How I support my family as a sex worker
For all intents and purposes I have the perfect suburban mommy resume. With one enormous exception. I keep a huge secret from my family, neighbors, and friends. After a long day of story time at the library, playing with moon sand, and finger painting… I go to work. I don’t have a typical mom job. Not by a long shot. I’m an escort.
What aliens and pooping during labor have in common
When I find boredom creeping up through my limbs, I play what I call the alien game. To play, you look around and imagine how what ever is around you would look to aliens fresh out of the hatch. I imagine that it’s human procreation that would most baffle the aliens, assuming that they did’t happen to have a similar biological casing.
What questions do you always ask other parents and then immediately regret?
There are a few questions that I always find myself asking other parents — whether or not the answer is something that’s interesting, let alone worth discussing. The number one is (in the case of parents and their kid) “Who do you think he/she looks like?”
Tips for keeping your pregnancy a secret when you’re known for partying
Much to our delight, my partner and I found out we were pregnant with our little pickle three days before our wedding date. There were happy tears, cuddles, and an immediate feeling of “we need to go celebrate!” Usually for us this means cracking open a bottle of bubbles or a few beers… and in just three days we’d have five cases of wine, a dozen cases of beer, and six bottles of rum that people were going to expect us to celebrate with. So how was I going to get out of drinking on this special day without dropping this huge bombshell?
How can I easily navigate the transition back to working outside the home?
I’m getting ready to go back to work, but here’es the catch: I haven’t done paid work in six years. I am feeling so anxious about every step of the process: proving that even though I didn’t get paid, I’ve built skills steadily along the way; learning how to get back into the groove of dealing with co-workers; what might make the transition easier for me and my two sons, right down to wondering what professional women wear nowadays.
Tips for helping your family rock at music festivals
A common passion that my husband, Eric, and I have is seeing live music. We enjoy festivals in particular because we can see a bunch of bands during the weekend and possibly become a new fan. We decided that just because we have a baby didn’t mean our love for live music had to change — so we just started taking her with us!
How do you create a village for your child when you don’t have a network?
My partner and I are considering having children sometime in the next few years, but the question of “community” has been holding us back. We both grew up in religious households but we are pretty much agnostic. However, we both know how powerful that supporting community can be.
No, it’s not for the kids: what I want is important, too
Sitting in the corner where I intended to nurse my second baby, I looked around myself and thought, “The kids sure would love a fish tank here.” My older son could watch the fish when I couldn’t play with him while nursing. The baby would love the calming gurgle of running water. As an added bonus, I could enjoy the inhabitants during those hours stuck underneath a baby.