I am woman hear me ROAR!

September 29 | Guest post by Mariella Davey

Lincoln Roy birthI had a geeky list next to me timing contractions. Real labor or false alarm, I didn't know? Contractions started at 5am and were about four minutes apart.

My man Excel lay snoring next to me, oblivious for the next hour. He woke at 6am and I told him he should stay home from work today. I could have slapped him when he suggested he work a 1/2 day at the butchery.

I worked up until a few hours before I dropped! As well as normal jobs, we worked nights and weekends in the motel our house was attached to. Excel started work in the motel for me that morning and we both made the breakfasts for the guests!

I definitely did not take the breakfasts out to them though, there would have been a shitload of broken eggs along the path if I had!

Is it weird that during contractions all the control freak in me could think of was 'I hope Excel is doing everything right in the motel reception'? Why was he even working on reception?

We had rung the managers and neither of them answered their phones. Nice, thanks guys! "We'll be there for you" WHATEVER! Finally got through to one boss and he said for Excel to just keep working and when I need to go to hospital he would come in to relieve us…are you kidding me!?

Anyways…we rang the hospital and they didn't want me to come in yet. I was only getting about 30 seconds of rest between each contraction but what they do is chat to you on the phone and if you sound ok then they tell you to stay home a bit longer. That's sweet but what if you sound calm on the phone?

They were about to hang up the phone and then they could hear me chucking up in the background (stupid, but at what other time in life do you make yourself spew louder so people can hear you!?) so they said I could come in…Woop woop I'd been accepted!

Didn't want to bend to get shoes on so just carried them and we were off. I closed my eyes the entire drive because I didn't want to see all the near accidents we might have, and to be honest I didn't want to see how long it was taking to get there if that makes sense.

At 12:30pm we got to the centre and I stripped off (oh modesty, where art thou?), straight in the shower. It was pure bliss! The Birth Centre I went to is a part of the hospital but believe in more natural ways so they pretty much leave you to it. The main hospital is right next door if you need an epidural, c-section, etc.

After a few hours in the shower by myself I just knew it was time. Talk about being at one with my body! It was amazing. I called Excel and told him baby would be here soon and he could get the midwives.

He asked, "Are you sure I should get them?" Stupid question, and it pissed me off at the time, but I had actually considered just popping the baby out by myself. Cocky or what?

Anyways, I said, "Yes my man, please get the nurses!" During the entire labor he had just been sitting out in the room eating and watching TV. Cruisy, huh? I hadn't planned to labor alone, and imagined and had planned for him to be there with me, but I guess until you are in labor you don't know. I just wanted to concentrate on my body and not stupid things like if he was rubbing my back the right way!

I thought…this baby will come out in three big pushes, blow me away and screw me sideways. Three pushes later through the ring of fire our little monkey boy was born into Excel's hands!

I looked down at my deflated stomach and thought, "Now that's a sad looking belly!" It had been so beautiful and round and now it just hung there looking so sad, like "Shit, my job's done, I'll just hang here". Even a year later thinking of that moment of looking at my deflated tummy brings back sad memories!

You know how women go on about their instant joy and love for their babies? I looked at my baby and the very first thing that I thought was "Wow, he looks like a little cone-headed gorilla baby!" I felt ripped off that those were my first thoughts and feelings!

I am woman, hear me ROAR!
I am woman, hear me ROAR!
Lincoln Roy was born after five what they call "active hours of labour", 7 pounds something. Yay me. For days after giving birth all I could say in my mind was "I am woman, hear me ROAR!" I've never told anyone that so you better feel special people!

OK, don't know if it's asked for but thought I would give you my advice: Calm down on the pregnancy books and baby forums! I read not one pregnancy book, not because I wanted to be ignorant but because they scare the shit outta me!

If I had a problem during the pregnancy I would look it up but no way did I want to read about all the things that could go wrong. I visited one baby forum, they talked crap about all sorts of disgusting things that made me feel sick and yeah…no thanks!

Also…Trust yourself! Your body is freaking amazing….KNOW IT!!! I had spent YEARS thinking of when I got pregnant how horrible labor would be.

When I actually was pregnant if I thought of the labor I told myself to snap out of it. I figured my body was designed for this. If I had to have a c-section or whatever then so be it. No point in worrying, we have better things to do… like visit Offbeat websites! ๐Ÿ™‚

  1. Love it! My doula would say that you are a BIRTH WARRIOR! I love your attitude towards pregnancy and birth, and I'll remember it whenever I feel myself getting anxious and neurotic.

