Category Archive

It worked for me

Infertility and a wedding: what if I can’t have children?

Having a baby always felt like a given — I’d get married, have a baby and live happily ever after. That’s the way it works, right? Six pregnancies and seven miscarriages later (one set of twins) we find ourselves facing the very real possibility that I simply can not carry a child to term. Three months seems to be average, though one pregnancy was lost at five months.

6 reasons toddlers are smarter than the rest of us

I don’t know a lot about parenting, since I’ve only been a step-parent for four years and a bio parent for less time than that. What I do know, aside from having ALL my notions about motherhood, children, and life-after-kids utterly demolished, is that my daughter navigates this world better than I do. Thus, I present my case that my toddler — and really, most kids her age — is smarter than me.

Mini day-tripping with my little dude: I let my kid skip school and we went to the art museum

While my (almost four-year-old) son was bustling around deciding what toy he wanted to bring to school with him and I was mid-bagel, I asked if he wanted to go skip school and go to the art museum. He was somewhat incredulous at first (we haven’t visited this museum yet) and I was somewhat unsure of how he’d be once we got there (he’s generally well-behaved, but a huge building filled with things to knock over/touch? HARD.), but we decided yes: we were going to do it.

Ambivalence: in which I pay $270 a year to avoid making a decision about our leftover embryos

The aforementioned pregnancy with the thousands of dollars and drugs started in a lab, with the creation of five embryos, made from donor sperm and eggs collected from my wonderful wife. Two embryos had 8-cells (the ideal), and were squirted into my uterus, and one of those grew and grew and was born a day before her due date but the day after the Pixies show we had tickets for (thanks kid! It was a good show!). The remaining three were put in the deep freeze in case the first try didn’t work. And there they remain. Three embryos, conceived the same day as my daughter, frozen in time.

Our child’s medical condition led us to unexpectedly become Attachment Parents

I went in to parenthood prepared. I had a decent amount of baby experience and figured I was as ready as someone can be to have your life up-ended by a tiny human. My husband and I discussed cloth diapering (we wanted to try it), sleeping arrangements (pack-n-play and crib only) and birth plans (unmedicated hospital birth with a doula). I knew that all of our plans needed some degree of flexibility as we figured out what worked best for us. Then our fuss-a-saurus, E, was born.

So you’ve flown internationally with your baby — here are 4 tips on traveling with your toddler

Plenty of parents have written about plane travel with wee ones, and I’m grateful: I learned a lot from their experiences. An international flight is so daunting I feel like contributing to the conversation. My daughter’s godmother lives in Ireland, and last fall we took a two year-old in a plane ride over the ocean. What an undertaking!

How beating up a sack of potatoes helped me deal with my father’s illness

My mom spoke in a tight, scared voice as she told me Papa was being airlifted from their small town to the capital city where I lived. His heart condition had triggered acute kidney failure and he was in and out of consciousness, rapidly sliding closer to death. I said yes and hung up in a daze.

The world’s best playground might be London’s Diana Memorial Playground

On a good day in London, on our local playground where race, class, school uniforms and linguistic boundaries may as well have been built out of concrete, I was a cynic. Visiting the Diana playground was a most welcome respite from all of that. And, though I am wary of entering the treacle zone, it is a testimony to the spirit of the Lady who inspired it. This playground exists in an unlikely place and it gives some pointers, some idea of what our society could be like. Maybe even our world.