Incontinence pads saved my new mattress from messy sex

By on Mar 16th

The New Bed

The brand new mattress back in 2008. IT STILL LOOKS LIKE THIS!


A couple years ago, high on a tax refund, Andreas and I invested in our first ever brand-spanking-new mattress. For ten years, we'd slept on a series of secondhand mattresses and sagging futons, but we were finally moving on up in the world with a NEW MATTRESS!

When we set up the bed, I realized I was terrified. The mattress was SO WHITE, and I desperately wanted it to stay that way. Ten years of sleeping on mattresses stained with other people's bodily fluids had done me in. I became obsessed with keeping the mattress clean and was constantly pulling out towels to lay on the bed during, uh, intimate moments.

"…JUST IN CASE!" I would say, as Andreas rolled his eyes at me. And then the unthinkable happened: a particularly messy encounter soaked all the way through a towel. (Without getting into it, we'll just say these things can happen.)

Seven bucks for a clean mattress forevar.

After spending an hour scrubbing out the top of the mattress (a serious waste of after-glow), I decided I needed to get serious. What could I use to better protect it? A full plastic/rubber mattress cover felt like overkill — 99% of the time, we just didn't need it. What I needed was like a towel that couldn't get soaked through.

What I needed was an incontinence bed pad. Wait, really? I was going to buy hospital-grade incontinence products for my bedroom?

The answer was yes. In fact, I bought a four-pack. I call them "special mats" and they live folded up next to the bed, to be pulled out and quickly slapped down on top of the fitted sheet when needed. The mats are soft and quilted (the waterproof plastic lining is encased in cloth), so they're comfortable and not at all like the dreaded "rubber sheets." While it's sort of odd to have medical incontinence supplies next to the bed, I am proud to say that three years later, our mattress is still completely unstained. I'm extra proud of that accomplishment considering we co-slept with a spitting up baby for six months… special mats are good for all sorts of bodily fluids!