1.9k

Being The Backup: The one who gets the text when no one else is available

If someone is constantly telling you how much they miss you, but finds time weekly to spend with other people they just met, can't find time for coffee, lunch, a quickie — ANYTHING with you — then it's clear how much you and your time actually means to them. You aren't even really a friend to them let alone a lover. Finally, it becomes clear: You are The Backup. You are who they go to when nobody else is available. So, fellow Backups, what are we supposed to do? Should we just smile and be happy that someone wants us, even if we are their last possible choice?

1.7k

How do you have adult time when living in a small space with a kid?

My partner and I just moved into a 600-square-foot cottage with our one-year-old. Although there's technically a separate bedroom, the wall doesn't go all the way to the ceiling. So it may as we'll be a studio for sound purposes. Is there a magic equation for living in a small space with a kid? Will we ever have sex again? And what can I do when I just really, really need some personal space?

9.2k

Getting stoned with my vagina revolutionized my feelings about my own sexual body

Why a perfectly healthy, vibrant woman would be ashamed of her own perfectly healthy, vibrant vagina is a different subject all together. We will file that one under "Future bones to pick with the Patriarchy." A different story for a different day. We will just say that hiding and quieting my vagina has just sort of been a major part of my role as a female, and hiding tends to lead to shameful feelings. Am I Right?

But today was for me and my vagina. I applied my beaver balm, generously. It melted like butter and felt warm, with a nice tingle. I pulled my pants and undies back up and went about my business, tidying the house, made myself a cup of coffee. Usual stuff. Twenty minutes later, my vagina was stoned…