Category Archive

Relationships

Let’s talk about our partners, and how we negotiate sharing our homes and lives with them.

Exploring the very painful world of friendship breakups

Whether because of a fight, distance, or natural causes, friendship death can be especially painful. Unlike romantic relationships, we don’t expect friendships to have expiration dates. There are no “where are we going?” conversations, no breakup war stories, no vows or pronouncements in front of friends and family. Friendships are what you turn to when you end a romantic relationship; they’re there when you begin a new one. Friendships, it’s understood, are forever. Why wouldn’t they be? But the most painful breakup I’ve ever had wasn’t with a romantic partner.

When is a good time to have “the number” talk with your new partner?

I have a question about sex — more specifically number of sexual partners. I recently hit double digits, and I have no problem with this or the choices I have made. As a 25-year-old woman, I don’t think that number is particularly high. I am not ashamed. But I do wonder how/when I should handle it in future dating scenarios? Do you wait till they bring it up or tell them before you add them to your number? Is there an “okay” number of people to have slept with? If yes, what is it, and is it different for men and women?

Why sectionals are great for polyamorous relationships

Nothing reveals the shortcomings of nuclear family home furnishings quite like polyamorous relationships. In order to maintain sustainable relationships, polyamorous or not, partners must feel that they are receiving enough attention. Everyone’s needs are different, but for snuggly folks like my partners, our living room set-up was really holding us back. Until we bought our sectional.

Try a Vulnerability Day by watching these videos together

Personally, I’m not a roses kind of girl. And right now, our household doesn’t have room for more stuff, nor do I really need chocolate to know I’m loved. But, getting the chance to take a break from the daily routine and sit with my partner as we watch relationship-relavent videos that’s what I need. Here are a few videos that have worked better than roses and chocolate in getting our romance back…

Shift work: Learning to love our offbeat schedules

My fiancé is a police officer. The biggest hurdle this job presents to us as a couple is the schedule. He works afternoon shift and his “weekend” is Wednesday and Thursday. I work a regular daytime Monday through Friday job. After a few years of living together we’ve worked out a happy situation and even found positives in the shift work shuffle.

Living with my partner isn’t like living with a roommate

The other day when my boyfriend was at work, I texted him to say “I’m exhausted and I just want to warn you that the dishes aren’t done. I’ll get to them tomorrow first thing.”

His response: “I hate to tell you this, love, but you’re an adult now. You can do the dishes whenever you want!”

My reaction in my mind: “Not true. I have a responsibility to my roommate to maintain this house in the way that I would want to live in it.” Then I caught myself and thought for a minute. Does living with your partner mean that maybe, just maybe, the entire home is now under our shared dominion? And that, within reason, I can decide what gets done when, just like he can? I still wasn’t sure.

Childhood Home loss: how can I help make it better?

My fiance and I just moved into our own apartment and I am elated. We have, in our almost seven years together, never had our own place before. But my fiance is having a hard time dealing with the move, as the house we just moved out of was the one he was literally born in. Can anyone help with suggestions of how to make him feel welcome and happy in our new home, and not feel like he just lost his entire childhood?

Gamers need lovin’ too!: How to love and live with a Gamer

My husband is a gamer. Not a random “whenever I’m feelin’ it” kind of thing, but a serious GAMER. I, on the other hand, am most assuredly not. I know we can’t be the only couple out here like this. It’s inevitable in this day and age of gaming there are multitudes of gamer/non-gamer couples. Yet every single person I know has asked me at least once “How does that even work? If he’s always on [insert game here] how is your relationship not suffering?!” Well, there are some very decidedly nice perks about gamers…