My husband and I have been married for two years now and with him being active duty, he is gone for months at a time and in a demanding and high-stress work environment. Naturally, as you might expect, the fullness of our sex life dissipated. I was feeling neglected and dissatisfied with the few times we did have sex, and never seemed to have a constructive conversation about sex, until now…
This is Offbeat Home's archive of Relationships posts.
Let's talk about our partners, and how we negotiate sharing our homes and lives with them.
My partner and I are atheists, so I feel a little confused when some of the über-Christian marriage advice resonates with me. I've been reading it because I enjoy reading things that make me think about our relationship and how to keep it strong. But all of it is supposed to be "Christ-centered." Do I really have to be a Christian or otherwise spiritual to have a strong connection to my partner? Do I have to pray to a deity in order to be a good wife and build up my husband? Should I convert in order to save my marriage!? (Okay, I'm exaggerating.)
Maybe it's because, save for a handful of first and second dates, I've been single for five years and used to making my own way. Maybe it's because I'm in inching towards my mid-thirties and my perspective has changed. Maybe it's because he and I work in the same field and, therefore, the same income bracket and I have a rough idea of how much he makes. Or maybe it's just my strong sense of independence and feminist ideals… Whatever it is, I suddenly find myself in a position where after half a decade of buying my own dinners and buying my own drinks, I have a man buying them for me. And having a man buying them for me feels, well, odd.
My name is Sullie, and my partner and I live below the poverty line. What's more, my partner is unemployed and will likely remain that way for the rest of our lives together. So why am I okay with this? Because my partner's health issues are chronic and difficult to manage. Here are our steps to living below the poverty line on a single income…
Even if you're not using it to run, empowering, upbeat music could help get you through something like a breakup (or a job rejection, or almost any disappointment) and remember how awesome you are. These tracks are more about loving yourself, surviving, not needing anyone else, or feeling powerful, and less about hating an ex. I'm going to share some up-tempo, self-empowering songs, then I'll open it up to the Homies and see what they suggest.
I saw the Offbeat Bride post about showing off tattoos in your wedding dress. It got me thinking about one of my tattoos. Specifically, the matching tattoo my ex and I got years before I met my husband. Then I got to thinking… I wonder how many other Homies carry around tattoos or pieces of their exes through their relationships?
When I say the word "passionate," I'm not talking about the down on your knees, overly-romantic type fanfare. I am referring to how I describe a person who is passionate about whatever specific interest they hold dear to their heart. Other words such as obsessive, driven, fanatical, and somewhat egotistical also come to mind. What if these tend to describe your partner?
I didn't know what to expect from friends and family, and strangers when I announced my divorce. I had kept many of my relationship "issues" away from family — not wanting to harm our image as a couple should we work things out — so it came as a surprise to some of them. Though, for the most part, family and friends (especially) have been supportive, there is a certain rhetoric around divorce that really started to bother me.