Category Archive

grown ups

“Bonus Mom” and other name alternatives: what are your favorite terms for additional parents?

Reader Brigitte recently emailed us about this comment that contains an awesome alternative to step-mom, “Bonus parent.” Clearly bonus [insert parent here] is great since it can be applied to so many relationships, but what other terms are you guys using in your families?

In which we all give Licia Ronzulli and her two-year-old a virtual thumbs up

Wouldn’t it be interesting/awesome/so helpful if children could be integrated into the workplace? I totally understand that bringing your kid(s) to work everyday isn’t ideal for some people and/or workplaces, but for those who would want to — Licia Ronzulli may be your favorite person. She’s an Italian MEP (Member of the European Parliament) who made waves two years ago when she brought her infant daughter to work with her. If you heard of her then, you may not realize that she’s continued to bring her daughter to work since then — and there are photos to prove it.

Pain and happiness: my mom died five weeks before the birth of my daughter

My mother died five weeks before I gave birth. Most people’s birth stories begin when they go into labor, but my mothers death and the birth of our child are still inseparable in my mind. My mother’s death was a tragic accident (carbon monoxide poisoning two days before the baby shower my mother had been planning for eight months) and it landed my father in the hospital. I always expected my mother to be here for the birth of our baby and the compounded loss was almost too much to bear.

Crossing bridges when I get there: my life as a legally-blind single mom

Living differently than the norm with a disability was riddled with obstacles even before I became responsible for a wee human being. Back then I’d often make personal sacrifices to accomplish goals I wouldn’t expect of a child. These days it’s a balancing act of happening upon alternative opportunities that are within my abilities, don’t require a car to get there, and because I don’t have childcare, toddler welcoming.

On saying no to a second foster child

For weeks now, I’ve been feeling this slow and steady ache growing — the feeling that I am not doing enough, can never do enough. I know, rationally that most of us only have the time and resources to do a very little bit. But the idea that there are 16,000 foster children in NYC alone, each as unique and precious as my foster son, each needing stable, loving homes both temporary and permanent, actually hurts me when I think about it, makes it hard to breathe. I can do so, so little.

“How can I talk to my kid about _______?”

We love our questions posts, and we’ve noticed that a lot of them tend to be about talking about a particularly challenging topic with your kids. We’ve also noticed that even though the topic changes, the advice is usually similar — so it seems that it would be helpful to collect some of our favorite, most relevant bits of advice in one place.

How do you keep from arguing with your partner in front of your kids?

I grew up in a single parent household and I didn’t grow up with a picture of the “right” way to disagree around the kids. My husband and I are under a lot of stress, with little-to-no time alone together to have fun, much less hash out issues.

Thoughts on deciding whether or not to tell your kids you’re a sex worker

Back when I worked as a stripper, I was just about as out-and-proud as they come. I wrote a blog about stripping under my real name. I cofounded a magazine by and for sex workers. I found community in the sex worker rights movement. But when I gave birth to my daughter two years ago, I began to wonder if I should shut up about my years in the sex industry.