Recent Posts

This web series shows the challenges of adopting as a queer couple in our foster system

I recently watched season one of a web series called The F Word: A Foster-to-Adopt Story, which follows a queer couple, filmmaker Nicole Opper and her partner Kristan, on their foster-to-adopt journey. You'll see a whole lot of challenges faced by both adoptive parents and foster children and their families.

Opper has launched a crowdfunding campaign to make season two happen, and they're actually super close to funding the campaign…

Art with a cause: political art to strengthen your space

A whole bunch of us are embracing the idea that it's time to stop being silent about the politics and causes for which we care deeply, especially when it comes to affecting change among our own small communities. This means we're getting less shy about advocating for our causes publically, including in our own homes. I've compiled a big set of art prints and decor that you can use to celebrate and share your strong feels about our current world.

A crusty ex-radical's guide to cleaning and minimalism

My parents were hoarders and I lived in activist and or hippie/punk collective situations for about seven years, and now I even have a kid creating extra filth to clean up after. You can recover from being a huge mess and keep your rad politics if you want. Or you can just be a bitter crusty ex-radical like I am, but you can change. If I can do it, you can do it.

Here's my advice for other broke-ass radical types who think that maybe it might be possible not to live in filth…

Growing up Southern as a lesbian late bloomer

When you're raised in a way that shields you from anything that's different, it really alters your ability to think outside of the small little box that's your world. Had I met someone when I was younger who was gay or bisexual, maybe there would have been bells and whistles going off and I wouldn't have been clueless for so long. Who knows? But I was blind for a very very long time. I met a guy who I married, had a couple of kids, and that's how the story was supposed to go…

…only it didn't.

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How I make it work as a dwarf parent

Being a dwarf parent has its own challenges, as I do some things differently in comparison to an average height person. There are also situations where I cannot always manage. Often I can be hard on myself and feel down about the fact I wish I could do more in the way of being able to pick Zelda up and carry her around when needed. I’m blessed to have my wife's patience, as she reassures me that I am doing enough.

Here are a few things that we do to make it easier on everyone…

Recent Home

Art with a cause: political art to strengthen your space

A whole bunch of us are embracing the idea that it's time to stop being silent about the politics and causes for which we care deeply, especially when it comes to affecting change among our own small communities. This means we're getting less shy about advocating for our causes publically, including in our own homes. I've compiled a big set of art prints and decor that you can use to celebrate and share your strong feels about our current world.

A crusty ex-radical's guide to cleaning and minimalism

My parents were hoarders and I lived in activist and or hippie/punk collective situations for about seven years, and now I even have a kid creating extra filth to clean up after. You can recover from being a huge mess and keep your rad politics if you want. Or you can just be a bitter crusty ex-radical like I am, but you can change. If I can do it, you can do it.

Here's my advice for other broke-ass radical types who think that maybe it might be possible not to live in filth…

SEATTLE EVENT: Witches, Sluts, Feminists on November 16, 2017

I'm hosting a discussion in Seattle with Kristen Sollee, the author of Witches, Sluts, Feminists: Conjuring the Sex Positive. I knew from the second I saw the cover of this book that I needed to have it (the cover is basically the seo keywords of my life these days), and then when I contacted Kristen to talk to her about it… it turned out we'd featured her fucking wedding on Offbeat Bride back in the day! Sometimes it feels like Offbeat Bride is like Kevin Bacon for weird married people — you're odd and have planned a wedding, we're probably connected somehow.

Last minute no-carve pumpkin ideas for Halloween (geeky, chic, or cute as hell!)

It's almost Halloween, you've got kids coming over (or adults for pumpkin-flavored cocktails!), and you're so not in the mood to start carving and de-gooping pumpkins. I'll be honest, I'm almost never in the mood, outside of when I can roast those seeds. Yum.

But if you're not down with pulling out pumpkin guts and want something a little shmancier than simply painting them one color, here are some rock 'n' roll, glam AF, and easy as (pumpkin) pie no-carve pumpkin ideas…

Killer Halloween home decor finds to get seriously spooky

When I saw this illusion ghost pillow, I knew my current Halloween decor had no chill. It's upgrade time, y'all. I'm talking vintage Halloween goods, channeling horror movies, creepy cute prints, and wall decals you'll have to pry from my cold, dead hands. Those are going up year-round!

