The Holidays are coming: We dare you to send this hilarious "holiday application form" to your family this year!

Each year, The Holiday Conversations in our extended family starts in mid-July, when our little unit begins strategizing with our in-laws, to get out ahead of the game. It's preemptive damage control. Much like leaving a play-date en-masse, we like to present a united front when the parents-in-law begin sniffing around our holiday plans. Our plans for this year's Thanksgiving were already solidified weeks ago, but I'd like to share it here in case anyone finds it useful. I've updated it for the 2015 calendar year…


"Why do you smoke?"

I, like most people, know the risks and dangers associated with smoking. We should — we hear them often enough. So when a kid, who are often present at adult parties, asks me "Why do you smoke?" it becomes difficult to answer.


How to be a happy vampire in the sun

I have pale skin, and I enjoy having pale skin. I dislike the beach, tan lines, sun damage, and 100 degree heat. However, in mid-July, my husband and I will be staying for a week in a Galveston, Texas beach house. Do any of the Homies have advice for keeping the sun off while keeping cool? (Other than liberal application of sunscreen, of course.)