Category Archive

grown ups

Gender, adoption, and identity: how being transgender will help me be a better dad

When I began testosterone replacement, I was giddy and excited. Surgery made me anxious, but I was relieved when it was over. And now: nothing. The elation I expected never came. I had rejected the most basic gift from my mother and father — I had declared myself someone other than the daughter they had welcomed two decades earlier.

Becoming a parent made me better at my job

As I was approaching my last year of grad school for my Master’s in English, I had been dating an awesome, goateed, tattooed locksmith for a few months. That Christmas, as I was choosing my thesis advisor and getting ready to embark on the challenge of writing a full short story collection, my body started to feel a little weird. What I thought was nerves over the impending thesis, we came to find, was actually our little droidlet beginning to grow. Surprise! The following August, my son was born.

A photo project about Nagorno-Karabakh’s birth encouragement program

Jenn recently shared a NY Times piece calledThe National Womb, which is a project that documentary photographer Anastasia Taylor-Lind underrtook. The focus is a “birth encouragement program” that the disputed region of Nagorno-Karabakh implemented in 2008: basically, the government gives cash to newlyweds each time they have a kid.

How and when in the now: learning to live in the moment

I’ll admit it: I am a planner. I need to have all my bearings gathered with at least an outline of things to come. After our wedding some life situations like health issues and a death came up, our priorities shifted, and the planned window of time for having “our babies” moved up. And now it has, at last, become a real fleshy possibility.

This shadow of possibility scares me shitless like nothing before….

Let’s talk about making your own not-so-perfect crayons

Imagine my surprise when I come downstairs one night to find that my husband, who is so far Pinterest-free, has embarked on his own crayon-making adventure. He basically took all of our son’s broken and worn down crayons of similar shades, melted them, stuck them in the fridge, and VOILA: new crayons were born.

Baby piles, irrational fears, and responsibilities: why I don’t want to have a kid

Here’s the deal — I don’t want kids, I never have, and I don’t think I ever will. For years now I’ve had TONS of folks tell me “you’ll seeeee… that’ll change… wait until you hit 25… 27… 30…” I turned 30 last year, and it still hasn’t changed.

Being pregnant is changing my body and I LOVE IT

Before I got pregnant, I really didn’t like my body. I thought I was fat, thought I wasn’t good enough, you know… things a lot of young girls and women deal with. I gained weight and got stretch marks, and that sent me into a deep dark place of self loathing and despair that I wasn’t beautiful anymore.

What would you want to know about your child’s birth mother?

I gave birth to my baby boy almost two years ago. Due to circumstances out of my control in the creation of him, I placed him for adoption, and his new family adopted him a year ago. They’ve been wonderful — they write to me and tell me how he’s doing and always send pictures. It’s great.