. I used to pour a lot of energy into my work, but it really hasn’t paid off and I’ve been sick with stress headaches. It’s time to refocus-put my energy where it matters…on my family and our future. In the meantime I’ll do my job and most importantly collect my paycheck. It’s sad to me that what I’ve worked hard to create is going unrecognized, but that just means that the change in my focus is also going undetected (lucky me…).
I’m taking extra good care of myself these days-aromatherapy, a hot bath, extra time with my daughter and making extra effort to do things I enjoy. I’ve also started seeing a therapist, am back on an antidepressant and am lucky to have a very wise mentor helping me on my job search. Work sucks, but life is GOOD!
I wish I knew what my passion is. The only thing I’m crazy about is my husband.. don’t think it is a profitable endeavor though.
I didn’t read all the comments, so if this has been covered, I apologize.
I work in HR, and I can tell you right now, any time spent in any career path for whatever reason is NOT wasted time, so please don’t think that. Our experiences and education shape who we are, and even if you want to do a complete 180, careerwise, those experiences will serve you in your next career. I went to school for journalism and then decided it wasn’t for me, and I found that I use those skills every day in my current job: writing, analysis, asking questions, research, etc.
Having a degree that is heavily bio/chem is certainly useful.
Start thinking about what it is that drew you to what you’re doing, and what it is you DON’T like about what you’re doing, and what else you might find interesting. A lot of it is trial and error (something that makes me a big advocate of seeking out internships while still in school, for example).
You may or may not need to go back to school for what it is you think you may want to try your hand at, but there are always part time and/or online options.
I can say, if you feel physically ill before going to work, this is not a good state to be in, even if it is a “good job.” I would recommend looking for something low stress and low skilled for the interim. If it will require a pay cut, make sure you can afford that, of course, and don’t leave without some kind of game plan in place (if not another job, then hefty savings to get you through at least a couple of months + COBRA; or a plan to go to school full time; etc.), but start making those plans now. I wouldn’t recommend going back to school until you have a good idea of what you may want to do (particularly since you may not need to go back to school for whatever it is).
A couple comments suggested finding organizations you care about to volunteer for, which is a great idea. You might find you like something you hadn’t expected, and also you’ll meet people who may have an “in” to help you with. I’ve gotten a lot of my jobs (including my current job) from networking. It’s not a load of hooey, believe me.
It could be, too, that the field isn’t the problem but the office you are currently in is not quite right for you. I’ve had this happen, too, and it does make you think you don’t like the career, when it is really just you don’t like the job. Even if the people are nice.
Good luck. The first step is to not beat yourself up or think you’ve wasted time and money. Education and experience is NEVER a waste.
Do you have any networking advice?
So much good advice here. I want to offer a slightly different view that has worked for my husband and I but may or may not work for you.
You don’t have to one career at a time. Think about what things actually make your happy and see if you can build them into your life. My husband works in IT and is also a firefighter. He wouldn’t be happy with just one of those. We’re foster carers and I now consider that my career, but I also make cakes for people and love it, just not as a full time job.
So you’re not happy now, what would need to be different? Could you handle it if you only had to be there part time? Do you need to be somewhere else? Do you really just need to never go back there again? What actually makes you happy? What are things you look forward to doing and could do all day? If you can’t find something, start trying new hobbies or interests until you find something.
You deserve to be happy and fulfilled. I hope you get there soon.
Although so many people choose a “career” out of high school to begin pursuing in college, I’m not sure I know one person that has continued on that path. Dude, I have a degree in drawing. DRAWING. Have faith that your passion will come to you, because you really can’t imagine it until it does. Five years ago, if someone had told me that my husband would be running a local brewery and I’d be going to school to become a midwife – well, I would have laughed. Heartily. But suddenly, no other job in the world seems important.
So don’t worry. You’ll find it. Keep searching!
Although so many people choose a “career” out of high school to begin pursuing in college, I’m not sure I know one person that has continued on that path.
I know three people that chose a career path in high school and are still on it 9-10 years after the fact, so it’s still possible. That said, these people and I also pursued the top academic track available during high school, so that ability to persevere may have been taught during our adolescence.
That said, I suffer from chronic hobby syndrome. I’d pursue a hobby and want so badly to make it a career only to find out I just did not have it in me to do it. My English degree started because I wanted to write professionally and ended up being finished as a possibility for getting into a law-related program. Of course, it ended up giving me a new hobby of reading any readily available academic writing available (be it law or scientific in topic). I’ve considered going into a career that focuses strictly on researching but think I’d wash out because my discipline is really erratic. I’m thinking in the end I’ll end up bouncing around jobs in the mortgage industry that pay well so I have enough room to support my hobbies. If I’m lucky, I may even find one that also allows me to support my husband.
sobala gil!
I would like to recommend reading “The Pleasures and Sorrows of Work” by Alain De Botton. He has some really uncommon and insightful views on careers and life, and I also found it really funny. I read it when I was going through a really hard time with my hating my job, and it really helped to put things into perspective.
