Let’s take a moment to fantasize about off-limits offbeat pets #Pets#animals January 4 | Cat Rocketship I grew up in the country. Pets were whatever I could bring home. I raised some baby mice, had a sand piper for a spell, and dreamed of having a pet raccoon like in Rascal. I'm a grown-ass lady now, and know that I would never, ever keep a non-domesticated animal as a pet (and now I understand why my parents were strict about making me set that sand piper free when she felt better). But it's still fun to have fantasy pets. There are too many amazing animals in the world NOT to imagine what it would be like living with them. I TOTALLY understand that wild animals are not pets. This is fantasy-land, where I also have a tail and very large yellow wings. But in fantasy-land, I have a pet tortoise: [youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XrYs5lwhjow?rel=0&w=560&h=315] And this little guy is SO CUTE but what I really want is a giant one. Like an Aldabra Giant Tortoise: Source: sunsurfer.tumblr.com via Mellissa on Pinterest Can I ride my fantasy tortoise like a very slow pony? I can. I'd also score myself a pet flying fox: Related Post My hairless cat smells like potatoes This is my cat, Oliver Star. He was named after our favorite cow. True story. No, no -- don't adjust your screens. He's a hairless... Read more Source: concretescarecrow.blogspot.com via Cat on Pinterest And feed it milkshakes all the time. I wouldn't kick a Fossa pup out of bed, either. Though they are related to civets, so they have scent glands and might make my bed smelly. But it's MY fantasy, so I'm going to have a Fossa who smells like flowers. Source: zooborns.com via Meg on Pinterest They also eat lemurs, and I am definitely opposed to lemurs, so I'd be glad to have an anti-lemur force in the home. I absolutely need a Capybara in my imaginary menagerie. Source: zooborns.com via Stephanie on Pinterest They're basically GIANT guinea pigs! Last — and definitely not least — what fantasy pet list would be complete without mention of an otter? Source: i.imgur.com via Erin on Pinterest I would name him Ollie and we would be best friends and my husband would never speak to me again because he'd be mad that our house smells like fish. Take a fiver and brainstorm your no-holds-barred fantasy pet — I want to hear. Since this is totally imaginary, unicorns, triceratops, and the like are TOTALLY allowed. Join our community! Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Cat Rocketship I was the Managing Editor of Offbeat Home for a year and a half. I have a rich Internet life and also a pretty good real life. Hobbies include D&D, Twitter, and working on making our household more self-reliant. I also draw things. PREVIOUS All about one queer family's experience with IVF and making babies NEXT What would you want to know about your child's birth mother? Show/Hide comments [ 126 ] I would definitely have: a sloth that loves to hug but would never accidentally stab me with it's nails, a slow loris who similarly likes to cuddle, a baby elephant that stayed a baby forever & never tires of playing in a kiddie pool in my back yard, a red panda to waddle about mischievously, and a zebra… you know, for riding to work. 9 agree Reply My sister and I were talking yesterday of having a pet baby elephant! I would put a baseball hat on him and get him a pet kitten to love. 3 agree Reply I almost puked a rainbow when I saw your list… add a gorilla and I'm all over your menagerie like butter on toast! Good choices all round there XD 4 agree Reply I once had to write a children's book in Chinese for school – I totally wrote about having a pet elephant that I could feed cake and peanuts and he could ride my skateboard! In my fantasy children's book world, I apparently could ride a skateboard without falling over on my uncoordinated ass…. 2 agree Reply Penguins! The ones that smell good and wear a bow tie and top hats. And while we're at it, tons and tons of basset hound puppies that never grow out of the puppy stage and love to cuddle. 