Things that seem normal when you live alone

The caption on the video basically sums it up. The weirdest roommate ever: yourself.

Hat tip to Laughing Squid.

  1. That was like me these last 4 days while that guy I married was out of town. It was HEAVEN!!! Glad he's back though… kinda? …Damn these pants feel constricting…

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      • right?!! lol I proudly proclaim to my husband it is "pants-less time" when I no longer have to leave the house every night! I may have even sang songs about it too >.>

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        • Dude, yes. PANTS OFF DANCE OFF HERE WE GO.

          Also, this video is basically the story of my college years.

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        • That's funny. I often tell people that the sentance I hear from my husband the most is "Put on your pants and let's go."

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          • hahaha! Same here. Although its normally me telling him to put pants on.

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          • Same here! Though, my fiance and I do almost everything in this video and we've been living together for over a year. NO SHAME.

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          • I get phone calls from my guy when he's close to the house. He's right about my pantslessness 95% of the time.

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          • I have brought a friend over and just cracked the door to call out to my then-boyfriend-now-hubby, "Honeeeyyy? Do you have pants on?" After a certain time of day, he believes pants to be unnecessary. I cannot complain, because when I am home I feel bras are unnecessary – and if it's hot enough and I am alone or only with my husband, shirts also become unnecessary.

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      • Why stop with pants? I have spent entire Saturdays cleaning, cooking, doing dishes, Netflixing, and surfing some interweb in nothing but undies.

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        • I've spent entire weekends in my fuzzy pink bathrobe. Although sometimes I wear my husband's fuzzy black one because I think it's funny to see him in the pink one XD

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          • Dude, I have a fuzzy pink bathrobe, AND a fuzzy baby blue bathrobe. I'm pretty sure I could happily live in a rotating selection of fuzzy bathrobes.

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        • Heck, I only wear anything at all at home only if we have guests over or it's cold out, or a neighbor is in the backyard (We have an upstairs house-neighbor who lives in the apartment upstairs).

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    • This might be why I wear dresses so much… and yes living by yourself has it's "perks" tehehe ;)

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  2. This is me whenever Matt is off doing his thing in the military. Must keep it a secret. :)

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  3. Yep. The bathroom door is never shut once my husband leaves. I don't wait for him to leave to declare "no pants" time (maybe because he likes joining me on that one).

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  4. 2 pregnancies in 2 years + small bathroom = door open even when he's home or else he would never see me and I would be trapped in a smaller room than most public stalls.

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  5. I loved this HARD. I lived alone for two years and had the time of my life! I never knew I could have so much fun when no-one is watching! The "healthy salad, filthy habits" was my favourite. Also instead of practicing for the circus I practised for Bellydance Superstars.

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  6. What? No eating toast for lunch and cereal for dinner?

    At first it's because you forgot to buy food or cooking for one just doesn't seem worth it. Sooner or later it's because you want it.

    That's the habit I've never broken. Can't eat breakfast for dinner now, hubby would complain I think (unless it was a fry up, and that would defeat the point), but it happens a lot at lunch time.

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  7. HILARIOUS! And so accurate! The only part of that that I haven't done was the salad, and that's probably because I never thought of it!

    Kudos to Laughing Squid!

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    • Confession: When I saw the salad bit, I was like "THAT'S GENIU–awful. That's awful. I would never do that rather than dirty a knife and a cutting board…"

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  8. I live with my son and I still act like that.
    Almost exactly. Except the laundry piles, I can't stand that.

    Peeing with the bathroom door open? Always. I have to keep reminding my 7 year old to close the door at other people's houses though, so clearly I'm teaching him bad things.

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  9. SOMEONE ELSE DOES THE SALAD THING?

    Beware, potential mouth celery/carrot choppers; it is as addictive as leaving the bathroom door open. Which I still do. Even though I live with my SO. (Note: I do not chop carrots with my mouth if he's going to eat the salad, too. I have SOME dignity, you know. A little.)

