Category Archive

Identity

My son is more than “a heart transplant baby”

Families that experience major medical drama or have chronic conditions are all too often permanently associated with that drama. I had a friend growing up whose family was “The Car Accident Family” after several of them were permanently disabled in a serious collision. One of my friends was “The Dog Bite Girl,” and the mother of another friend was creatively dubbed “Deaf Mom.” I myself was a member of “The Kidney Family” after my mother donated my father a kidney when I was in middle school. We got pregnant, and I was all geared up to be identified as a mom, hopefully a pretty awesome one.

I’ve started telling my daughters I’m beautiful

There are a lot of people like me. Women who know things. Women who have seen things. Women with diseases in their livers. There are a lot of women with scars on their arms and words that carry themselves like sparrows. There are women who were too big for this town, who had their backs bent carrying things like religion and a history that originated somewhere in the crook of a branch that extended over a stream. All of you women with lines on your brow, with cracks between your fingers… it’s been a long winter. All of you, you are beautiful and so am I.

“Bonus Mom” and other name alternatives: what are your favorite terms for additional parents?

Reader Brigitte recently emailed us about this comment that contains an awesome alternative to step-mom, “Bonus parent.” Clearly bonus [insert parent here] is great since it can be applied to so many relationships, but what other terms are you guys using in your families?

Raising tri-cultural children in a world of absoluteness

In a world of categories, how do you inspire your children to break away from categorization and create their own identity? This is a question that I had never thought of before I had children.

Of family, fear, and Freezy-Pops: on visiting my daughter at school after I transitioned from Daddy to Mommy

Biologically speaking, I am not “Mommy;” I’m Daddy. But I transitioned a couple of years ago, and slowly the kids are getting used to having two Mommies. No one knows that I transitioned unless I tell them — I blend in.

Thoughts and considerations when trying to raise a proud Tlingit daughter

My husband and daughter are Alaska Native; they are Tlingit. I am an even blend of nearly all things considered Caucasian. In our home we tend to embrace the Tlingit culture stronger than anything else, because, frankly, it’s so much more interesting than the average middle-class white-girl way that I grew up. The greatest thing about being a hybrid family is that we can choose what’s wonderful about being Tlingit. We love hunting, gathering, beautiful Tlingit art, the fantastic jewelry and Tlingit dance.

Being pregnant means we’re not alone: giving pause to this stage of my son’s life

Right now, and for the next four months, it’s just him and me. He is just mine. And I am just his. And that’s it. It’s just the two of us — roaming this Earth together. And as lonely as I feel sometimes, I need to pause and realize, that I am never, ever, alone.

My son and I left my abusive marriage and have never been happier

One day, as I was contemplating driving into oncoming traffic, I just snapped. I took my one-year old son, left my nice house and my not-so-nice husband and went to my local women’s shelter.