    • oooh, I like that! Birth Warrior has a nice ring to it! Thanks for your comment Nancy!

  2. whoop whoop, I agree, getting to know our bodies helps us to also have confidence in our instincts and also in ourselves!!! I hear you ROAR!!!

    from one kiwi woman to another!!! enjoy the rest of your journey!

    • Yay, love knowing others Kiwi's are visiting these sites! Thanks Lena. It is so true to trust your body and just tune in with your instincts ( I know, I know… not so easy when there is pain involved!). Another tip as well is I wrote a note for my man to give to the nurses… "Pain relief/birth: As natural as possible: Water immersion, shower, massage, breathing techniques. I hope to avoid but will ask for gas if required. I do not want any drugs offered to me. I will ask if I need them."

  3. Love your birth story! I had one medicalized birth (needed it for pre-e) and one natural beautiful amazing journey and it changed my life. Good for you, mama!

    • Thanks Cheri, I am so happy that you experienced such a wonderful natural birth as well!

  4. I laughed at your "cone-head gorilla" comment. I remember my aunt and I talking about babies and stuff and she told me that when she gave birth to her first kid, her first thought was, oh my god this cone-head baby is SO UGLY! i thought that was HILARIOUS and so down to Earth. I'd never heard anyone else admit that they had even so much as thought anything like that when handed a fresh baby. so kudos to you! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. You're awesome! I hope I can be so laid back when I get around to birthing babies.

    Your cone-head thoughts about your baby remind me of my sister's first comment about her "lumpy-headed" daughter – she was jealous of all the cone-headed naturally-birthed babies at the hospital and was sad that her emergency c-section baby was so "deformed!"

    • That's so funny, 'cuz its usually the opposite with C-Section babies! Everyone told me that the one benefit of my c-section was that my daughter came out with a perfect head. LOL.

  6. Love your story. I'm 40 but giving birth to my two children is still the most empowering thing I have ever done!

    and PS- I didn't think my daughter was a beautiful baby until she was around 7 months old! O.O She is a beautiful 14 yo young woman now though.

    • Empowering is the perfect word to sum up how I felt and feel! Thanks Mim.

  7. How cool is it that this website has reached right to NZ? That's where I'm posting from too! Congratulations on your birth and the way you handled it, what is up with your manager though? Unbelievable! Glad everything was safe and peaceful for you in the end.

    • I know! lol The Managers I thought were the most supportive turned out to be the least helpful when it came to crunch time! I still think it is weird that they told my man just to keep working!

  8. I STILL have moments when I think back on my un-medicated birth experience and think "I am woman, hear me roar!" It is just too appropriate in this situation! Woman are the shit, eh?

    • Yay for natural births! Congrats Jasmine and yup… woman are the shit ๐Ÿ˜‰

  9. I love this story! I feel a little more at ease…considering i am one who has read all the books and all the websites and just scared the crap out of myself.. I still have a couple more week before my little girl is due, but i will think back on if you can still make breakfeast and stay calm then i should have nothing to be freaking out about just yet.

    • Thanks Amy, all the best with your birthing experience and little girl. One thing that helped me was the thought of the more I pushed… the closer I was to getting baby out! The worst part for me was the distractions of the motel… we had a buzzer that would go off in our house if people came through the reception door!….I think those were the only times I really resembled a raging bull! lol

  10. Hear me ROAR…….., what a woman! The best part of it all has to be that this roaring young woman happens to be the babe I gave birth to all those many moons ago. I don't think she came out with a cone or whatever shape her head came out as…… but I thought I had given birth to the best ever looking babe!
    Her man is one of the best and the little baby gorilla is the cutest. This mama couldn't have been more proud of this beautiful beautiful woman. P/s I have another one like it as well!

    1 agrees
  11. I remember being sad about my deflated tummy and missing pregnancy while nursing my son. Such a silly thing to cry over!

    Labor with my son (who is 16 now) was unmedicated and I had no clue about what would happen. My body took over and I let it. The pushing part was awesome. There was the haze of transition and then suddenly everything was clear and my focus was on the pushing!

    This time around the baby is much larger than my son had been and the closer I get to my due date, the more panicky I begin to feel about having to push.

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