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  10. I'm so lazy that if I was going to chop the vegetables that way, I'd just keep right on going and eat them that way. No bowl to wash! I'd just squirt dressing on random vegetables and chow down over the sink. Not that I have ever DONE that…no sir, I have not!

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    • Squirting is for wusses. Just unscrew the top and dunk them in the dressing.

      Or as Dylan Moran once said "Eating bread from the bag, dipping it in anything runnier than bread."

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      • This doesn't work unless you have a completely FULL bottle of dressing though! Um, not that I've actually tested this in multiple situations or anything, I just like to have the squirt top dressing because it gives more control anyways, yeah, that's why I buy that kind. It IS, I swear!!

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  11. I will never be able to live with people again thanks to my love of no pants, and my penchant for singing songs to my cats, replacing certain lyrics with the words "Meow", "Mew" and "Kitty"
    ie. I got the mews like Jagger.

    It's hilarious that I have slept with piles of laundry before. Very large piles of laundry…

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    • OMG, my husband does this thing where he will sing any song that's in his head and replace most of the words with our cats' names. I don't think I even know the real words to "Hips Don't Lie" anymore…

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    • "mews like Jagger"
      !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      That warranted a GUFFAW. Which I gave into without thought.
      As if I didn't have a aughs-very-loudly reputation at work already….

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  12. I showed this to my parents and they both said "We do some of these things already… with other people around."

    And now I know how I got to be so weird.

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  13. When my roomie's not around, the pants are off. Even sometimes when she walks in I'm like "Look, I just need them off today" and she's fine with it.
    I mean, why bother with them sometimes. Really.

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  14. funniest video ever, i've watched it at least 6 times now and i've cried laughing every damn time lol

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  15. This is sooo me now that I'm married to a man who is on travel 10 months out of the year and I am a full-time student online. I stood in my closet the other day shouting "Sell all the pants!" because I really only need pajamas and some comfy cotton dresses/skirts. Also, I don't bother with even making a salad anymore. I just dunk the carrot or celery sticks straight into the bottle of dressing. And I sleep on the futon in the office frequently because I'm just heading straight for the computer when I wake up and it saves me the trouble of making my bed in the morning most days.

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  16. I like the security of the feeling of the closed bathroom door. But two cats demand that the doors be kept open!

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  17. This is me when either no one is home or it's just me and the fiance. Of course, I do sing stupid nonsense things whenever for whatever reason. Best stress relief that is!

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  18. Oh, there have been many times when my SO and I were both home, doing home-y stuff, when the door bell rang and we broke into a fight of who was going to emergency-fast put on pants so we could answer the door because none of us wore any.
    Most of those times, the person outside the door was gone by the time we made it there in pants :D

    Pants are so useless when you're home.

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    • This ^ happens at our house ALL the time. I'm always telling callers we didn't hear the bell from the other end of the house (we live in a tiny house, betting no one is buying that excuse!)

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  19. I watched this and laughed, and thought "glad I'm not the only one." Pants off happens when I walk in the door, and until recently I didn't have an attached bathroom door for about 8 months… reattached for company purposes…

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  20. Yeah this is me … even tho i live with my husband. It drives him crazy…lol… He always said that i should live by myself before we got married…I don't see why… I totally do all those things now. with the exception of the chopping veggies with my teeth(i gotta practice my knife skills so i can pretend to be on a food show while i cook) And the clothes on the bed … They are in the floor in our bed room in 4fthigh piles… when i pick them up our room looks huge! We have no drawers and only one odd shaped closet so We start out with piles of clean laundry neatly stacked against the wall that slowly morph in to giant piles of who knows what in the middle of the floor.

    Oh well someday ill get around to putting it away …

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  21. This was me when I lived by myself… then I had a boyfriend and not so much… then I had a baby, and a new boyfriend and this is me again. Except everytime I cook I pretend I have cooking show and I hardly ever wear pants. :)

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  22. Living on my own in my first place for over a year! I have only done laundry 7 times [epic three day marathons of laundry] and I am often tempted to throw out and buy new dishes rather than wash the Mt. Everest sized pile of dishes that just planted a flag of ownership on every free space of counter… and coffee table.

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