My sister wants me to be a pallbearer at her funeral, but I don't want to go at all

My sister has written to me asking if I'd be a pallbearer at her funeral. She is terminally ill with only a few months to live. I love her. She lives 6,000 miles away. I have, over the past few years, travelled to see her on a few occasions, the last a while back, really to say good-bye.

I'm an emotional person, not very strong, and I'm afraid and the thought of travelling 12,000 miles round-trip to attend a funeral does not appeal to me. How on earth do I say no without hurting her feelings whilst she is still with us? Please help me — even if to say I should just be strong and attend the funeral.

Adventure vs. settling down: can we make it work when I want to roam and he wants to stay home?

My husband and I spent our 20s working short term contracts all over the country. For me every day was an adventure, but it turned out the itinerant life made my husband miserable, so we settled down. But now I'm miserable. The thing is, I still love my husband. We still make each other laugh until neither of us can move. We still have sex. But the quiet life isn't for me.

So what do we do? Is it possible to be happily married to someone who doesn't share your life goals? Or do I divorce my best friend?

2.0k

How do I discuss body autonomy regarding children's haircuts?

I was visiting my brother who is a new step-parent to four children, three of whom are boys. He had decided to give all three of the boys buzz cuts for the summer. The oldest, who is 14, was protesting this and wanted to keep his hair his usual length. My brother, an admittedly more old skool type of guy, insisted on the haircut despite his stepson's request.

I wanted to say something about body autonomy, but resisted the urge. How do you think I should have handled that situation?

How to reach out to a friend with social anxiety

I have a friend with severe social anxiety and depression. He lives with his mom now, doesn't leave the house, and I (and all of our shared friends) haven't seen him in about two years. All of our attempts to email/call/visit haven't worked and he won't reply. I know he's in therapy, but I'd love to help him if I can.

Is there any way I can reach out in a way that would feel safe for him?

1.5k

What's the protocol for family photos with future in-laws?

I've been dating my partner for about two and a half years and we're definitely on the road to marriage. He's very close with his family and they are currently planning some family photos with my partner's immediate family and his brother's family (wife and kids). Since we're not married, it feels weird to be part of their family's photos, especially when I haven't met them that many times (they live in another state).

Is it cool to have them take the photos without me? Is that even something you could safely suggest or should I just shut up and get in the picture?