593

Tattoos, photo shoots, and lessons learned since my marriage ended

It was such an exciting time in my life, getting engaged, planning my amazing offbeat wedding and enjoying the day. Then I was thrown a curveball a year and three months after our wedding date… My husband came home and told me he wanted a divorce. The thing is, I have learned so many valuable lessons from this experience, ones that I would not have had the opportunity to learn if life had not unfolded this way.

553

I'm not sure if I'm a virgin, or if I'll ever have sex again… and I'm happy

Asexual or demisexual is as close to "accurate" as I'm going to get for a label, I think. I have a sex drive, I have sexual fantasies, I masturbate, I can imagine being sexually attracted to someone I knew and trusted, but if my future self figures out time-travel and drops me a note to inform me that I'm never going to get laid, I would be a lot more interested in the implications for free will than I would be distressed at the thought of never having sex again.

186

3 things you can start doing today to keep your relationship fresh

I've been with my hunk of a husband for 8½ years. I'm often asked how we keep it fun and lively. How do we always seem to be happier than a turtle on a skateboard? I could respond with the bland, basic answer of being a good listener, going on dates, and sharing life goals. And if you look up "how to keep a marriage fresh," those are usually the kinds of answers you'll find. That stuff works, but I like a more creative approach. Here are the three unconventional ways I keep my relationship fresh and fun…

35

I need to stop measuring success by how many friends I have

I've never had a great time of making friends at all in my life. I had a bit of a meltdown about this recently, thinking about how I have so few friends. I lamented, "I wish I was just at the stage of my life where I didn't care anymore. Where I didn't measure personal success by how many friends I have."

129

Growing up and letting go of obsolete relationship dynamics

My sister is amazing with people, confident and outgoing and extraordinarily empathetic. And me? Well, I was the best at logistics. I always had two sets of lunch money in case my sister forgot hers (which was often useful), and contingency plans for every situation. As we grew up and left home the relationship dynamic stayed the same. Then, last year, we had a family crisis, and I realized that the dynamic had shifted, and I needed to shift as well.