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I've been writing about kink online for over a decade. I used to sometimes write under a pseudonym to protect my identity. Now that I’m older and wiser, I’ve realized that there’s nothing to be ashamed of as long as I keep it appropriate for the audience and circumstance. Do I talk about kink out of nowhere, with strangers or acquaintances, using “I” statements and sharing anecdotes? No. Never. Would I talk to my family about it? Would I be embarrassed? Would you? Here's how to explain BDSM to your family without getting embarrassed…

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Couples vary wildly in the amount of sex they have. The American average for couples is somewhere around three to four times a month (last I heard). That sounds awfully low, doesn't it? But lots of people are happy with it. If you only have sex on the weekends, you're practically at, or exceeding, the American average.

But if you're not, and you want to have more sex, here's my advice…

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I was talking to a married friend recently, and she was all, "Look, it's cool that so many people are exploring forms of polyamory, but that's not me and that's not my marriage. I want to find new ways to expand my sexual experiences that AREN'T other people."

And I was all, "Fuck yes — have you tried doing, like, a sacred jack-off?"

And she was all, "Did you make this up?"

And I was all, "Pssht. No."