Halloween's-a-coming, so let's go see what killer Halloween home decor we can add to our earlier-each-year decorating repertoire…

Recent Life

The best breakup movies to soothe your broken heart (or stoke your rage)

When you're reeling from a recent breakup, sometimes you just need some quality time with your favorite (or new-to-you!) breakup movies. You can feel all the feels with a sad romance, get empowered to find your fresh start, or get your rage on with a good revenge fantasy. Whatever your aim, there's a movie to quench the thirst.

Grab some gelato and peruse our huge list of movies to soothe your poor hurt heart…

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My Halloween regret: I used to wear cultures as costumes

Halloween may be a day permitting mitigated inhibitions, but our ethical responsibilities do not get a day off. I speak on this point as someone personally guilty of this specific kind of oversight. At one point in my young adult life, I costumed-up for the holiday as a cultural stereotype, and to this day I look back at what should be cute pictures of fun memories, but instead… I cringe at my offensive choice (and rightly so). I am guilty of perpetuating the social norm that appropriating cultures to which we do not belong and of whose complexities we do not comprehend is somehow acceptable.

Building an independent daily spiritual practice

For me, my daily spiritual practice is a pretty personal, private thing. It makes me a little squeamish to share what I'm doing, but I've invested a lot of time into developing my personal spiritual practice this year, and so maybe sharing what I'm doing will be interesting to other folks on their own solo spiritual journeys…

Recent Food

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Throw this creepy but elegant goth dinner party

When planning this super creepy goth dinner party, I wanted to avoid the kitschy, usual food you see at Halloween parties: the hot dog "fingers," the mummy pigs in a blanket… I wanted food that was elegant and still tasty!

These are the creepy things I will serve you if you ever come to eat at my house…

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Meat eaters and vegetarians CAN happily live together

When my meat eating husband asked me to move in with him his biggest anxiety wasn't about splitting bills, or any of the other typical issues that new couples worry about. His major worry was about my vegetarianism, and how he could go about eating what he wanted to without upsetting me.

I've never made a big deal out of him eating meat. However, when he brings meat into our home, there are a few things I ask him to do to make me more comfortable with it…

Recent People

This web series shows the challenges of adopting as a queer couple in our foster system

I recently watched season one of a web series called The F Word: A Foster-to-Adopt Story, which follows a queer couple, filmmaker Nicole Opper and her partner Kristan, on their foster-to-adopt journey. You'll see a whole lot of challenges faced by both adoptive parents and foster children and their families.

Opper has launched a crowdfunding campaign to make season two happen, and they're actually super close to funding the campaign…

Growing up Southern as a lesbian late bloomer

When you're raised in a way that shields you from anything that's different, it really alters your ability to think outside of the small little box that's your world. Had I met someone when I was younger who was gay or bisexual, maybe there would have been bells and whistles going off and I wouldn't have been clueless for so long. Who knows? But I was blind for a very very long time. I met a guy who I married, had a couple of kids, and that's how the story was supposed to go…

…only it didn't.

1.3k

How I make it work as a dwarf parent

Being a dwarf parent has its own challenges, as I do some things differently in comparison to an average height person. There are also situations where I cannot always manage. Often I can be hard on myself and feel down about the fact I wish I could do more in the way of being able to pick Zelda up and carry her around when needed. I’m blessed to have my wife's patience, as she reassures me that I am doing enough.

Here are a few things that we do to make it easier on everyone…

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Gifts for long distance friends to say you miss the shit out of them

Got a friend moving away? Going to college? Teaching abroad? Or maybe you're in a long distance relationship that needs some care via air mail? Whatever the case, sometimes you want to send some love, some cheer, some sympathy, or an "I cannot wait to see your fucking face" to someone far away.

We've got postal service than can deliver your feelings (be they card, food, or booze variety) to anywhere you want. I went a-hunting to see if I could find some suitably awesome gifts for long distance friends to give you some ideas.

How to reach out to a friend with social anxiety

I have a friend with severe social anxiety and depression. He lives with his mom now, doesn't leave the house, and I (and all of our shared friends) haven't seen him in about two years. All of our attempts to email/call/visit haven't worked and he won't reply. I know he's in therapy, but I'd love to help him if I can.