5 agree Reply -A koala. A while back, an email went around about a koala coming into a house to get a drink during a drought. It was sad, but I couldn't stop looking at the pictures of him sitting happily in a basin of water they provided. They look so alien and cool! -Also, if I could shrink myself and breathe underwater, a seahorse! I would ride it around the ocean, probably in a herd of other seahorses. 3 agree Reply This comment just led me into a long amount of time looking up cute koala videos on youtube. OHMYGOSH. I think my fantasy pet would be exactly like my favorite pet rat Monty, only he'd be able to live forever and always hang out with me. He's gotten really old and I think he's close to dying and it's really got me very upset. 🙁 3 agree Reply I want the wonderpet duck in your gravatar. I'm sorry about your ratty. They are amazing little animals and it's a shame they don't last longer. 1 agrees Reply I'm going to insert my usual plug for chinchillas for ray owners who can't take the heartbreak of such short lived companions. Chins can have similar personalities as rats, and their lifespan is up to 20 years, with 10-15 being the average. Single males are best if you're looking for a true companion animal as they tend to bond more closely to a human friend in the absence of a mate. As for myself, I'd like my own island of wild ponies please! 2 agree Reply An Aye-Aye. They look like something developed in the Henson Creature Shop. 7 agree Reply Definitely a Fennec fox — those ears! Or a sloth for ultimate hugs. 5 agree Reply Meerkat. I want a meerkat to make me smile all day. 1 agrees Reply Naturally it would be the sweet, chubby kind to curl up in your lap and not the psycho kind like the one that chased me and tried to kill me in Namibia. Because I would also totally go for a sweet meerkat to make me smile. Reply Blue Whale. Hey if you're gonna dream, dream big right? I assume I'd have to own some type of ocean for it to live in, maybe a large sea, but damn that would be cool. And also I'd have a gold Pernese dragon called Alzaranth who I'd ride to work so I'd never be late again. (For those who don't know Pernese dragons can not only teleport but also time travel.) And a blue fire-lizard called Lopp. Back in the realm of real animals I'd also have slow loris because they're weird and awesome and a narwhal so I can show it to people who don't believe they exist. 3 agree Reply I desperately want a bronze fire-lizard. <3 Reply ANY fire lizard! Always, ALWAYS wanted one! 2 agree Reply And it would sing with me. 🙂 Reply I'll take a queen please 🙂 Reply No hesitation here: a house hippo. The thought of them make me smile! Making beds from drier fluff and leaving peanut butter hippo-tracks all over the house. So cute! 4 agree Reply This is EXACTLY what I was going to say! My husband e-mailed me this the other day to let me know that this is probably as close as I'll ever get: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itPDKIebAos&feature=player_embedded I'd give this guy peanut butter 😀 Reply A pocket lamb. This is exactly what it sounds like. A lamb small enough to fit in my pocket. I actually want this. It's now a running joke amongst friends. Also, one of those miniature pigs. Please. 1 agrees Reply oh a pocket lamb would be adorable. My friends and I have been joking about getting a pocket monkey since college. I mean how cute would it be to walk around with a cute little pygmy marmoset in your shirt pocket. Reply How bout a finger monkey! http://www.thisblogrules.com/2010/12/finger-monkeys-too-small-to-be-true.html Reply I want a teacup pig. I understand they are domesticated, but still. Teacup. Piglet. Also on my list, otters (since they are my Patronus), a baby mastodon, a satyr to play awesome things for me on his pitchpipe, and Gus-Gus from Cinderella, since no other mouse could sound just. that. cute. 1 agrees Reply I WANT A DIKDIK!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd_4kn-7y9E 2 agree Reply I want that giraffe on that satellite TV commercial that is miniature! OMGZZZzZ! And then I want a Viscacha. They're like Peruvian Pikachus and they meditate. Awesome. Oh, and PS CAT: I got to PET a giant tortoise on our honeymoon at Reptile Gardens in SD. Yah. 2 agree Reply :-O 1 agrees Reply ooh! I live in Rapid city, SD! Did you know that Methusela, one of the giant tortoises at reptile gardens, died last year? He lived to be 130 years old though! 