7 things I have learned about relationships (since my divorce)
It has been interesting, over the last two years or so, to be an outsider in the relationship world. The dust has settled on my divorce, I have had time to reflect on things, and it is so much easier to see certain situations from an emotionally detached vantage point.
Being fat isn’t a sex-life death sentence: how to be body positive in the bedroom
Confession: I was a covers-pulled-up-to-my-chin, lights-off, minimize-jiggling-however-possible lover. I hated my nude body. I used to think somehow that if my partner couldn’t see the parts of me that I didn’t like, (s)he’d magically not know about them. Then, I met a partner who finally called me out on it. That’s the moment I had my great epiphany: Being fat isn’t automatically a sex-life death sentence; it’s SO possible to have mind-blowing sex and be overweight
My vagina physically aches & 5 other unedited, unfiltered, shitty pregnancy truths
In an effort to self-disclose and move toward a pregnancy culture where we can share our shit and bare our souls beyond the excitement of impending motherhood, I give you my current, unedited, unfiltered, list of pregnancy truths.
4 secrets for surviving a long-distance friendship
This March, my best friend packed up her life in Massachusetts, and she, her husband, and their two dogs set off on an adventure to Hawaii. So what do you do when one of your besties moves 5,000 miles away? It took a little while, but over the past several months we’ve figured out some ways to stay connected.
“He’s not my husband, he’s her husband, but we all really want a loan together”: Life as a long-term polyamorist
I have been following the recent stories on polyamorous relationships, both on Offbeat Home and elsewhere, and saying a silent “hallelujah.” I’ve been in a polyfidelitous triad (like a marriage but with three people) for thirteen years, but have never found the strength or the venue to start a larger conversation about long-term polyamorist relationships. But given how long the three of us have been together, I feel like I can offer some useful tidbits of advice and some observations on living a life that exists on the fringes but still in the mainstream.
Learning to be loved by my mother-in-law
My husband and I have been married for a couple of years now and we recently decided to “take the plunge” into the waters of living with his mom, my mother-in-law. When I instantly found myself uncomfortable and lost in this new living space, I was surprised and confused by my feelings. I was embarrassingly confused and mad at myself for acting unintentionally cold to her — unable to find the words to explain to my husband as to why I was feeling this way, because I didn’t even understand myself.
What to say to a formerly child-free person who is now pregnant
I am a self-professed child-free lady. A fellow child-free friend recently announced she was unexpectedly pregnant. I can tell she’s feeling pretty rattled and struggling with the sudden change in life plans. As a fellow child-freer in a similarly stable life situation, I want to empathize and be there for her and give her a break from all the squee-ing, but I don’t want to be a downer. What can I say to her?
How to share BDSM with a vanilla partner
I wanted my man to be assertive and to take charge. I wanted to be swept off my feet by our romantic encounters. Malik, however, is a sub. He wanted me to take charge. He wanted me to be commanding, to dominate him. I had no experience with that whatsoever. He wanted to be paddled, blindfolded, gagged. And he wanted to do all of this with me. If your partner wants you to try something new, be it anal play, bondage, role play, ice cubes, or anything else, here are a few tips I learned from exploring the world of BDSM as a vanilla partner.