Is there any way I can reach out in a way that would feel safe for him?

Recent Pets

Start your own colony: 8 benefits of keeping exotic invertebrates as pets

Whether you want something short-lived, cheap-to-buy and easily looked after by your kids, or you want something clean, silent and scent-free to brighten up your home, you could do a lot worse than diving into the wonderful world of pet invertebrates. You might even discover a new passion that you never realized you even had!

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"Where grief and celebration meet": This end of life pet photo session will break and warm your heart

Beth pulled me aside in her veterinary practice and with tears in her eyes told me that she'd found a mass on Sawyer. It would not be long until he was gone. She wanted photos to capture his unique spirit, before he passed.

In Beth's grief journey, she made a bucket list for Sawyer and brazenly checked every goddamn thing off of it twice. So we set to making the bucket list part of the photo celebration of his life…

Planned Parrothood: Here's what we learned from our 14 pet birds

Before we knew it, we'd accumulated 14 pet birds before our first two years together. Many of them were rescue birds that didn't have anywhere else to go.

Sharing your home with so many birds is a learning experience, especially when many of them have behavioral issues that come with being neglected earlier in life. But we wouldn't trade our life with parrots for anything. Here's what we've learned about owning a parrot…

How to throw a pawsitively perfect dog birthday party

If you think that pets are part of the family, why not throw them birthday parties, too!? Don't worry if you don't know your pet's actual birthdate, you can celebrate their "gotcha day" or "adoptiversary"!

Here's how to plan the perfect party for your pet…

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Did you know that litter box services exist!?

Maybe you're like me and you're sick of cleaning litter boxes. Or maybe you have an illness that sucks up all of your energy. (If you have limited spoons, do you really want to use them on cleaning?) Or maybe you're running a business and raising kids and taking care of your parents and volunteering and you literally don't have time to clean litter boxes. I'm here to tell you that you have options…

Recent Do It Yourself

Last minute no-carve pumpkin ideas for Halloween (geeky, chic, or cute as hell!)

It's almost Halloween, you've got kids coming over (or adults for pumpkin-flavored cocktails!), and you're so not in the mood to start carving and de-gooping pumpkins. I'll be honest, I'm almost never in the mood, outside of when I can roast those seeds. Yum.

But if you're not down with pulling out pumpkin guts and want something a little shmancier than simply painting them one color, here are some rock 'n' roll, glam AF, and easy as (pumpkin) pie no-carve pumpkin ideas…

The cold never bunny'd me anyway: How to DIY this Elsa bunny for Easter

I'm knitting Easter bunnies for my daughters and nephews this year. I decided that rather than get each kid a new stuffed bunny each year (which is what we've done up to this point) I'd just make them new clothes each year.

Since my two year old nephew is completely obsessed with Frozen (and really all Disney princesses) I decided to make him an Elsa Bunny…

Recent Shopping

Art with a cause: political art to strengthen your space

A whole bunch of us are embracing the idea that it's time to stop being silent about the politics and causes for which we care deeply, especially when it comes to affecting change among our own small communities. This means we're getting less shy about advocating for our causes publically, including in our own homes. I've compiled a big set of art prints and decor that you can use to celebrate and share your strong feels about our current world.

Budget-friendly & actually fashionable(!) maternity clothing? You need to meet Australia's Glama Mama

Hey pregnant mamas: we've got an inside track to some affordable, comfortable, and actually fashionable maternity clothing. Instead of feeling like you're in someone else's clothing that isn't you at all, you'll actually want to wear these. Like outside, in public… since they'll make you look good.

Glama Mama is an Australian-based maternity clothing company who ships to all major cities and regional areas in Australia for free!

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Behold the most absurdly cute purses that you can actually buy

I have had the same large wallet since college and it finally broke. So sheeet, I needed to know buy a new purse. I still haven't found The One yet, but I sure did find about a million that I wanted to buy. The world of absurdly cute purses is vast and eye-popping. I figured I'd share a few of my favorites in case you too are in search of a statement clutch, purse, or wallet to let everyone know that you too are a 12-year-old at heart.

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