1 agrees Reply Birds of prey! Ever since I was little I always wanted a falcon, and when Harry Potter and Labyrinth entered my life the falcon got an owl BFF. It's hilarious because I really do not like domesticated pet birds at all. Parrots creep me out, but a bird with TALONS is a cuddley friend to me. Also I want the teacup giraffe from that weird satellite tv commercial. It's a running joke in our house because everytime it was on I would squeal. 3 agree Reply After reading My Side of the Mountain last week I'm really wanting to do falconry… 2 agree Reply Me toooo. Parrots creep me out so bad, but I've wanted a hawk since I can remember. I think I figured out why though: Parrots are really smart, and I think they're judging me. Hawks just want to eat stuff. I get that. 3 agree Reply We have 2 parrots at home and they make awesome pets but I totally understand why some people just don't like em. As a teacher, I had several students who just couldn't take it. Point of fact, non judgey, parrots or other pet birds are not domesticated. They are still very wild, most of them only one or two generations away, but are rather tamed and handle-able, much like a lot of other exotic pets. 2 agree Reply The other day I saw a baby Polar Bear on the news and I WANT ONE! But my husband says it will eat me. 🙁 4 agree Reply Not if it's one that stays a baby all the time. 6 agree Reply I work in a zoo, so i get to play with exotic animals all the time! It's like having smell pets that don't wreck the home. PS i'm totally against having exotics at home, my three house cats are just fine. But in fantasy land…………… Pallas Cat, Giant Otter, Cave Bear (it's fantasy land, they're back), Ring Tail cat and raccoon dog. I think that would start out my menagerie at home. Great post! 1 agrees Reply DREAM JOB! Good pick on the cave bear! Reply I also work at a zoo. We were just having a conversation the other day about the feasability of meerkats as pets. Obviously NOT a smart move, but we've got babies that are SOF*INGCUTE that I can't stand it. If my kinkajou wasn't so greasy, I'd take him home and make him snuggle with me all night. Also, I want a spider monkey. He would chill on the couch with me and hug me when I came home from work. 1 agrees Reply A meerkat. A whole FAMILY of meerkats. Reply A bat and some kind of large cat, probably a panther, but possibly a tiger. Heck, since this is a fantasy, I'll take both. And otters, maybe a river otter. Oh, and my boyfriend wants a tiny Kodak bear, so that's on the list too. 1 agrees Reply 2 Capybaras cause you can't have just one! It needs a friend! Sheep to cuddle. I need at least 2 dozen. A pack of cavalier king charles spaniels. I have one but they are so cute I need more! A pony, not a horse, big enough for me to ride that is dyed blue to match my hair! (I asked for this for Christmas!) Three cats (my hubby-to-be is allergic so they are fantasy) And last on my list is a pet Clark Kent as played by Dean Cain in Lois and Clark: The New Adventures of Superman! He can sleep in my bed! 1 agrees Reply I once had a dream about a macaw that didn't scream, poop or bite. I want that fantasy parrot. And I want it to be shimmery teal blue on top with rainbow wing feathers. 2 agree Reply Also a skunk that doesn't smell. 1 agrees Reply You can have the stink gland surgically removed. Vets have done this. Some skunks do well in a home setting. They're kinda like cats, but without being cats. 2 agree Reply Even if you remove their scent glands, their poop still smells like "skunk". I wouldn't want one in my house, but my friend had one for years and he was fun! 1 agrees Reply i'd love to keep sea dragons. they're so beautiful. other animals i'd want: a giant fruit-eating relative of the Komodo dragon Darwin 1 agrees Reply oh, and a spotted skunk. because HOT DANGIT THEY'RE CUTE OKAY. 1 agrees Reply while i'm thinking about it, the other half would love a pygmy hippo. 2 agree Reply A hedgehog. You can't have them in CA where I live. 2 agree Reply HYPERVENTILATING WITH AWESOME. Okay okay okay. First of all? All of these. In a zoo. Where we could cuddle and every animal would have a really realistic faux-environment biodome to run around in, free-range. BUT ALSO. – Lionfish – Sloth – Pygmy hippo – Red panda – Leeeeemurrrrrr 1 agrees Reply My fossa is going to make SO MUCH HAMBURGER of your leemur. Those bitches be crazy. 