What the Germans can teach us about embracing negativity
I didn’t realize until years after I moved back to the States, but the German outlook suits my personal view of life much better than the American one. I admire their unapologetic skill in taking the bad with the good. That means that negativity is not only normal, but totally healthy from their perspective!
Postpartum anxiety, devastating prenatal diagnosis: What to expect when parenthood isn’t what you expected
The thing is, no one really knows what you should expect, when you’re expecting. More often than not, the things you experience as a parent are not what you expected. Sometimes they’re beautiful. Sometimes things are not so wonderful — Postpartum Anxiety. A devastating prenatal diagnosis. An abortion… So, what do you do when pregnancy or parenthood isn’t what you expected?
How I hacked my anxiety with my iPhone
So much of my time is taken up by worrying about the time, that I can barely do anything else. I work, anxiety-ridden, with one eye on the clock. I don’t dare make other plans on days I already have plans, lest I lose track of time. And my heart is beating hard and fast for hours on end. Then my therapist gave me a suggestion in helping with my timing anxiety, and, after giving it a lot of time to see if it worked, I can honestly say IT HAS BEEN THE BEST THING EVER!
Spreading the relaxing, tingly love of the autonomous sensory meridian response (ASMR)
ASMR stands for “autonomous sensory meridian response,” which is basically a fancy made-up acronym for a heightened feeling of relaxation, accompanied by tingles, especially in the scalp and spine. I got into ASMR a year or so ago, during a stressful period of my PhD. I was watching a HELL of a lot of make-up and massage tutorials, not so much for the actual tips, but because they gave me a lovely relax-y buzz. And then Youtube, in its wisdom, suggested an ASMR Massage video…
Post-breakup decoration therapy: Heal your heart by rearranging your furniture
The idea is simple: After a break-up of two (or more) persons living together, there’s often this person left behind to live in the “old house,” filled with memories of happier times or painful fights. A good decoration therapy session is about making significant changes to this environment and it usually involves friends, booze and lots of fun.
Triangles, boundaries, and Spidey Senses: Ending relationships with difficult family members
Remember that post about how to maintaining a relationship with difficult family members? I’m about to drop some deep family secrets on this site today. My solution to maintaining relationships with difficult siblings is this: Fucking DON’T. I don’t know if I can offer the definitive advice on the topic of ditching difficult family members, but I can offer up a few insights from my own 30+ years of experience…
Why part-Vulcans make bad partners
I recently came home from a couple’s therapy session that left me sweating through every layer of clothing that I had on. It dealt with the two things that I struggle with the most: emotions and the expressing of them. See, there’s a reason why that guy I married calls me “Foxy Spocksy.” We both believe that I’m part Vulcan.
Coping with a partner’s (undiagnosed) depression
My partner of two years has been struggling with patterns of feeling moody, withdrawn, and overwhelmed. He’s recently admitted that he thinks he might be depressed, but he is still reluctant to see a doctor or therapist to figure things out. I want to be there for my partner, whom I care about deeply, but at what point do I need to step back and look out for my own emotional well-being? I’d appreciate any advice from those who have helped a friend partner with depression or had to encourage someone to seek therapy.