Let’s have a magical make-believe party room decor porn date!

March 18 |

So here's what you need to know about me: I'm a huge tomboy. Not only did I manage to avoid learning to clean, I've never learned to decorate. I'm confident in my taste, but trying to put together a room full of things is hopeless. Oh, and I hate shopping.

However, I absolutely believe in the power of practice, so I've assigned myself this Friday task of putting together an imaginary room. Its difficulty is compounded by the use of damask and pink — a style and a color I think are quite attractive, but which are outside my decorating comfort zone.

We're having a meeting about this room, you and I, right now. It's a lady party (Dudes: if I can have a lady party, you can have a lady party, too. Get in here). We have this little white box of a room, kinda small, wood floors and a big window. We want a room in which we can throw a Marie Antoinetteesque bash. We've cut out this photo from a magazine and pinned it to our inspiration board.

little pink chandelier
Photo by Shimelle Laine, used under Creative Commons license.

And we've decided, why not start with a pink chandelier? Nothing says "rococo party room" like an extravagant light fixture. (You can click on either photos or text if you'd like to learn more about the item.)

There was an Incident with the ladder we used to hang the chandelier, but the wiring went okay. Just as we completed installing the fixture, FedEx arrived with our package of fancypants wallpaper.

Awesome. We crank up some Britney Spears or something (maybe Sabbath instead?) and our little room becomes a veritable movie montage as we slather on wallpaper paste and smooth out our sheets of silver and pink damask paper.

When we're done, we look around and rejoice that the two hardest parts are done! Now for the fun stuff! We roll out a simple 8×10 beige rug that covers most of the hardwood, and we're ready to cart in the sofa.

I picked out the sofa without you — just wait till you see it! It's amazing.

You're not sure about it? Really? But it's shiny silver leather! It's the best thing I've ever seen. Maybe you'll feel different when we bring out the throw pillows we've ordered.

Good. I'm glad the queen pillow has settled your feelings on the sofa. I thought you'd love it, too. We'll add a couple of these flower pillows.

We turn to the large windows, and dress them with our black and white damask drapes.

And now it's YOUR turn for a surprise! You've picked out a centerpiece for the little party room: a stainless steel portable fireplace.

We're almost done! We set up our shimmery, silvery lamp, hang a lovely rococo mirror on the wall to add light and depth, some black and white pottery on an end table, and when everything is settled, I run the vacuum and you hang the last touch: a brown owl print we bought on Etsy.

Britney's album has finished, we're exhausted, and we pour two of those HUGE glasses of wine and chillax on the couch. Good work, yo. We made an awesome room. Hope I didn't forget anything! Did I?

  1. I can't believe the stuff you Americans can buy on Amazon! A couch? Wow! Canada, as usual, is getting the short end of the stick.

    7 agree
    • Isn't it nuts? I make an effort to buy as much as I can locally, but I loooooooove Amazon for its variety. It's a struggle every day. 😉

      1 agrees
    • OMG I know! I'm so pissed that there's all this great stuff on Amazon…and then it's like, "NOPE SORRY! You live in Canada? SUCKS TO BE YOU! Hohohoho!" It's not like there's a giant ocean separating us… *le sigh*

      Also, I want everything in this post. Maybe I can convince my fiance to have a super girly room in the house…except less Britney and more Lady Gaga.

      2 agree
      • could you ever imagine living in a place that is separated from the US by a giant ocean? I hardly EVER order stuff online because of shipping.
        "wow, what a great deal on [stuff]! Oh man, shipping just triples the price, not worth it!"
        Online orders, therefore, are from my country only.

        Damn shipping!

        2 agree
          • I know the feeling! But I've found a way to work around it – I ask for advanced notice if I know anyone going to America, then I order online and ship stuff to wherever they are staying (hotel, family, couchsurfing, whateves). And when they come back, they bring it over! And I shower them with love and back massages cuz sometimes their luggage gets a bit heavy cuz of my stuff lol

        • I swear though, some stuff it's actually just cheaper to pay the shipping

  2. Loving this post!
    God is this site fantastic, between the advice about mattress protectors, the container gardens and this I am in love. 🙂

    2 agree
  3. Sooo funny I have those damask drapes!! I bought the fabric to use as a background at my wedding then made them into drapes for my living room!! BTW I bought the fabric on Queen St in Toronto 🙂

    • Thats too funny. I bought the same fabric off a discount bolt at my local fabric store for $2.00 a meter. I made drapes out of it for our spare bedroom and a killer halloween costume too.

  4. I love the idea behind the pieces (especially the chandelier), but that is way, way too much pink for me, especially with the wallpaper. I'm definitely bookmarking this for the drapes, the throw pillows, and couch (OMG the couch)!

  5. I have a room that is totally blank (oh, except we bought the sofa set without you), hardwood floors and a big window. If I send you a bit of an idea of what we are thinking and a photo… Do you or readers want to find such awesomeness for us? It is the only room I am totally struggling with getting any sort of design and decor.

    2 agree
    • Eff. Yes.

      (I should alllllso do this for myself at some point with the empty rooms that actually exist in my house.)

      • Y'all should do this weekly. Someone's blank room with their basic ideas and go with it!

        3 agree
        • I definitely love the idea of reader submissions for room suggestions and the readers can comment with ideas. Absolutely yes yes yes.

          1 agrees
  6. Actually, sorry, I think you may have forgotten something:

    They build it up just to burn it back down
    They build it up just to burn it back down
    The wind is blowing all the ashes around
    Oh my dear god what is that horrible song they're singing
    Rococo, rococo, rococo, rococo
    Rococo!
    Rococo!
    (Rococo)
    (Rococo)
    Rococo! [etc.]

    Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I cannot hear, see, or otherwise be exposed to the word "Rococo" without singing the Arcade Fire now… Which makes me glad (although also sad) that I don't have such a room in my house!

    1 agrees
  7. Oooooh, I remember back when I was on OBB back in the day, and we used to do inspiration boards for our wedding style. Youknow what would be an awesome feature on here? I'd love to see any inspiration boards people did for their rooms, and then what the room actually ended up looking like. A sort of plan/reality breakdown, and how the plan evolved over time. I love seeing/hearing about process.

    Or…am I the only one who habitually makes inspiration boards for their home decorating?

    I cant be the ONLY one, right? They're so useful.

    3 agree
  8. Why not buy a couch from Amazon? I got my bookshelves there (and will hopefully soon purchase a kitchen!), and we're in boring old Germany!

    What a scary room. ^^

  9. Cute Ideas but I am not a PINK kind of girl. I have just de-pinked 1/2 our house … the last owner was channeling some Mary Kay spirit … everything was pink. Ick!

Join the conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

No-drama comment policy

Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.