1 agrees Reply CRAZY CUTE. And now I'm mentally pitting everyone's dream exotic pets against one another. BAD THOUGHTS, DOOTS. 1 agrees Reply one day i will have a farm, with chickens, and miniature ponies, and some of those fainting goats. can you milk a fainting goat? 1 agrees Reply they're traditionally considered meat goats. i don't believe they're terribly good milkers. Tennessee fainters are in my somewhat distant future. first, a farm, then the goats. 1 agrees Reply MANATEE! They are so sweet and sad. And they hold hands. http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_3SF6qFf1FOA/TBxTEWBG5xI/AAAAAAAAB4Y/fKPVUbjAz3Q/s1600/manatee.jpg 4 agree Reply I would like a giant panda, a skunk (that is magically not smelly at all), and a flamingo or two. 😀 Reply I'm in for the giant panda. Except that it would be a baby giant panda. They're as clumsy and adorable as baby animal can be, AND they have black ears and eyes. I die. 2 agree Reply This might be my favorite Offbeat Empire post ever. *insert squee-fest here* I was just talking about riding a giant tortoise, so that's definitely number 1 on my list. Also a sloth, teacup pig named Mr Pigglesby, and several marmosets. Those finger monkeys are the cutest. And everything would be hypo-allergenic. Reply I actually got to RIDE a giant tortoise when I was a child. We were in Bali and I was tiny. It was AWESOME. Reply Everyone mentions the non-smelly skunk. When my dad was a teen/in college, he had a descented pet skunk. He used to walk it on campus to pick up girls (he's a little odd). I want a pet red fox. Under the laws in my state, I could have one, but finding a vet would be impossible, therefore it's a no-go. Reply I want a black tip reef shark in a moat surrounding my house!!! And I want a big-ass hippo to ride around to run errands. I want a teacup stingray to put in the fish tank since I already have a few dream pets in there right now. Care if I brag? I have a senelagus bichir, 3 Bala sharks, and a dragon goby. And randomly we have a tetra living peacefully and happily in there. We have no idea where he came from or why he hasn't been eaten… Ah well, long as they're all happy. I just so badly want a teacup stingray! All that and an African serval. 1 agrees Reply I want a koala to snuggle with, a wombat as a lap warmer, a fox to chase around, a baby elephant to play soccer with, and a white tiger to scare away the baddies. Reply DOLPHINS. And also, a merperson (or several, so they don't get lonely) who speaks both Dolphin and English, so we could all talk to each other and they could teach me how to do backflips. Also, a few bats, that are litter-box trained and distinctly un-rabid. And a sloth, for the aforementioned sloth hugs. Reply I so madly want the Mini Giraffe from the DirecTV commercials. Too. Frickin'. Adorable. I've always, since I learned there were such things, wanted a pygmy sperm whale. I'd call him Ahab and keep him in my bathtub. With the penguins. Other potential fantasy pets; a direwolf, a cheetah, a very friendly non-fire-breathing European dragon, a harbour seal or two, a sea lion, a red panda, a zebra. And, even though they're domesticated animals they're still a fantasy because I live in an apartment – a Frisian, a couple of those black and white Gypsy horses with the feathery feet, and those cool Icelandic sheep with six horns. Reply A peacock! With a little harness so we could walk him. And his name would be the sound he makes, phonetically "aa-AAA-a". Reply Elephants! And Falcons! And a monkey for my husband! And more Elephants! Reply I want a red panda for sure! They only get cuter with age. I also want a polar bear! I would ride it to work. Yes, I am Canadian, why do you ask? 😛 Also, I would have like 6 dogs. At least. And a hedgehog that doesn't bite me all the time! 2 agree Reply Lol I'm with you on the polar bear transportation! No need for snow tires! 