Thank you for posting this!! I’m in the exact same boat (only difference is I have a baby on the way) and I feel lost and stuck too. I just graduated with my degree and I feel like it was a total waste of time and money. It got to the point this week where I tried reading a book at home that I have been reading at work on my breaks, and had to put it down because I got so upset.. Just because it reminded me of work too much.
I feel for you, and would love the advice too. Thanks for sharing!
My mom graduated college a couple years ago. She’s been a hairdresser, an LPN, and now a fifth grade reading teacher. She’s nearly forty. She was never really encouraged to do anything. It may take time, but eventually you’ll figure out what to do. I’d suggest researching what you could do with the education you already have. Go from there.
I volunteer for a rescue that recues cats and dogs local Frist Nations communities. These communities have populations of stray and wafering cats and dogs, as well as pets dumped there by city jerks who decided their Christmas/Xmas/anniversary dog wasn’t working out. Spayed and neutered pets in these communities are not prevalent ( though with our work on relationship building with community members, a relationship that works has been established. We have pets brought in that are in the worst kind of shape you can imagine – starving, with gunshot wounds, having suffered abuse, having been injured by bears as they were tied up, hit by cars, severe cases of demodex, heartworm, and parbo virus. A person like you would be invaluable to a rescue like mine. Maybe something like that would help you regain your passion. And like any group that volunteers with extremely at-risk populations, the connections you’ll make with a very special group of like minded people will surprise. I say every day how lucky I am to be involved with a group of (mostly) ladies that are truly awe inspiring and that give me the internal drive to make myself better. And because we all fight the same fight, we’re all true friends. It’s pretty amazing.
Oh Hi Me!
Yup, this is basically my life. As of right now am the proud bearer of one first class hons degree in computing and have worked for *cough*Finnish Mobile Phone Company*cough* for four years then bouncing from two jobs in 2012 after only 3 months in each.
The realisation I’ve had?
I fundamentally DO NOT CARE ABOUT HAVING A JOB JUST FOR THE SAKE OF MAKING MONEY FOR MYSELF, OR SOME COMPANY. I don’t. I can’t. Nope.
So I’m going into teaching.
Because what do I care about: I love the web, passionately believe computing + the internet can improve everyones life and want them to have a better understanding of it. I like talking to, and at people, and I want to be in a job where people appreciate what I do, and I appreciate what I do. Not one where I’m supposed to feel grateful even for having a job when, like you, I feel sick with anxiety having to face it every day. Blergh no thanks.
You are so not alone, quarter-life, mid-life, ‘whatever-its-my-schedule’ crisis, who cares. We all deserve to be happy, we don’t all fall onto a path that will get us there the first time, sometimes we have to try a few roads, see where they go and hightail it onto another.
:hugs:
I actually went through a similar thing recently. I have a BA in business and after all the years of straight a’s and studying, the highest point in my life is being a lowly glorified secretary. I won’t get any higher than this. Yeah, that hit me with depression hard.
At the same time though, like you, I can’t afford to go back to school. College tuition is expensive! $_$
But you do have some options: you can look for a job in the same field (animals) but maybe in a different setting (a small dr’s office, a rescue or a zoo perhaps?).
Another option would be to teach. Like my state offers a program where I can get my certification while working (still thinking of seriously starting this soon).
Or, you can stay where you’re at and find something to do that does make you feel happy/satisfied after work. Like I started volunteering at a local horse rescue on weekends. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment, doing something that I actually like to do for a bit each Saturday. Another example would be that one of my friends (who is in the same situation) started buying art supplies with part of her paycheck. It made up a bit, for her job situation.
Hope that helps sweetie!
I spent a lot of time in a job I hated. Years. Getting fired was the best thing that ever happened to me. Don’t waste a lot of time in a job that makes you miserable. It’s not good for you, or those around you.
Good luck!
Alas, I feel your pain. I’m a veterinarian so I deal with much of the same stress, plus I have accumulated the accompanying debts. The sad part is that the parts of the career I like are related to small animal, so most jobs I could switch to at a similar level seem even worse, and other small animal related job would not keep up with my debts. I could handle the job, I think, if not for the hours, especially with a family on the way– and since most vet clinics are small businesses there’s very little flexibility and very little maternity leave. It seems like there’s not a lot of jobs that are both stable and part time available either. I think I may end up taking some time off if we can afford it- I feel terribly guilty about this but I’m kind of hoping that when I have a child that is being neglected for my job instead of just me I’ll have to find a way.
My rants aside I think it is interesting that you still want to be in medicine even if you don’t want to be in animal medicine. This is different from me because I think my issues are with the overall medical culture of constant and total self sacrifice with no balance. I think the important thing to identify is what about medicine that you love and what you don’t, and where in the medical world you might find that niche. That’s the hard part, and I hope you find it!
Also remember you won’t lose the skills you have, if you find you still have the interest. There is a former full-time vet tech where I work who left and became a human ER nurse. Now she fills in for us when she is needed and not working the ER, and she is fantastic for having both skills, compassion, and some serious perspective.
Good luck you you, and thanks for listening to me rant too!
Hey DancesWithCats, I don’t know if you’re on VIN, but there’s a Professional Communication/Stress folder there that you’ll be able to access if you are. I found it amazingly helpful, and totally nonjudgemental. Coming from a fellow vet:)