How do you know when you’re being different for the sake of being different?
In my quest to be authentic to myself, I have to wonder — whether it’s something as major as changing faiths, or something as minor as choosing a hairstyle — how do you know when you’re being different for the sake of being a “special snowflake” and how do you know when you’re just being you? And more importantly, does it matter?
How to know when to conform and when to rebel
No matter how determined you may be to fit in and go with the flow, there is a point at which you, too, would rebel. Where you would draw the line between conformity and rebellion would be much different than mine. But it’s really important to articulate exactly what that line is for you. Here are two questions can help you get started…
It’s hard rebelling against liberal, tolerant parents
I remember being a 21-year-old party girl in San Francisco, and my dad asking me very straight-forwardly about my recreational substance consumption, and me answering him very honestly. (It was, uh, A LOT at the time.)
My father looked thoughtful for a second and then said, “That’s a pretty heroic dosage of toxins. I hope you’re prioritizing sleep and eating well, too.”
I thought to myself, “…!! Fuck, there’s no way to get a rise outta this guy.” And stopped trying.
First, second, and third generation offbeat families
Years ago, I developed this theory about first and second generation weirdos, loosely based on the concept of first and second generation immigrant families. In my mind, there’s another second generation: the children of offbeat families.
Daughter of an offbeat mama
The first social reality of which I ever became aware was that my mother was the most embarrassing person on the entire planet. She dressed loudly, spoke louder, and seemed never to have heard of make-up. She was a rebel with many causes and wouldn’t allow my sister or me to escape any of them.