1 agrees Reply I have desperately wanted an echidna since seeing one in a zoo on my first trip to Australia. They waddle and it's the CUTEST THING EVER. Also, everything everyone else is getting. Yes. 1 agrees Reply You know, echidnas are pretty much the only native animal that will wander into the average backyard here in Aus. That and possums, but they hide. My Grandparents lived in rural Victoria when I was growing up, and we'd spend a lot of time putting out water and fruit (yeh, the mainly only eat bugs…) for them, and herding them off the road. LOVE echidnas! Reply An ocelot. That way I can be all like "oh, have you met my MF OCELOT yet?" And then it could spring out from the shadows and everyone will be amazed. Also, the giant eagles from Lord of the Rings so that I would never have to drive again. And an otter. Definitely an otter. 2 agree Reply OH! If we get to have fantasy wild animal pets, I want a SLOTH!!!! Reply I've always wanted a wombat. It can live in my crawlspace. So soft… once you trim the digging claws? The person who wants a manatee is my new best friend. I have friends who do marine rescue and kept a real rescued baby dolphin in a specially adapted pool in their backyard. Florida has the best and the worst realities of fantasy pets. 1 agrees Reply Yeh, wombats are MASSIVELY destructive and really aggressive, more so as they age. They can literally break through walls. You'd need concrete reinforced with steel to keep him in, and I wouldn't want to get anywhere near him anyway! Now, a wombat that stayed a baby forever? That would make a good pet! 1 agrees Reply I've always wanted a baby sloth or a fennec fox. The fox could play with our pups while me and the sloth have a hug. The husband desperately wants a monkey. He kept threatening to smuggle one home during our honeymoon in Costa Rica (where they have a sloth reserve, OMG), and I'm not sure he was joking… Reply Puppy-sized elephant all the way, since we're on the topic of pets that don't exist. Maybe some domesticated crows, a skunk, aaaaaand a sloth. My sloth would sit on my shoulders and nap while I painted. Also, I really want a goat. But since the hubs and I are looking for a house in the country, that could very easily become a reality in the future. Reply I have always wanted an elephant, and a giraffe, except the size of a dog instead of normal size. Reply I have wanted a meerkat forever. Seriously. (I kinda want to be a meerkat, too.) 1 agrees Reply An arctic fox, a deer, a dodo bird, a pygmy rabbit(the local kind went extinct a few years back), a baby snow leopard, a puffskein, a fluffy baby seal, a dolphin, a baby sun bear, a panda, and a prehistoric pygmy rhino. Mr. Bear wants a wolf, a 10ft boa constrictor, and a big, beautiful parrot. 1 agrees Reply Pet raccoons, eh? I have a few stories in that area: Our next door neighbours growing up had a pet raccoon. Mick (named after Mick Jagger) was found on the side of the highway after his mother was struck by a car. Mick loved to play with our dog, Boots and vice versa. One day he got out of his cage, and came over to our place. Boots was inside and Mick decided to try and climb the patio screen door to try and get to Boots. He put huge holes in the screen with his claws. We knew another family that had a pet raccoon that they kept in the house, and they had to put baby locks on the cupboards to keep him out of things. When I was in Grade 2, someone brought a raccoon to class for some reason. The local paper came to document the event (The local paper spent a lot of time documenting my Grade 2 year. On the last day of school, myself and another kid took a thank you letter over to the paper, thanking them for featuring us so many times, and a picture of us with the letter ended up in the paper too. Small town.) and there was a big to-do made about who would get to hold the raccoon in the picture for the newspaper. One of the boys was chosen, and the as soon as he had the raccoon in his arms, it um, defecated all over him. The rest of us suddenly didn't feel so bad about not being chosen. Anyways, I'd like a sugar glider. It's kind of like a marsupial flying squirrel. 2 agree Reply An ankylosaur. One of the relatively small, Australian ones. I know they're not very smart, but so cute! Also, children's author Bill Peet had a capybara, and it didn't sound like a disaster. 