Category Archive

grown ups

Why I’m choosing to write a book instead of having a second child

But when I take a hard look at my life I have to admit that I have a finite amount of time and energy and everything is a tradeoff. I am acutely aware that I traded a large chunk of my personal time to have a child. And I’ve never regretted that decision for a second. But I would regret a second child. Even if I did publish a novel with two children I would forever wonder what higher levels of success I could have reached had I decided to stop at one and focus on writing instead.

Parents going poly: how to begin a polyamorous relationship when you already have kids

I am part of a couple who is considering bringing a third person into our relationship — not just in a relationship, but fully integrated into our family. As three intelligent, consenting adults, we have few problems with moving towards making this arrangement a reality, and we intend to live together.

No, I’m not pregnant — and I never want to be again

A friend of mine (the mother of one of my daughter’s classmates) said hello to me at a school function a few weeks ago. After pleasantries were exchanged and she noticed I was on my way out with one of my kids in tow, she asked a seemingly harmless question.

On risk, chasing dreams, and saying goodbye to my child

The greatest thing I can give to her is the command to pursue her own dreams, whatever they may be. And to give her that, I must give it to myself first. That was what I am trying to do. That is all I can say to her. And up the mountain I go.

My daughter’s aunt and I have different values — how do I teach my daughter the difference without being rude?

My sister-in-law is planning to undergo elective plastic surgery after her second child is born. I love and support her in whatever she chooses to do but we have different values in regards to this topic. How do I explain that to my little girl in a way that can be used as a teaching moment and not offend someone we love so dearly?

I’ve got baby fever, but I’m in no rush to actually have a baby

Not that I don’t want children, or babies, I just have a bit more to do first. My husband needs time to establish himself in a new, entrepreneurial endeavor. I need time to get more comfortable as a teacher in a low-income school. I also have a few more words to write before I am forced to decide between teaching and writing and the balance of motherhood. Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re never ready. Maybe that’s why baby fever takes over, to ensure we have those babies before it’s too late.

I processed my miscarriage by talking about it

In the end, I told more people about my miscarriage than I had even informed that we were expecting another child. When the horrific reality of having lost my pregnancy set in, all I wanted to do was talk about it. I couldn’t stop replaying the events in my mind — from seeing that first blood drop to sitting in the waiting room of my clinic, surrounded by glowing pregnant women and their boisterously rotund bellies, knowing that our baby was pronounced dead just minutes ago.

Confession: I suck at being a working mom

Friends and family often wonder how I “do it all” but the truth is there isn’t any magic to it. I think of how much time I spend apart from my children, and launch into panic mode. I know I’m being a responsible parent by providing the health insurance, food, and security that my job affords my family, but I can’t help but feel that just as not every parent is meant to stay at home, not every parent is meant to be away.