I recently came home from a couple's therapy session that left me sweating through every layer of clothing that I had on. It dealt with the two things that I struggle with the most: emotions and the expressing of them. See, there's a reason why that guy I married calls me "Foxy Spocksy." We both believe that I'm part Vulcan.
This is Offbeat Home's archive of Relationships posts.
Let's talk about our partners, and how we negotiate sharing our homes and lives with them.
I am never quite sure how to introduce Steve to others. So to make everyone else more comfortable I usually say "This is my friend, Steve." It's just easier that way. As the relationship moves forward — be it a coworker, new friend, neighbor, etc — eventually they learn who Steve really is. Steve is my ex-husband. And after five years of this we STILL hear how "weird" it all is.
This was our first Christmas in our home and as a married couple. My husband spent almost the entire time talking about all the traditions we were going to start this year and do the same thing every year and how much fun our future kids were going to have and other happy joy joy type silliness. All I kept thinking; I just want to sit on my couch, watch "Downton Abbey," and forget about Christmas. My question: does all of this make me a Grinch? When I have kids, will I find the Christmas spirit or be even worse?
I got married a year ago and changed my name. Now, after a year of honest reflection, I can say that I don't like it. I'm currently putting out feelers on resuming the use of my maiden name and in the process, I am running into tons of negativity. Have any of you out there stayed married but went back to your maiden name? How did you handle any criticism or negative feedback? Did you feel better once it was done?
Preacher's wife. Teacher's wife. Accountant's wife. Huh? Yeah, I've been all three. And in the relatively short (five years) of marriage, I have found that with each career change my husband embarks on, I am challenged with re-learning how I perceive myself, my husband and our relationship.
I'm polyamorous. So is my boyfriend. And so is his girlfriend. And while polyamory seems to be a frequent topic of discussion right now, society as a whole lacks the vocabulary and the social scripts to navigate poly relationships. This is all a long way of saying I still have no idea how to describe my relationship with my boyfriend's girlfriend.
It's been an busy year for weddings. My partner and I are at that mid-late-twenties age when every couple around us seems to be rushing to the altar and starting families by their thirties. But my partner and I aren't among them. That decision is a comfortable one for us. It feels right. Despite our best efforts, however, that conviction does little to dispel the outside pressure that has been building around us.