1 agrees Reply Ohhhh! No wonder the wumps look like capybaras! I have always wanted a wump. Reply A sloth for sure and an anteater and a river otter. Oh, and a mini-pterodactyl. 1 agrees Reply Yeah for the anteaters!!! Reply My old roommate and I used to fantasize like this all the time. If we were still single when we graduated, we were going to get a house together. She wanted a dog, and I told her that if she got one, I got to have a cat. It spiraled downhill from there. If I remember correctly, our imaginary pets included: an elephant, a dragon, a penguin, a fennec fox, a tarsier, a flying squirrel (you may have guessed we're suckers for the adorable), and some frogs. Also, another friend of mine wants a pygmy hippo so bad she can't stand it. Some days I am not sure to what extent she is joking. Reply We have ferrets which is a little weird my mother in law bought a tortise that turned out to be one of the largest species. Zula was one pound in 2005 and is close to 65 now. She has her own heated house with 1/2 an acre to roam on. Since her life expectancy is 60 plus years, I'm sure she will be living at my house some day. 2 agree Reply Tortoise is high on our list as well. We have a little menagerie right now, but are reigned in by income restraints and the fact that we are still renting. When we buy our own place though, watch out. The torti-tat will be made and Herman (we've already named him) will be purchased. Reply I'd totally have a tasmanian devil. If he doesn't rip my arm off, that is. XD I mean, just look at this one! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NfRbADRoac Annd besides that… a tame tiger. And a lion. And while we're at it, a liger (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liger). Oh! A caracal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caracal)! They've actually been my favourite feline since I saw them in a book when I was little! *__* Reply Tassie devils apparently make great pets! Like dogs, but they don't take abuse. So basically as long as your a decent person, your fine! 1 agrees Reply My guy and I joke about this all the time! Our menagerie would include . . . A monkey ( no specific type, the bf just wants a monkey) A penguin A polar bear (to ride to work . . ala golden compass) A koi fish in the bathtub and A giant anteater, I just want to cuddle one! 1 agrees Reply I would definitely need a tiger, a dolphin, and a flying horse (think Rainbow Brite's horse or the firemares in Krull). Oh, and I can't forget my orangutan and my baby elephant. 2 agree Reply KITTIES. BIG KITTIES. A panther and a tiger and an ocelot and a serval and and and… kitties. 4 agree Reply I don't know how many of you want a bunch of stuffed animals, but the World Wildlife Fund has a thing right now that if you donate $50 you can pick out a stuffed animal. They have a lot from all of our wishlists. If you donate $200, you can get a stuffed animal family of meerkats. They are pretty awesome. 2 agree Reply Some day, I WILL have a capybara, and I will put a harness on it and take it for walks. And I'm gonna hug it and kiss it and love it forever and never use it up. /tinytoons 1 agrees Reply I get to work with most of these animals on a daily basis, as a zookeeper. But I WANT a wombat. I can't contain the squee whenever I see one. Also, an otter. Those hands! That face! Gah! This might be my all-time favorite thread…ever. Oh, and Cat? If you ever find yourself in Utah, I can totally hook you up with feeding an aldabra tortoise! Reply DEAL. Reply I totally had a dream a couple weeks ago that my husband and I had a pet triceratops… so now I kinda want one. Failing that, I'd take a pet owl, like this little thing: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3G1PFLuTrgM Also, a tame porcupine, like this talkative guy who's been making the rounds: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UGz8jcbJjRw But more than anything else right now, I want a DOG. Which is off limits because we have a smallish apartment that we're already sharing with a cat, and no yard to speak of (and my husband and I both want a big dog that would need room to run). *sigh* I love my kitty, but still. Puppy love would be nice too. 1 agrees Reply One day, I will actually have a dairy goat and a miniature cow (a Zebu! Because they are awesome!) and