After we sign the paperwork, where do we go from here? Do we drift apart as adults and friends usually do or stay involved in each other's lives? Can we ever get past "what might have been" and move on to "this is where/who we are now"?
This is Offbeat Home's archive of Relationships posts.
Let's talk about our partners, and how we negotiate sharing our homes and lives with them.
Since the beginning of my sexual awakening (or when my high school boyfriend put his hands down my pants), I loved sex. Along with sex, my other interests are TV shows, movies, and books. There is a particular workplace sitcom that I adore and almost exclusively write for. The bridge between these interests is not a long one, and soon I was writing erotic fan fiction. And yes, after (a little) personal deliberation, I told my husband that I was a fan fiction writer. But I don't think the switch in our sex life really happened until he read My Really Long Fic.
Back in 2006 when I was working a full-time corporate job, while also trying to write what would become Offbeat Bride the book, I almost had a nervous breakdown. Desperate for some guidance and inspiration, I sent an email to my local hero, Dan Savage. His advice was basically that he owed it all to his partner. His then-partner? Terry Miller, who is now (thanks to Washington's marriage laws) Dan's husband. In the 10 years since I had this exchange, I've basically built my het marriage to emulate their gay marriage, and I'm convinced it's been the secret to everything being happy.
The idea is simple: After a break-up of two (or more) persons living together, there's often this person left behind to live in the "old house," filled with memories of happier times or painful fights. A good decoration therapy session is about making significant changes to this environment and it usually involves friends, booze and lots of fun.
Now that we've finally reached a level of experience and graduated from junior status, we are finding that our jobs require more of our effort and more of our time. So much so that by the end of the day we are both so zapped out that we can barely do the household things at home before collapsing in bed, which has totally killed our sex life! I'd love to hear how other Homies have managed to retain the energy and carve out the time for sex and intimacy when your jobs are demanding.
My ex and I started dating when I was 19, and we were together for seven years. That's a lot of Formative Time in a monogamous relationship. Now I'm single. And being single is awesome. Dating is also awesome. …Kind of. Sometimes? Well, it's definitely a thing, and it's new to me. So, I decided to try out some dating sites. What a trip.
A dear friend of mine was all set to get married after getting engaged earlier this year, but recently ended the relationship and called off the wedding. I reached out to let her know I was there for her, and to let me know if I could do anything for her. But I just don’t know what to say to comfort her, especially as I plan my own wedding. Has anyone else experienced this? I’d love your insight on how I can help her out during this extremely trying time.
My fiance and I are from different cultural/religious background. He's Jewish, and the closest thing I have to a set religious upbringing is Catholicism. What we both have in common is a tendency towards atheism and skepticism. We had a number of discussions about various holidays, but there was one issue that we never could get resolved: Christmas.