Cut your pastries with a bonesaw #Food#baking#breakfast#great-ideas#horror#macabre June 11 | Ariel offbeatbride Photo by Libby Bulloff Libby Bulloff, the Seattle-based slightly-creepy awesomepants who brought us The Satanic Wrath and Evil Despair of Infernal Yardwork, presents this lovely photo of the breakfast she had last weekend. As she explained: "Stephen takes a genuine bonesaw to a pair of chocolate croissants he baked this morning. Like you do." If you lean toward the slightly morbid and horrortastic end of the spectrum, using a bonesaw to slice breakfast pastries you baked is a great way to remind your brunch guests of the circle of life: first brunch, eventually death. Get yours here: Satterlee Bone Saw for $30 Reporter Name * Reporter Email * Original text Enter the original text here. Edited text* Enter your suggested copyedit here. Notes You can add a note for the editor here. * Required information. Fix Typo Ariel Author of Offbeat Bride: Creative Alternatives for Independent Brides, Ariel acts as the publisher of all the Offbeat Empire websites. She lives in Seattle with her son, and if she's not reading or writing, chances are good that she's dancing and happy-crying. PREVIOUS First home? Big event? Major life goal? Get what you need to make it happen with Deposit a Gift NEXT Monday Moment: vintage Wurlitzers and floating doors Show/Hide comments [ 8 ] I totally read this as "panties" and not "pastries" at first. 1 agrees Reply Hey, it's a sharp saw! I'm sure it works great on panties, too. 5 agree Reply Please keep your bonesaws away from my panties … 1 agrees Reply Can "bonesaw" be a new euphemism for vagina? I gotcher bonesaw right here, buddy. IN MY PANTIES. 20 agree Reply I dunno, I kind of like that, but it does seem a bit vagina dentata-y. I mean, if you accept that a penis is a "bone", then, well… 3 agree If I do use this to split chocolate croissants, do I have to share them? 4 agree Reply I'm fairly certain the rule is, "the person with the bone saw is the boss" ergo no sharing. 20 agree Reply wait wait wait wait. are you telling me chocolate croissants are a thing I could make? with my hands? in my house? and then stuff in my face??? I don't know why it has never occurred to me that delicious baked goods might actually be achievable without five years of patisserie school and a big white chef's hat and probably a really terrible fake french accent (that last bit I have down though) 4 agree Reply Join the conversation Cancel Reply Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *Comment No-drama comment policy Part of what makes the Offbeat Empire different is our commitment to civil, constructive commenting. Make sure you're familiar with our no-drama comment policy.