chickens and LOTS of rescue dogs. But in fantasy land I want big cats. One of each. Or maybe two of each…And I will name them all Bob. Except for the bobcat, he will be Fred. And two Anatolian shepherds who I will train to flank me at all times, so that I will be the most terrifying thing ever. …Anna an alicorn. Because pointy flying ponies are the best. 1 agrees Reply I want a baby panda penguin pygmy hippo a manatee or two turtles birds that sitt on my shoulders like im a disney princess a couple of friendly deer a horse pigs baby chickens and ducks And a house buffalo with hot pink and white day of the dead markings a talking house sheep – i had a dream about having those 2 last night 1 agrees Reply I keep asking my managers for a pack mule to help me carry stuff around at work. I work in an urban airport soooo that's not gonna happen. Otherwise, I'd love: -A crow -A bat (a flying fox especially! So cute!) -A thylacine! (The YA Leviathan series by Scott Westerfeld won my heart as soon as they introduced a lady scientist with a bowler hat and a pet thylacine.) -A Pern fire lizard as mentioned up-thread -A Kneazle from Harry Potter 1 agrees Reply But you can get Nigerean dwarf goats for milking and then make miniature cheese from your miniature goats!!!! This is totally on my real-life animal list – two dwarf goats, a miniature donkey, and chickens (regular sized) – when my wife and I buy our fantasy-for-now-one-day-to-be-real-life house in Spain. My fantasy pet list is MINIATURE ELEPHANT a million times over – one that stays baby size forever and goes swimming with me and cuddles on the bed. And a beluga in my bathtub. We would sing Rafi songs together. And a shoulder monkey (which played multiple instruments and used a litterbox and never threw feces.) And a fennec fox. For the obvious reason that it is the cutest creature which has ever lived. (In my fantasy world, my cats don't slaughter it and eat it for dinner. In real life, I think that might end differently.) 1 agrees Reply Oops. First half of this was in response to AMB on page one… weird that it didn't thread :/ Reply A lyrebird. They can imitate CHAINSAWS! And the shutter on a camera. So amazing. Or a raven, they are so smart and funny. In the mammalian category I would want an english badger, I'd have him since babyhood so he would be super cuddly and adorable. Reply http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjE0Kdfos4Y The lyrebird is so crazy cool. Reply Ok, I feel bad not having read all of the comments, especially since they are SO MUCH FUN and I love this post to death! But I want a tiger so bad I can barely breath whenever I think about it (which is actually pretty often). My absolute ideal vacation would be to go to that monastary in Thailand where the monks protect the tigers. On my bucket list: HUG A TIGER. I would die happy if I got to hug a tiger (even if the tiger was the one mauling me and eating me as I died). I have also always wanted a goat, and now that we have a house and a yard people keep asking when I'm going to get one (and I even bought/read a book about raising them), but we recently discovered that they count as livestock and we're not allowed to have livestock in our town. 🙁 Utter sadness. 1 agrees Reply A little late to this party, but I HAVE hugged a tiger! It was AWESOME!!!! Sawdust Days in Oshkosh, WI used to have a vendor where you could get your picture taken with a baby tiger. I think the company is Big Cats of the World, based in Texas? BEST experience EVER!!!!! Reply http://www.sawdustdays.com/great-cat-adventures Welp, I know where I'm vacationing this summer. 1 agrees Reply I'm so glad you saw my post! Reply On the other hand, there are lots of bad stories on the web about Great Cat Adventures and how they get their cats and whether they are legitimate. I admit I didn't do my research about them. I certainly don't approve of a company that doesn't follow safety protocols or exploits animals for profit! It WAS a great experience, but part of me is a bit ashamed that I may have helped an awful person abuse animals. 1 agrees Yeah, I saw all the bad stuff about them when I was trying to find it. Sadness. I guess I will still have to make the trek to Thailand. 