Category Archive

Families

Our sister site Offbeat Mama launched in 2009, became Offbeat Families in 2012, and was merged into Offbeat Home & Life in 2015. This archive contains all the posts ever published on those sites! We believe that while children change your life forever, being around kids doesn’t necessitate abandoning your identity. We believe in supporting and inspiring parents and caregivers who are moving beyond mainstream visions of parenting. We welcome anyone who’s interested in families, whether you’re pre-parental, in the process of becoming a parent, or choosing to live childfree.

Being super human for our children

To my girls, right now, I am super human. Flawed, undoubtedly, but they overlook, forgive, and maybe even ignore them. What they see is that superhero my 14-year-old self wished to be. In my girls’ minds, I can accomplish anything. I am defender, righter of wrongs, protector of justice.

How my three-year-old niece and I bonded over Medusa

The first time Maggie saw it when she was around two and a half, she asked me, “who’s that?” “That’s Medusa, Maggie. She has snakes for hair,” I explained. She laughed, thinking it was hilarious. This became a constant back and forth nearly every time she saw me — asking about Medusa, laughing at the snake-hair. I quipped one day that it must be really hard for her to brush her hair. Maggie also thought this was hilarious and incorporated it into the routine — “So funny!” she’d say, hands over her mouth as she giggled.

On delivering my daughter at home, in my bed — and learning that the birth was really all about her

Olivia’s home birth was absolutely something I wanted to do in my life — part of my bucket list, if you will. I never imagined I’d deliver in my bed, but now I realize that this was Olivia’s birth — in the end I wouldn’t have changed a thing about it.

If you’re struggling to conceive, talking to friends in the same boat may help you cope

I wrote about our struggle on my blog, and the reception was incredible. People shared that they’d been trying, personal struggles of their own, that they’d be thinking of me. No one gave me well-meaning but awful advice. Some people who now have tiny children shared that it took them years of trying to get to that point and they sympathised with my struggle. All up, it has been a positive experience and I’m glad I put myself out there.

“Do you want him to be gay?” Musings on gender roles, assumptions, and raising self-aware kids

We spend a lot of time talking about empowering girls to break gender barriers. Which is important — we should. And there is plenty more work to do in that arena. But now I have a boy to raise. And if he wants to play dress-up instead of hockey, or wear his hair long or short, or become a fashion designer or watch HGTV instead of judge shows (fingers crossed), or if he likes girls or boys or nobody at all, I want him to know that it’s OK.

I have a chance to travel for 3 weeks — how do I deal with leaving my child?

Here is my problem: my initial reaction hasn’t been “Oh, what if I miss him? What if he gets hurt? Will he forget me? Will he be ok without me?” — it’s been much closer to “HELL YES!! Send me NOW!!” and I feel sickly guilty for wanting this. So my questions are to other parents who have spent extended periods away from their children: How did you feel?

Nerdy for all things crochet? Here’s a tutorial so you can make your own zip-up baby hoodie

As I sit and crochet the things I literally dream of the baby wearing once s/he is here, I have started to write down the patterns I create — and this one for a hoodie is pretty damn good if I say so myself. Like most inventions (even though this item itself is nothing new) this pattern was created of necessity; I couldn’t find a good baby hoodie pattern to save my life almost a year ago. Now I have created a great blocked pattern that can be made into any size and I want to share it with anyone who will use it.

Down in Dad’s Shop: a second generation stay-at-home-dad’s reflections on childhood

I grew up with an understanding of manual labor that the children of those who work with their hands often receive: as rewarding as it might be, it is awfully hard on your back. My dad would come in from his barn at night, primer dust in his hair and streaks of paint on his shirt and we knew better than to complain about our days.