Real talk lessons from the first year of marriage

Six months in, amidst the busy chaos of our lives I find myself thinking back to this summer when we were road tripping through a foreign country with nothing but sight seeing on the agenda. I long to have completely full days of her and I. But, like all good things, the honeymoon had to come to an end. I have always read the first year of marriage is the hardest. Together, you work on finding a rhythm and finding your place in their world. The first year is a balancing act and I have learned a few things so far I thought I would share…

To my (unhappily) single friends on Valentine's Day

To my unhappily single friends on Valentine's Day (happily single friends, you won't need this one!): I love you. I wish I could look you in the eyes and tell you, without a doubt, that someday the void you feel today will be filled in exactly the way you want it to be. That if you just stop looking for a partner, one will find you. Bliss will be forever yours. I know we both wish the future was as predictable and happy-ending filled as a movie.

I think perhaps this May, on Mother's Day, I will feel the same way you do today. Last Mother's Day I was blissfully looking forward to becoming a mother; a month later I lost that pregnancy.

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Projections: falling in love with ourselves through what we see in others

Projecting on people, when it's blind, is pretty unkind. But if can catch yourself projecting — it's actually a hugely useful tool for self reflection. If you can be awake enough to the illusion to understand that the real issue isn't really about the other person, but WHAT you're projecting on that person… then you gain access to some remarkable insight into your own values, your own growth edges, and your own story.

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The year I started dating god with a lowercase g

Last year I started dating god.

This sounds insane in maybe 10 different ways, especially for ME to say, since for most of my life, my spirituality boiled down to don't know, don't care!¬†… but it's probably the most accurate description of happened for me this past year. Of course I'm talking about "god" lower case non-denominational, so maybe it's a little less surprising than if the story here was "Offbeat Bride lady raised by hippies goes evangelical," but still.

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Meeting the other woman helped me overcome my divorce

Ordering my coffee, she is right behind me. I can feel the nerves in the air and her eyes on my back. This is not a first date or a job interview, but it is the first time in my life I have been the bigger person and put my hurt aside. On this day, I sat down with the woman my husband left me for. The woman who he kept secret from me, the woman who turned my world upside down on one awful fall day, the woman that my now four-year-old calls her second mom.