1.3k

Hidden Blessings: Dispatches from the midlife trenches

This weekend I am doing one of the most cliche things I've ever done: I am going to a midlife crisis workshop. Let me pull back and say it even bigger: I am a white divorced 42-year-old mom, and I am going to a midlife crisis workshop. I built a literal empire on offbeatness, but the current reality is pretty fucking stereotypical: just a confused midlife white lady going through a midlife crisis, here! NICE TO MEET YOU.

15k

The sacred jack-off: taking masturbation to a whole new weird level

I was talking to a married friend recently, and she was all, "Look, it's cool that so many people are exploring forms of polyamory, but that's not me and that's not my marriage. I want to find new ways to expand my sexual experiences that AREN'T other people."

And I was all, "Fuck yes — have you tried doing, like, a sacred jack-off?"

And she was all, "Did you make this up?"

And I was all, "Pssht. No."

1.6k

What I'm learning from dancing poorly

Inspired by a local dancer's athletic performance in a show I saw years ago, I asked her if she would teach me some stuff. She said she would, and then I cried a lot because it's really hard looking stupid and learning new things. METAPHOR ALERT!