Category Archive

Families

Our sister site Offbeat Mama launched in 2009, became Offbeat Families in 2012, and was merged into Offbeat Home & Life in 2015. This archive contains all the posts ever published on those sites! We believe that while children change your life forever, being around kids doesn’t necessitate abandoning your identity. We believe in supporting and inspiring parents and caregivers who are moving beyond mainstream visions of parenting. We welcome anyone who’s interested in families, whether you’re pre-parental, in the process of becoming a parent, or choosing to live childfree.

A letter to women struggling to get pregnant

A letter to women struggling to get pregnant

If you’re trying to get pregnant, there is a lot going on. You may become overwhelmed with emotions. Anger and envy over those who you assume became pregnant easily. Frustration and sadness over another negative pregnancy test. Fear and anxiety that you’ll never get pregnant. It may seem like nearly every woman around you is pregnant and you may wonder when you’ll have your turn.

Here’s my letter to you…

Adult tantrums: What would be different if we were all allowed to have tantrums?

What would be different if we were all allowed to have tantrums?

My daughter threw a 30 minute tantrum today. I say tantrum, but I look at it through more of an RIE parenting lens, so really, she had a 30-minute emotional release. When we were about 20 minutes in, I started to wonder what the world might be like if everyone were able to have such emotional releases. If there was a judgment-free, intervention-free place where adults, teens, or children could express their anger or frustration or confusion or sadness or whatever else they might be feeling and have others quietly and courageously bear witness.

To my (unhappily) single friends on Valentine's Day

To my (unhappily) single friends on Valentine’s Day

To my unhappily single friends on Valentine’s Day (happily single friends, you won’t need this one!): I love you. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you, without a doubt, that someday the void you feel today will be filled in exactly the way you want it to be. That if you just stop looking for a partner, one will find you. Bliss will be forever yours. I know we both wish the future was as predictable and happy-ending filled as a movie.

I think perhaps this May, on Mother’s Day, I will feel the same way you do today. Last Mother’s Day I was blissfully looking forward to becoming a mother; a month later I lost that pregnancy.

Make breastfeeding punk again with these bad-ass nursing shirts

Make breastfeeding punk again with these bad-ass nursing shirts

When it comes to breastfeeding-friendly fashion, you’re probably feeling a wee bit limited right about now. So when I ran across these bad-ass nursing shirts from Etsy seller And Out Come The Boobs (h/t to reader Colleen!), I knew I HAD to share them. These thrifted tees are upcycled with zippers to allow access for your up-and-coming punk babies.

Objectionable art: My home's art has themes of sex, drugs, and rock 'n' roll: is that okay if I have a child?

My home’s art has themes of sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll: is that okay if I have a child?

I love the artwork in my home, and I’ve never given a second thought to the themes of sex, drugs, and rock and roll in my collection until having a child. Now that my husband and I have welcomed a little one into the world, I give more pause to the content of our collection and future art purchases.

Will the large print of Brigitte Bardot with a cigarette carelessly dangling from her mouth make my son more likely to take up smoking? Could the Mcbess drawings of scantily-clad ladies lead him to objectify women?

Meeting the other woman helped me overcome my divorce

Meeting the other woman helped me overcome my divorce

Ordering my coffee, she is right behind me. I can feel the nerves in the air and her eyes on my back. This is not a first date or a job interview, but it is the first time in my life I have been the bigger person and put my hurt aside. On this day, I sat down with the woman my husband left me for. The woman who he kept secret from me, the woman who turned my world upside down on one awful fall day, the woman that my now four-year-old calls her second mom.

parenting and social media: Future apologies from the first generation of parents with a digital paper trail

Future apologies from the first generation of parents with a digital paper trail

Dear sons: it has occurred to me that I am the first generation of those who will leave a digital paper trail. This means that every withering status I’ve posted about parenthood, every unflattering baby photo of a catastrophic nappy explosion, every snigger posted online about a missing tooth, or eating your Halloween sweets after you’d gone to bed (major dick move, genuinely sorry), or self-deprecating comment about it all just being too damn much will be available to you some day. Your IT skills already intuitively surpass my own. So in advance, I am sorry.

What do I do to stop my teenage son from pressuring girls into sending nudes?

How do I stop my teenage son from pressuring girls into sending nudes?

I have a 13-year-old son who I’ve recently found out has been pressuring a female friend into sending nude photos to him. I’m SO disappointed as I thought I was doing a good job teaching him about enthusiastic consent, legal issues with minors, and framing media news in a teachable way. But I’m going wrong somewhere. Do any of you have any advice or resources for dealing with this?