Hey "bad moms," let's give ourselves permission to feel competent

Since the birth of my daughter, I've found myself using the phrase "I'm a bad mom" a lot. It horrifies my husband, who associates bad moms with criminals, not ordinary women with ordinary flaws.

Think about your best girlfriend who is also a mom. Now imagine someone called her a bad parent. How would you feel?

Somebody said it to my face once. He didn't really know me, had never met my daughter, he was just a drunken dick in the bar where I work, but he said it, he looked me in the eye and said: "You're a bad mother." Let me tell you, it's one hell of a fucking insult, and we should never, never, say it to ourselves.

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How to talk to your kids about poverty when they're growing up poor

I grew up very poor. I remember asking my mom if we were poor, because the kids at school said we were. She replied that we were poor by our communities standards, but by worldwide standards we were very fortunate. She talked to me about poverty very frankly and openly, and it really made an impression on me…

How to find yourself when you're focused on raising someone else?

Younger mamas, I want you to know that us older mamas are just as befuddled at times as you are. I was in my mid-30s when I had my first child, and I don't feel as if you ever finish the finding-yourself journey — nor would I want to. It's part of the joy of being alive.

That said, here's what's helped for me to reconnect in areas of my life that need it…

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Raising children on the spectrum when you are also on the spectrum

My son is diagnosed with Asperger's and my daughter was diagnosed with moderate autism. Just recently my therapist told me that I fall on the spectrum too.

Being told that was like a door I had been pushing at finally opening and letting in the fresh air, I knew it I was different, I knew it in my bones since before I had my son, I just didn't know how to speak about these things.