🙂 Still… You hugged a tiger!!! My fantasy pet: An owl. Reply Fun fact: Binturongs smell like popcorn! Yes, I will have one, why do you ask? Reply Me: TINY BABY BAT! Reply Ohhhhhh my goodness. I could just watch it hang on my finger all day. Reply A Pocket Sloth, a Slow Loris and Tapur… yup. Reply I'd totally get: 1) a miniature giraffe- one small enough to fit under the dining table. 2) a miniature dragon- one the size of a large housecat 3) a magical full-size lion that pops out of my hands whenever I want him about to keep me company and jumps back into them and the nth dimension when I need courage and assertiveness 4) a massive dog that doesn't bark and NEVER smells of dog 5)uni-sheep. Half sheep, half unicorn. Reply Ok… after reading the first page (and being too lazy to read the next two)… how has no-one mentioned a luck dragon??? http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qRquwAJv3tg/Tclq002kgnI/AAAAAAAAA7I/DAxhxPvcUh0/s1600/falkor-luck-dragon.jpg Seriously, adorbz, they bring you luck, giant, and they can freaking fly! 1 agrees Reply How has no one mentioned a baby tapir yet?! Squuuuueeeeee! http://www.zooborns.com/zooborns/tapir/ 1 agrees Reply I would have: 1. a Hippogriff, to take me places and defend my castle 😉 2. a gold firelizard queen, to send messages with 3. a mimic octopus 4. a bunch of different owls 5. one of those glowy deep sea jellyfish 6. and a hippocampus And I'd have a thestral, but I wouldn't be able to see it. 1 agrees Reply Dikdik's are really cute in an alien sort of way. Also, I would like a lemur. And a really gigantic rabbit. I have two bunnies of my own, but they barely equal 15 lbs put together. I want one of those gigantic rabbits. That I could dress up as a little dandy. I would call him Clifford. Reply I soo want a pet mini pig and I would name him Winston. He would be just like a dog except he wouldn't shed at all! If only….. Reply All these pages and no pokemon? Well I would totally have an eevee! They are so cute! On top of that, I would get a cute little owl and a neutered tribble to cuddle. And a giant racing tortise of course. Reply No mention of barking deer? Also known as muntjacs, they look like a cross between a dog and a deer. They are domesticate-able and one day I will have one!!! Also, in fantasy land, I want an Okapi, which is real, just impossible, a unicorn with wings, and she would have to be purple and green, and a mini-dragon! And a bunch of uni-frogs. Like a whole bunch, 100 or so!! 1 agrees Reply how have i not commented in here yet? oookay… in fantasy land, I have a big castle with a moat… in the moat there lives a dugong, a manatee, a forever-baby dolphin, a minature hump-back whale, and a narwhal. Oh, and some penguines of various species, and a pygmy hippo for the Hubs. Inside, we have my dog Razor who will live as long as i do, a sloth, a lemur, an alpaca and a llama, a minature giraffe (like, maybe horse sized…) a teacup chinese dragon, a flying bison (for transport), and probably a few aussie marsupials, like a koala, (a sweet one, not a grumpy-ass grunting one), a brushtail possum (actually had one of these as a teenager, they're super affectionate if raised from babies) a forever-baby wombat, a chuddich (http://www.australianfauna.com/chudditch.php) and a platypus, but he'll have to live in the moat too… 1 agrees Reply Quokka. They're like housecatgeroo-marmotsupials, completely unabashedly friendly, practically tame, and unwaveringly adorable. Shame they exist only on a small Western Australian island. Reply How about a minature t-rex that cuddles and won't bite. And a tiny dragon like the ones in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. And a tiger. Maybe a herd of scottie dogs too.. Reply hum. didn't saw the … Kakapo! I would smell his greenish soft feathers which will smell like honey everytime he would make a tour on my knees. yeah… a kakapo. Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment Participate in this conversation via emailGet only replies to your comment, the best of the rest, as well as a daily recap of all comments on this post. No more than a few emails daily, which you can reply to/unsubscribe from directly from your inbox. No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.