The roots of white privilege and what we must do to recognize it

I recently had an experience with myself that brought me up short and let me know that — smack! — it was time to do some more reading. Anyone who has done any form of serious healing work in their lives knows that our patterns and wounding show up again and again and again, and it is up to us to recognize the roots and continue to pull them out as best we can. One way we can find the roots is by seeing the fruits. What are we growing in our lives? What kinds of symptoms do we have that tell us about the health of our own bodies and the environments we're in? For these things to be meaningful and informative, we must look at them.

Talking about sexuality: the big dirty elephant in the room

Talking about sexuality is a conversation that can make folks a tad uncomfortable. Sexuality is always some big dirty elephant in the room — it's there and obvious but everyone avoids talking about it. That's because, for many of us, it has been taught for generations that sex is a dirty thing we keep to ourselves.

We offer sexual education in some schools, we talk to our kids about the birds and the bees, but beyond that, how often do we ever really talk about sexuality?

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I changed my last name and now I regret it. What should I do?

When I got married, I didn't want to keep my name because I grew up with an abusive father. My husband is deeply connected to his last name and didn't want to change, so I took his name. Now I hate that I changed my name because I associate it with his parents, and they aren't very good people, and I feel stuck. Any advice?

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How I find ways to express my offbeat self in my onbeat career

I'm a total Offbeater in an Onbeat career. I'm the business interface and management for a group of engineers in Tech in the Silicon Valley. And unless you can break the sound barrier on amazing code, your work clothes had better be "business casual." Since I am the business interface, I find myself even more pigeonholed into looking more "corporate" than I'd prefer. I find little ways to express my offbeatness though…

I am gender fluid and losing weight. How will I feel about my body after?

I've just recently come to the realization that I am genderfluid. Ever since I was a toddler, I've been this mix of feminine and masculine, insisting on wearing fluffy dresses while playing Power Rangers. I've always felt too masculine to be a girl and too feminine to be a boy.

How do others in the trans and genderqueer community handle physical body changes like weight loss? Does anyone else worry their perception of their own gender, or lack thereof, could change at the end of that particular journey?