Deciding whether or not to go back to work after my child was born has made me a less judgmental person
In the United States a woman who has a child can take up to 12 (unpaid) weeks off under FMLA. Today is the start of my 13th week. I was supposed to go back to work, but I stayed home. I simply decided it did not make sense for me to return to work.
I skipped my baby shower: how to save money when you’re buying your own baby supplies
There could be any number of reasons why someone wouldn’t have a traditional baby shower — not living close to friends and family is a good one. Logistics may be another; pregnancy is tiring, and finding the time or energy to host a party can be impossible. Then there’s my personal reason for avoiding a baby shower: I just can’t stand the idea.
Dykes and Tikes on bikes: celebrating Pride with my family
We celebrated Pride weekend in August this year, and it was a hot one. Saturday was the Dyke March, which we tapped into later in the day. I had zero intention of braving a crowd of 650,000 people with a fiercely teething and mobile infant and his fearless three-year-old sister and decided to lay low. Back in my twenties, Pride was about volume. Do more, see more, flirt more, be more queer.
A life-altering diagnosis: I just found out my unborn child has Down Syndrome
I knew I was pregnant the moment I conceived. Call it a woman’s intuition or a case of mother-knows-best, but I knew. As the weeks went on and I could finally take a pregnancy test and receive reliable results, my partner Brian and I stared at the giant plus sign and I said, “I told you so.” As things progressed, I also knew I was having another boy. So when I got additional news about our son, I was shocked that I didn’t already know…
Taking my son to his first music festival
The last time we went to a music festival, it was summer of 2009 and I was pretty pregnant. We stayed for about a day, and then we bailed — with much navel gazing and obsessing from me. WHAT DID IT MEAN? So that was three years ago. I’ve continued to dance, mostly at dance studios and very occasionally at clubs… but we had not made it back to a music festival. Then along came the Beloved Festival, in Oregon. I was contacted about doing an Offbeat Families workshop at Beloved, and so here’s how it all went down…
I am a transgender dad in a gay relationship who breastfeeds his baby boy
Near the end of my pregnancy, I went to my first breastfeeding support meeting, facilitated by La Leche League. I was excited at the opportunity to learn, and terribly nervous in a room full of strangers — I was a guy at a women-only peer-to-peer help group. When it came to be my turn to speak, I gave my carefully prepared spiel: “My name is Trevor and I am able to be pregnant because I am transgender.”
Thoughts on deciding whether or not to tell your kids you’re a sex worker
Back when I worked as a stripper, I was just about as out-and-proud as they come. I wrote a blog about stripping under my real name. I cofounded a magazine by and for sex workers. I found community in the sex worker rights movement. But when I gave birth to my daughter two years ago, I began to wonder if I should shut up about my years in the sex industry.
My son the cross-dresser
My son is big into tractors. He loves Lego. He builds skyscrapers out of wooden blocks, and then goes all Godzilla on them. He plays in the mud, and looks for bugs, and has a thing for dinosaurs. And on the first day of gan (preschool) last week, my son told me he wanted to wear a dress.