3.2k

Coming out as polyamorous to family (how I did it and how it may help you!)

In the spring of 2015, I was planning my wedding. However, the elephant in the room was that I was in love with someone else. My non-fiancé partner was a huge part of my life, and I couldn't imagine them not being at our wedding.

The problem was, I hadn't told my family about the polyamorous aspect of my life or my long-established queerness. It was one of those things that I cowardly wanted to save until there was "something to report," lest I draw my parents into my straight-presenting relationship and the hypothetical non-monogamous sex and love I was open to having with imaginary future people of indiscriminate gender.

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What's the protocol for family photos with future in-laws?

I've been dating my partner for about two and a half years and we're definitely on the road to marriage. He's very close with his family and they are currently planning some family photos with my partner's immediate family and his brother's family (wife and kids). Since we're not married, it feels weird to be part of their family's photos, especially when I haven't met them that many times (they live in another state).

Is it cool to have them take the photos without me? Is that even something you could safely suggest or should I just shut up and get in the picture?

How I made peace with the fact that I will never make my father happy

Realizing that I will never make my father happy was a very momentous revelation. And while I'm sure you're all very happy for me, I couldn't objectively understand the pressing urge to write my story. And yet, it wouldn't stop. I needed to get this realization out there.

And then I finally understood why…

1.6k

I don't know what I did wrong: What should I do?

It's confusing and hurtful, to say the least. But we've all been left with self-esteem issues, too — worried that we're capable of causing incredible damage to our loved ones, without even knowing it.

I suppose there's not much to be done, other than to discuss it amongst ourselves and go to therapy. But if anybody has a great idea for helping us make peace when you don't know what you did wrong, I'd definitely appreciate it.