3.2k

Coming out as polyamorous to family (how I did it and how it may help you!)

In the spring of 2015, I was planning my wedding. However, the elephant in the room was that I was in love with someone else. My non-fiancé partner was a huge part of my life, and I couldn't imagine them not being at our wedding.

The problem was, I hadn't told my family about the polyamorous aspect of my life or my long-established queerness. It was one of those things that I cowardly wanted to save until there was "something to report," lest I draw my parents into my straight-presenting relationship and the hypothetical non-monogamous sex and love I was open to having with imaginary future people of indiscriminate gender.

7.8k

Advice for being the polyamorous partner to a monogamous spouse

I'm monogamous to my soul. My husband of 21 years recently dropped the Poly bomb. And, I'm sorry poly people, no matter how gently you think you're approaching it, it still feels like a bomb. But he doesn't want to lose his family, and God help me, I still love him, so I'm staying. He'll have his happiness, the girls will have their family and home intact, and I'll learn to live with it.

That being said, there are some things you can do if your monogamous spouse agrees to open your marriage…

2.6k

Shit. I think I may be non-monogamous. Now what?

I can't deny it. I feel strong pulls to be emotionally, and perhaps down the road, physically involved with other men with whom I've developed emotional connections.

I recently told all of this to my husband. He met me with open arms and respects my feelings. But I don't know how to sort through these feelings I'm having towards a new lifestyle…

What Love Is: My review of Carrie Jenkins' book (+bonus story about mutual fangirling!)

I've mentioned it several times here, but I finally need to write my official review of Carrie Jenkins' What Is Love: And What Could It Be. I started reading the book in March and immediately adored it… not because I agreed with everything, but because it's so interesting to watch someone apply their super analytic, logic-based brain skills (the author's background is in the philosophy of MATH, for fuck's sake) to something as squishy like love and relationship structures.