3 methods to help you survive involuntarily Living Apart Together

By on May 21st

Our uncoordinated first messages on Pair: we sent each other butts.

My dude Scott got a new job in another state this spring, so…he lives there now. We're coming up on three months of living seven hours apart and running two households. Other than my complete inability to care about cleaning anything and my transition into a nocturnal phantasm unable to wake before noon, I'm good. Scott sounds like he is enjoying exploring a new city, and neither of us feels overwhelming loneliness.

Now, part of our continued good morale is definitely due to the fact that we are both only children. But we've also been using a few tools to get through LAT:

  1. Using Rdio together. Scott bought us a family subscription to Rdio. It's hard to feel lonely when I can distract myself with just about any album I want (currently popular: Nine Inch Nails, El-P, fun.). Scott's often my new music discovery source, and it's even easier now — I can just pull him up on Rdio and check out his history. It goes all around the house with me: it plays from my computer while I blog downstairs, it keeps me company in the garden, it lulls me to sleep on my alarm clock radio, and it's great for late-night dance parties when I pull it up on our laptop-powered stereo.
  2. Pairing up. Pair is an app for iPhone and Google phones, and it's stupid-simple: it's a private messenger linking ONLY you and your beloved. It features cooperative drawing, fee-free messaging, and introduced the concept of thumbkissing — but I love it for its privacy features. I have Pair set to say only, "Scott has sent you a message." so when he sends me a hot manly beard porn or calls me pet names, my secret soft underbelly is safe in my phone until I log in to check it out.
  3. Jeremy Renner. I do not know if Scott has a me-stand in, but I have been enjoying the company of Jeremy Renner, who is roughly Scott's build and definitely my type: thick cut, big nose, intense eyes. So I've been enjoying The Avengers (awesome), The Hurt Locker (great), Dahmer (not my proudest moment, but does the job), and <Mission Impossible 4: Ghost Protocol (not even worth it).

We don't talk on the phone or FaceTime as much as either of us would like, but it helps us feel much more connected when we have simple shared experiences and a private line JUST for us.

And Jeremy Renner's arms.

Do you have tools for getting through long-term long-distance relationships?

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About Cat Rocketship

I was the Managing Editor of Offbeat Home for a year and a half. I have a rich Internet life and also a pretty good real life. Hobbies include D&D, Twitter, and working on making our household more self-reliant. I also draw things.