Four foolproof alarm clocks to get you up each morning

By on Sep 23rd

Just woke up © by Warren Noronha, used under Creative Commons license.

Raise your hand if you have trouble waking up in the morning.

You too?

Okay, you're going to like this post. Let's talk about alarm clock options.

Comedian Mike Birbiglia named his sleep-jerk "Sleepy Carl." Sleepy Carl is the part of you which knows you should get up, but convinces you that staying in bed is a better idea. I'mma judge these alarm clocks by their ability to defeat our Sleepy Carls.

If you're anything like me, you're on a constant hunt for alarm clock improvements. Something that doesn't make you angry, but wakes you up enough that you can't hit the Snooze button and score another hour of sleep. Try these alarm clocks on for size:

Defuseable clock

The defuseable clock is intriguing; you have to "defuse" the clock to turn off the alarm — but after one try, any chronic oversleeper would figure it out. There's no danger! Keep on sleeping! Jerk rating: 1 out of 5 jerkstars. Sleepy Carl will totally convince you to sleep through this one.

Talk O'Clock

Talk O'Clock is a user-to-user service. You input the time you'd like to wake up and, theoretically, another human gets that data and calls you to wake you up. Jerk rating: 4 out of 5 jerkstars. If you get a talky partner, they could totally wake you up — but you might also wake up because of a bad case of social anxiety.

Sleep Cycle

Humans are supposed to sleep in 90 minute REM cycles. We're supposed to be most wakeful every 90 minutes. Sleep Cycle uses your iPhone accelerometer to track how much you move in your sleep — and then wakes you up at the peak of wakefulness nearest your wakeup call. I've used Sleep Cycle, and I'd give it 4 out of 5 jerkstars. It would probably work much better for anyone who is a better overall sleeper than I.


Japanese for "wake up," Okite is an iPhone app which tweets embarrassing things about the sleeper — like "in a sailor suit now" — for every minute they remain asleep. Jerk rating: 2.5 out of 5 jerkstars. It might get you up, but I can totally see Sleepy Carl talking you out of caring about who knows you love to eat your boogers.

Throwing money away

This concept alarm clock asks you to put a bill in before bed time — and if you don't wake up when it goes off, your money meets the shredder! So effectively, the money shredding alarm is asking you to commit a federal crime. Maybe that's why it's still just a concept.

What works to get you out of bed on your most impossible mornings? Do share; we could all use the wisdom.

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About Cat Rocketship

I was the Managing Editor of Offbeat Home for a year and a half. I have a rich Internet life and also a pretty good real life. Hobbies include D&D, Twitter, and working on making our household more self-reliant. I also draw things.