Category Archive

trying to conceive

How do I ask the person hosting my baby shower to make the party gender-neutral?

My fiance and I aren’t having a baby yet, but we’re trying to conceive and have already decided that we don’t want to find out the sex of the child until delivery. I have a lot of family and friends who will likely want host a baby shower for me, but I’m not sure how to convey the idea of gender-neutrality to them.

I’m trying to conceive and feel like it might not happen

The road taken when trying to become a parent is already long enough. You weigh this and that — a new house or a child? My wedding or the birth of someone greater than a piece of paper from the state? Cloth or disposable diapers, when should I start stocking up on either? And then there’s fertility: even if everything checks out fine, you still have a 20% chance of conceiving a child each month.

Planned Parenting: how I found a childless community with my LGBT friends

For two-and-a-half years I walked through life like a ghost, waiting for my baby. Then I discovered I could not conceive a child with my partner. Suddenly, that hope and suspense was gone. A simple biological fact I had assumed was my birthright vaporized before my eyes. One day I was kvetching to my best friend — who is gay — about this shocking news, and he stopped me and said. “Listen: this is new to you, but it’s not new to me. So don’t you walk in my door talking about doom and gloom. You have to understand, this is just our life. It’s been our life, and now it’s yours, too.

What questions did you ask when finding a gynecologist?

My husband and I are currently childless but getting ready to start trying to conceive — and my gynecologist is retiring! I’m looking for a new one, and wondering: what did you ask when looking around?

I’m worried the daughter I placed in open adoption will resent my future kids

My partner and I are 18 days away from beginning to try to conceive — as happy as I am, I’m also scared out of my mind. I’m not worried about raising a child, but I’m worried about how my first daughter will react to my pregnancy after I placed her into adoption.

How did your baby change your life?

I’m way past the age where everyone I know is getting pregnant. At 33, I’m at the age where many of my friends are having their second child and dealing with toddlers. But, for me, this is the age where I’m finally considering having a baby of my own. Considering is not the word. Obsessing. CRAVING.

Did you leave your job and awesome health insurance when you got pregnant?

My husband and I are in our early 30s and we really want to start a family. We got pregnant last August, but sadly had a miscarriage in October. Before becoming pregnant we decided that after the baby’s birth I would quit my job so I could finish my master’s and move on to a doctoral degree. I hate my current job (and I don’t use the word hate lightly!)… but it’s in the same universe as what I want to do, has really great pay, and awesome health insurance. On paper it’s an amazing job, but I find it wholly unsatisfying.

What NOT to say to someone struggling with infertility

At the grocery store today, I was browsing the “family planning” section. Of course, there are the things that help prevent pregnancy, but I was obviously looking at the things to help promote pregnancy. As I was reading the back of every box of “ovulation predictors” and trying to decide which was the best one, a female employee that was probably in her later 30s came up to see if I needed any help.